


Light Surrounding You

by SunMonTue



Series: Light/Dark [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Past Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 10:30:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 57,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunMonTue/pseuds/SunMonTue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Into the Light, which was a sequel to Into the Dark. This is a slow, relatively fluffy, romance between Kurt and Dave. You will need to have read the other two stories for this to make any sense whatsoever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There's nothing explicit at all in this story, but it will obviously make reference to what happened in "Into the Dark". There may be potential smut in much later chapters if this story goes that way. I don't know at this stage. I'm not having Kurt jump into anything given his current fragile state.

"He's going to  _kill_ him!" Rachel exclaims, eyes wide and out of breath from running in, disrupting their practice. He knows Rachel has a flair for the dramatic, one he recognizes because it mirrors his own, but this is more than just that, she is genuinely freaking out. The girls have all stopped singing, staring at the pair of them and Mercedes and Santana have crowded close.

"Who?" Mercedes asks.

"Puck!"

"Who's killing Puck?"

"Blaine!"

"Pfft. Blaine could never take on Puck," Santana mutters, flicking her hair and Rachel looks  _murderous_.

" _NO!_  Puck is going to kill  _Blaine._ "

"Oh  _shit_ …"

He's running then, barely hears Santana say how that scenario is actually far more likely. He has no idea why Puck would want to kill Blaine, but beat him to a pulp? That he can believe. All of Puck's glances the last few days, and he knows Puck considers himself some sort of weird avenging-angel-of-the-dark or something equally stupid, trying to recant all his misdeeds.

He skitters into the choir room and his eyes widen in horror. There's blood. A lot of it and Blaine is  _covered_  in it. Sam and Mike are holding back a struggling Puck, while Finn and Mr Schue are on the ground beside Blaine, looking completely lost. Mr Schue is trying, and failing, to maintain some semblance of order, yelling at Puck to calm down while trying to stop a struggling Blaine from getting up. Mercedes and Santana are beside him, and they both look pleased, which he finds annoying for some reason.

"Puck! What have you  _done_?"

"I figured out what he did. And  _no one_  has done anything about it!"

Kurt stares at him in horror.

" _What?_ "

"He drugged you! And…" his eyes shift around the room, taking in everyone who is watching their exchange intently and Kurt feels sick. This is the last thing he wanted.

"I don't know where you got that idea from Noah, but  _I_  have never been drugged. Blaine however…was."

He refuses to say more than that, but Noah's eyes have gone wide and he's looking between him and Blaine, confused.

"Then… what happened? Cause I heard what you yelled at him…and…"

"You jumped to conclusions. The  _wrong_ conclusion. How did you hear about the drugs anyway?" Kurt asks, and everyone's watching them like a tennis match, eyes growing wider every time they say the word drug.

"Rachel. Talking to him…" Puck mutters, gesturing behind Kurt with his chin and he turns to find Rachel standing in the doorway, eyes watery, surrounded by the entire TroubleTones constituency.

"Of  _course_ ," Kurt mutters, eyes rolling and glaring at her. She looks repentant, but he's pretty sure that's almost one of her default states now.

"So you dumped him because he took drugs?" Sam asks.

"Wait, you and Blaine broke up?"

"Oh my god Finn! Look. Everyone. Pay attention, I am  _not_  going to repeat this. Blaine and I are no longer together. Because I don't want the whole world knowing what is meant to be  _private_  business that's all you need to know," he shoots a glare at Puck then, who just frowns. "All the people who I  _want_  to know, who  _need_  to know, already do. This is not open to discussion or debate," he stares them all down and gets imperceptible nods from everyone except Puck who is now glaring at him. "Has anyone gone to get the nurse? That's a lot of blood."

It's as if a summoning has taken place and she appears in the doorway, followed by Miss Pillsbury and Artie. He waits for her to kneel beside Blaine before stalking back into the hallway. He doesn't want to care,  _can't_  care about him, but he takes no satisfaction in seeing him lying there covered in blood. Which annoys him a bit, because he'd like to be a little bit perverse and like someone else's pain. When a hand grabs his arm he freezes, turning slowly, eyes glacial. He has to get used to people touching him again, but there's nothing telling him he has to start today.

"Let me go."

Puck's hand drops instantly but he doesn't let him walk away, stepping in front of him and blocking him each time he tries to step past.

"I know he did something. He did deserve it… Did he rape you?"

"God Noah! This is none of your business!" He tries to get past him again, feels a little panicky that he can't, but tamps it down. He's at school, and despite Puck's somewhat illustrious history, he's confident he wouldn't hurt him.

"I'm  _making_  it my business."

"You're impossible!" He stomps his foot and ignores the fact he probably looks like a toddler about to throw a tantrum. "No. He didn't. Too close for my liking, but he didn't. And we are each dealing with things in our own way because  _he_  was drugged. By Sebastian. So if anyone deserves a smack in the face, it's him. Not that I'm giving you free reign to go and do that either!"

"Oh."

"Yes!  _Oh_! I think you owe Blaine an apology!"

He pushes past him and this time Puck lets him and he gets maybe three steps before he hears Rachel crying, and he stops and turns. He really doesn't need all this drama in his life right now.

"Oh Kurt! I'm so sorry, I didn't even think of what could happen if anyone overheard and took it the wrong way."

"It's not me you have to apologize to Rachel. It's Blaine. But if you're apologizing about talking about my private life when it's none of your business, then apology  _not_ accepted."

Her mouth gapes open and he stomps down the hallway, back to the others. He grabs his bag and excuses himself. He's had it with school for the day, and it's after school practice for a club he doesn't actually officially belong to, and he sure as hell isn't going back into the choir room. He hops into his car, wondering what the hell has happened to his life and bumps his head against the staring wheel in frustration. When he sits all the way back up Finn is staring at him through the window and he jumps before turning the car on and winding down the window.

" _What_?" He snaps, because he's had it up to the eyeballs right now, and Finn is looking all sorts of hurt and angry, and he really can't deal with this right now.

"So, I guess I don't count as one of the important people huh?" Finn says and Kurt sees red. He will  _not_ feel bad about not sharing what is meant to be private with all and sundry!

"Don't you dare get all self righteous on me Finn Hudson! You could barely stand to see me and Blaine  _kiss_  let alone hear details of some type of sexual assault. And the fact that your head has been ever further up in the clouds than usual that you didn't even think to ask why I wasn't coming to Glee practice, or notice that Blaine and I were no longer joined at the hip."

"Wait, what Puck said was right?"

"I can't do this right now Finn. I'll talk to you later if I have to, but stop acting like I've hurt you someway by deliberately keeping this from you. I'll see you at home."

He winds up the window and reverses the car, leaving Finn standing there looking worried and confused. He drives around aimlessly for a while, wondering if he could maybe fast forward through the rest of senior year. He's gone from wanting a magical unforgettable year to just wanting to survive it and get out. He stops the car eventually, hating the idea of just wasting gas and looks out in surprise. He's stopped outside Dave's house.


	2. Chapter 2

When Kurt Hummel knocks on his door for the second time in less than a week he's pretty sure he's no longer in his universe but a weird alternate one. One where they're friends that just drop in on each other unannounced, not that he has a problem with it, but it doesn't stop it feeling weird.

"Hey Dave…"

"Kurt. Hi. Um, you okay?" He looks a little lost and dejected, nothing like the Kurt Hummel he knows, but he guesses the last two weeks can't have been easy.

"Yeah, I just... do you mind if I come in? I need to talk to someone. Finn's angry at me, the girls are all a bit too pleased and I'm angry at Puck and…"

"Something happen in Glee club?" Dave asks, stepping back and letting Kurt in and walking through to the kitchen before setting about making coffee, like formula it's adding powder to water. And there's Tuesday cake he can offer.

"Uh. No. Well. Yes. I suppose you don't know, but there are two glee clubs now. New Directions and the TroubleTones. I'm kind of in limbo right now. No mans land between the two."

" _Okay_. So, how are there enough people for two glee clubs? I mean, you guys struggled to have enough members for one club. I remember Hudson trying to get people to join all the time in Sophomore year…every year really."

"Well, the TroubleTones is all girls so far. And quite a few of the Cheerios joined. It's an all-girls group, and despite my vocal range, I really don't feel that I belong."

"Wait, why are you in limbo? Shouldn't Blaine be the one in limbo?"

"Ideally yes, but his voice is… well, it's necessary. Especially if we want to win, and right now I don't care who wins, just as long as McKinley does."

"Okay…so. Start at the beginning. Why is Finn angry at you?"

"Finn is annoyed that I didn't tell him what happened. But, it's none of his business, except of course Rachel thought it was, or assumed he already knew… the end result is the same, him being pissed off with me."

"Okay… and Puckerman?"

"He punched Blaine. I think he probably broke his nose."

Kurt's tone of voice makes it clear he's not happy about this turn of events, and this probably explains what the girls are a bit too pleased about, because they're a blood-thirsty lot in his experience. He's a  _little_  pleased to hear it, because he's not going to go round fists swinging, but it's nice to know someone is keeping an eye out for Kurt, even if it  _is_  the easily distracted eye of one Noah Puckerman.

"Was there a lot of blood? Broken noses bleed like… a lot," he says, and taps his own nose. Kurt's mouth make a little 'o' of understanding and nods.

" _A lot_  of blood. It was like someone had stabbed him. I might not like him very much, but I don't need… that. I'm annoyed at Noah because he jumped to conclusions, the  _wrong_  conclusions, and Mercedes and Santana because they think he deserves it, but… well, he doesn't. If anyone deserves it, it's Sebastian. Shame Puck couldn't break his nose."

The last is muttered quietly and under his breath and Dave hides a smile, it's nice to know Kurt can be a little human and he slides a coffee across the bench.

"You want some carrot cake? Claire made it on Tuesday. It's good…"

"Yeah, I think I need some sugar right now. Actually, I better just ring my dad and let him know where I am."

Dave nods and passes him the home phone, cutting two large pieces of cake while Kurt talks. He carries it all through to the lounge, setting things down on the coffee table and takes one of the single chairs. He doesn't know if Kurt's even aware that there's no one else home except him, because he was so worked up before, but he just figures giving him space is probably the wise thing to do. When Kurt enters the room he gestures toward the coffee and cake, he might not be able to cook, but he knows how to be a good host.

Kurt is staring into his coffee mug and then takes a sip. He remembers how Kurt takes his coffee, because it's exactly how he takes his tea, so it's not hard to remember.

"Life sucks sometimes huh?" Kurt mutters, letting out a long sigh.

"Yeah. And apparently it's meant to get easier, but I think it's just a lie just so our parents have someone to look after them when they get old."

Kurt huffs in amusement and swaps his coffee for cake, taking one of the forks and a serviette. He knew Kurt would be that kind of guy, not like him, just picking it up with his fingers and biting a piece off pointy-end first.

"Oh my god, this is delicious… where is Claire? And your brother and sister?"

"Claire's at work, and Lily and Adam are at daycare. They'll be home just after five."

He doesn't know what he expects, but Kurt's eyes widen slightly and he tenses, before relaxing again, giving a short sharp nod.

"She seems pretty cool. Is it weird though, having such a young step-mom? I mean, I have Carole, and she's great, but she actually looks like someone who could pass as my mom…"

Dave laughs and shrugs.

"We… our… she's been my step-mom for three years, and she dated my dad for two years before that. She's… unique, and as I've gotten older I've just kind of relaxed into it. She's more like an older sister to me than a mom. I mean, I'm eighteen, it's not like I need someone to kiss my boo-boos better or tuck me in. But as an older sister, one that kind of teases me, takes the piss, is completely accepting of me coming out… She's awesome. And she loves my dad. It would be a little hypocritical to get all ageist when I'm not exactly going to be winning any award for normal."

"Normal is overrated. Although when you say your step-mom is like a sister I can't help but think of incest."

Dave splutters on his tea and stares.

"Seriously? That's…"

"Oh, I know it's not true of course, but I just… my mind wanders."

"Clearly. So, you guys got any plans for Thanksgiving next week?"

"Very subtle change of subject there David…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want to talk about the possible incestuous undertones of my dad and step-moms relationship… and  _dude_ , I'm not going to be able to get that out of my head. Augh… then there's the whole fact that… ew… I'm  _not_  letting my mind go there."

Kurt laughs at him, and he shakes his head, because he kind of likes the sound.

"So, Thanksgiving? I think Carole's parents are coming to stay, and maybe my grandmother. It's going to make for a full house. What about you guys?"

"We're staying here. Claire went and visited her parents last weekend so she wouldn't have to go visit them for this set of holidays. So, quiet one I think. Hopefully."

They talk about schoolwork, exams and college applications. Nothing too personal, but it's not awkward like he kind of expected it to be, which is a relief. When Claire opens the door he startles, finds it hard to believe that him and Kurt have been sitting and talking for over an hour. He clears the plates and mugs as Kurt says he needs to leave and he shrugs good naturedly. He hadn't even really expected Kurt to last twenty minutes, so the fact that he lasted almost four times that, and managed to talk means that maybe his idea of them being friends isn't so far fetched afterall.

* * *

When he gets home Finn is waiting, arms crossed and eyebrows drawn down in a disapproving frown. Kurt can't help but roll his eyes at the over dramatized actions.

" _What_  Finn?"

"Where have you been?"

"I was visiting a friend. Dad knew where I was…"

"Were you visiting Dave?" Carole asks, and Kurt winces. The last thing he needs right now is Finn going over the top about something else which is none of his business.

"Who's Dave?" Right on cue.  _Brilliant_.

"David Karofsky," Carole supplies, and he knows she's only trying to be helpful but it's anything but. Finn looks at him in confusion.

"Why would you visit Karofsky?"

"Dave and I… Dave helped me get home on the night Blaine assaulted me. He took care of Blaine as well, didn't go round smashing him in the face like some people. He let  _me_  decide how to deal with it."

"What, so even Karofsky knows before me?"

"God Finn! This  _isn't_  a popularity contest! Dave was there and he helped me when I couldn't help myself. I don't need you making me feel worse about any of this. Just… don't talk to me. Carole, can you… explain things to him? I'm going to be in my room."

"My  _mom_  knows?"

"Augh!" Kurt exclaims and he knows it might seem childish, but he stomps up the stairs to his room.


	3. Chapter 3

When he sees Blaine on Monday he sighs. He's got the same little thing that Rachel had when she broke her nose and he feels another spike of anger at Puck. Blaine looks… for a lack of a better word,  _broken_ , like the weight of the world's problems are on his shoulders and he doesn't like seeing him like that, because it's the antithesis of the Blaine he knew and loved, and he knows he's going to have to make some sort of gesture. Blaine is clearly trying to avoid him, which is all part of the plan, except he needs to change that. Starting now. He steps in front of him, halting his progress away.

"How's your nose?"

"Ah. Better. But it's uh… broken." His voice does sound a bit nasally, and if Puck has ruined Blaine's voice he'll forgo his  _violence is not a last resort, it's not a solution to anything_  rule and do something.

"Puck's an idiot. You didn't deserve that."

" _What_? Yes I did."

"No, Blaine.  _You_   _didn't_."

They stare at each other, and god he wishes things were different, could be different, but he needs to make the best of this situation that they're in, because it's not like Blaine can reach out to him what with his strict instructions that they're not going to be friends. And they're not. But he misses Glee Club, and despite the fucked up situation, Blaine is also a victim, although he doubts very much that Blaine views it that way.

"I'm sorry you know. More than I can ever express…"

"I know. I know you are. You think I'd even be talking to you if I didn't know that? Just… can we not talk about it right now?"

"Sure. Sorry," Blaine says, wincing when he says sorry again.

"So, did Rachel apologize for blabbing?"

"Yeah. She's been carrying my books around like it's my arms that are broken instead of my nose…"

"That's Rachel for you. How about Puck?"

"He… has kind of avoided me. I think he expects me to retaliate or something…"

The idea of Blaine retaliating is amusing to say the least, because Blaine would never intentionally hurt a fly, but if Puck is running scared then Kurt will let him. Actually, he imagines that Puck is probably more afraid of him right now because he told him he had to apologize and it's very apparent that he hasn't. Although his opportunities have been lacking given Blaine's absence from school on Friday.

That small fact hadn't stopped Rachel of course. She'd driven out to sing him a combined apology and get-well song to show Kurt and Blaine that she really meant her apology. That and it'd given her an opportunity to sing, which she never passes up, and to have a nosey around Blaine's home. He knows all this because she'd come around directly afterwards to tell him, and he'd been  _enjoying_  his Saturday afternoon up until then. The bell ringing jolts him back to the hallway and he nods farewell.

"I'll see you in Glee Club later…"

It's been a week since he saw Kurt, and he kind of wonders whether he should ring him up, or send him a text or something, because if they're meant to be friends then it's meant to be a two-way street, and Kurt's visited him twice. Sure it was to kind of rant and complain about things the last time, but that's what friends do. At least, that's what  _his_  friends do. Except for Honey. She's just resorted to sighing and patting his arm each time she sees him, and Nathan snickers every single time. Terence has started joining him and Nathan in their lunchtime game of table leap-frog, and it's kind of nice to have another guy to discuss sports with, but he makes a conscious effort to ensure the conversation at the table isn't unduly affected by his presence. They all seem to be used to him by now though, although Terence adds another layer once he beats Dave, by complete fluke, at one of the logic problems, he'd been welcomed with open arms.

So that brings him to be standing outside Kurt's house, holding a cake that Claire had insisted on him bringing with him, which he'd been tempted to leave in the car, except he  _knows_  she'll ask Kurt whether he liked it next time she sees him. Or worse, ask him, and he's crap at lying when asked a direct question. He rings the bell and wonders who will answer, because it's Thanksgiving, and why he thought visiting Kurt would be a good idea, he knows he has family visiting. He's tempted to turn around and leave, he can tell Claire there was no-one home…

"Dave! Oh my god! Great. Come in…"

He's  _never_  heard Kurt so happy to see him before, and he kind of wants to look behind himself to ensure there isn't another guy named Dave standing there but instead thrusts out the cake.

"I brought cake. From Claire. Uh. Happy Thanksgiving?"

"Food! Maybe I can sneak it past them…"

"I. What?" He'd kind of expected to hear a complaint about having already eaten too much. "Um, I just thought I'd come round and see how you were going. I mean… I haven't heard from you, so I figured everything was okay…"

"Come in. Maybe with an actual guest the  _family_  will stop arguing. And I'm sorry, I always seem to visit you when I need to vent. And now I need to vent again… oh god, I'm a terrible person."

He follows Kurt into the house but he really has no idea what Kurt is talking about. It's kind of par for the course when it comes to Kurt though, because sometimes he doesn't  _hear_  what Kurt is saying, just knows that he's talking, that his lips are moving. Except he forces himself to pay attention to what he figures is hopefully the key point.

"You're not a terrible person. Human. Like everyone else."

"Tell that to the grumpy grannies in there… I knew it wasn't a good idea. I mean, my poor dad.  _Both_  his mother-in-laws visiting for the holidays? He's probably going to have another heart attack or something."

"Kurt… relax dude, or  _you'll_  have a heart attack."

He watches as Kurt visibly takes a deep breath it and slowly exhales and he can see him relax, and it's kind of flattering that Kurt will listen to him when they've only really been 'friends' for two weeks.

"Right. Can I offer you a drink? We have lots of options…"

"Um, water's fine. Thanks."

He only says it to give Kurt something to do, and he follows Kurt through to the kitchen, and he sees why Kurt was so happy to see him. Two women, who he assumes are the afore-mentioned grumpy-grannies, are arguing over the best type of sugar to use for something. He's not sure what, but Kurt seems to visibly tense again as he lays the cake down on a cleared part of the bench.

"David, let me introduce you to Doria and Gloria. Finn and my maternal grandmother's respectively. Doria, Grandma, this is my friend Dave…"

They instantly stop bickering and turn to him, and he kind of stares at Kurt over the shoulder of his grandmother as the fiercely regal looking woman gives him a hug.

"Are you any good in the kitchen?" Doria asks, and he shakes his head, stepping away from Kurt's grandmother.

"I burn water…" he offers, and hopes this gets him out of whatever plan they might be plotting and they both look disgusted.

"Get out then. Kurt, you better go too. Entertain your guest!"

Kurt grabs the cake with both hands and jerks his head, indicating for him to follow. In the living room Finn is nowhere to be seen, and Kurt's dad and Mrs Hudson are sitting with an elderly gentleman and they're all drinking what looks like wine.

"I have cake! Dave has maybe saved you all from becoming drunken fools before dinner. And dying of possible starvation."

He gets greetings and introductions to Mrs Hudson's dad, gets told to call them Burt, Carole and Edward and he's pretty sure the only name he'll manage is Carole, because he keeps slipping up and calling her Mrs Hudson when she's now Mrs Hummel and she's already asked him before to call her Carole. He can't ever imagine calling Burt Hummel anything but Mr Hummel, but it's nice to have been extended the offer.

"Uh… have you guys not eaten?" he asks, because it's three in the afternoon, he'd kind of thought that he'd maybe interrupting their lunch, but apparently not, especially with the way they're all staring at the cake that Kurt has set on the coffee table and is unsnapping from the container.

"No. We haven't been  _allowed_  to eat since breakfast. At seven. Because apparently we'll ruin our appetites. Finn has made a mercy dash to Rachel's, because apparently vegan food is better than no food, while we've been sitting here being taunted by the smell of cooking food and not being allowed to eat any of it. Top that off with the hangriness we're all experiencing, your arrival, with food no less, is very well timed…"

"Uh. Okay. Hangriness?"

"What type of cake is it?" Burt asks, and he knows this at least.

"It's sticky date with walnut and maple…" Dave replies and watches as pieces are cut off with a knife Kurt has clearly smuggled out of the kitchen.

"Hangry. When you're so hungry you become angry. Anyway, have you already eaten?"

"Yeah, I'm stuffed. We had lunch early so we can watch the games in relative peace…"

Burt and Edward both moan and make what he can only describe as whimpering sounds.

"They haven't been allowed to have the TV on. No games. Nothing," Kurt provides, and he's taking off dainty pieces of cake off his slice and popping them into his mouth. Burt, Edward and Carole have all taken descent sized slices and he waves away the offer of cake.

"But… that's the whole point of Thanksgiving…"

"I know!" Burt and Edward say simultaneously and Carole rolls her eyes.

"Yes well, they're a tour de force, and not one I'm going to argue with."

"Me either…" Carole says, swirling wine and taking another sip.

It's kind of nice to know his family doesn't have the market cornered on slightly crazy, and if he knew them better he'd offer for them to sneak out and come eat leftovers and watch the games at his place. It's not like they don't have the room. As long as the twins aren't out and about.

"Call me when we're allowed to eat. Dave and I are going to go and talk…"

Burt looks up at that, his eyes flicking between the two of them, as if he's about to say something but then decides against it and just nods instead.


	4. Chapter 4

He doesn't close the door to his bedroom, because he doesn't want to, but also because his dad doesn't need to say the words anymore. Although just the idea that he's okay being alone with Dave in his bedroom makes him feel a bit better, stronger, like he isn't completely and irreversibly screwed up. He sits at his desk chair and watches as Dave looks around his room, and he's moved on from jewel-colored gauzy fabrics to… well, jewel-colored velvets, just accessories like cushions and two throw rugs, but he likes the soft feel of them.

"You wanted to talk?" Dave asks, sitting on the trunk at the end of his bed.

"Yes. No. I mean, I feel like all I do is talk at you and complain about how horrible my life is…"

"Uh, you're kind of allowed to do that. I mean, the last couple of weeks haven't exactly been a ride in the park for you. Plus I don't mind listening."

He sighs, because he knows Dave is probably telling the truth, but it doesn't stop him feeling like the whole thing is quite one-sided, despite Dave's assurances he doesn't mind listening.

"Fine, but once I'm done you're going to complain to me about at least three things… okay?" Dave looks amused but agrees. "They're angry at me. They think I've forgiven and forgotten."

"First off, who're  _they_?"

"Mercedes and Santana."

"Okay. And have you? Forgiven him?"

"No!"

"Wow. No need to snap okay. Simple question."

"Why do people just assume I'm going to forgive him?"

"Uh, well, you're a pretty forgiving person…I mean, you forgave me."

He snorts, because he can't even draw a comparison right now between what Blaine has done and what Dave did.

"If I'd asked you. No.  _Begged you_  to stop bullying me, would you have?"

He watches as Dave swallows a couple of times and he feels bad for bringing it all up again when he knows Dave has made such a concerted effort to change and _not_  be that person any more.

"Fuck Kurt… you…" He realizes his error then, that he'd mentioned begging Blaine to stop. Dave probably didn't need to know that detail on top of everything else he's heard about that night, which is pretty much everything. On top of reminding Dave what he used to be like. Yeah. He's obviously a gem of a friend. He sighs which seems to prompt Dave into speech.

"I… I don't know. Honestly I don't think it would have made any difference, although… I would have felt even more shitty than I did anyway."

"Well, that makes two of us at least. Anyway, you were easy to forgive by comparison. Everything you did was fuelled by fear."

"Yeah, doesn't excuse it though."

"You apologized. Several times. You aren't that person anymore. And Carmel obviously agrees with you…"

"Thanks for that by the way."

"What?"

"Forgiving me. I… needed it. To, this is going to sound so cheesy, damn therapy, but I needed to know you forgave me so I could forgive myself…"

"Oh. You've had therapy?"

"Just a couple of sessions, Carmel High have a really good one. Anyway, I needed to have that from you. So, yeah, thanks."

"I… you're welcome? I think?" He pauses. "Do you think Blaine will be the same?"

"Huh?"

"Do you think he'll need my forgiveness before he can move on?"

"I don't know. Maybe? We're not the same person. Do you need to give it to him before  _you_  can move on?"

He stares, because he hadn't thought of it that way.

"Maybe?"

"Look, Kurt, you're the one that has to live with yourself. If you want to forgive him, then that's your choice. It's not up to Mercedes or Santana to do it for you. And even if you do forgive him, well, it won't make it suddenly all better. What makes them think you forgave him anyway?"

"I rejoined Glee Club."

"Wait, so you going back to a club that you love, that you live and breath for, is somehow forgiving Blaine?"

"Well, I did talk to him and ask him about his nose. Puck broke it."

"Yeah. You told me…"

"Well I would also look terrible in a little black dress…" He says it to break the mood, and Dave looks up from studying his hand to stare at him bug eyed and he laughs at the expression. It feels good. "They had a mini competition between the two Glee Clubs. Drama drama…"

"Wow… and to think I used to wish my life were more interesting…"

"Yes, your turn now. Tell me. Three things you want to complain about. Go."

"What? Right now? I don't get time to think about it?"

"Well you just started. You think your life is boring."

"No, I  _used to_  think my life could be more interesting. Not anymore. I like my life as it is. In fact, I'd be happy for it to be less interesting."

He laughs, but it sounds like Dave really means it, that he likes his life as it is. He's happy about it, for Dave's sake, and he wants to get back to that place himself. Wholly there all the time.

"Gah! That's so boring! Come on, there must be something…"

"Okay, things that really bug me… uh, being peed on by babies. Any bodily fluid from a baby is kind of gross actually. They're cute, but I could happily skip over that part."

"I would have to agree, baby by products are undesirable…"

"Secondly… well, it's having to hide my sexuality. Not that I'm… I don't know, obvious, but everyone just assumes. And fucking Santana…"

"Wait, what did she do?"

"You know how you sent her round –"

"Uh! There was no sending around of anyone by me! If you think I can control Santana Lopez then you are seriously misguided."

"Well whatever, when she came round I had friends around and… well, she made it obvious to everyone there that I am apparently straight –"

"Wait! Did she kiss you?"

"What? No! She just said I'd transferred because I was so heartbroken when we broke up and I couldn't handle seeing her everyday or something…"

He starts laughing and Dave rolls his eyes, muttering under his breath something he doesn't catch.

"I'm sorry, but that's kind of funny…"

"Yeah, laugh it up. I bet you haven't had the problem of telling people you're gay and them notbelieving you…"

He stops laughing immediately and looks at him.

"Seriously?"

"Yep. And then Santana comes in and confirms that I am apparently not gay at all, but just not over my stunning ex-girlfriend, meaning I have to continue to put up with Honey patting my arm and looking sad…"

"You know someone called Honey?"

"Yeah. I haven't actually been able to use her name to her face yet, because… awkward."

"Hmm. There's a girl in the TroubleTones called Sugar… oh god. Sugar Pie… Honey Bunch… I can't help myself…" he hums the rest of the tune and Dave snorts. "It can be their theme song…"

"Only if she believe you're straight and wants to date you…"

"Pfft. I don't think anyone has ever believed I'm straight. Except maybe Brittany. For a week."

Dave chuckles again, and it feels good, this easy conversation they have going, a lot like last week, and he supposes this is what guy talk is. Or gay guy talk. He's not sure if there's a distinction. With the girls he feels comfortable talking about fashion, singing and boys. With the guys, the guys like Finn and Puck, he's usually sidelined except when they're apparently trying to misguidedly defend his honor, and he's always careful to not make them too uncomfortable, not since his whole crush on Finn  _thing_  and the trip to Dalton. He hates that he has to tone himself down a bit when he's around them, but has resigned himself to it. With Dave though he feels like he can say anything. Won't be judged or scoffed at. It's a nice feeling. Of course, he doesn't expect Dave to be up with fashion or musicals, but they've yet to have an awkward moment of silence.

"I didn't realize that was bugging me so much. I mean… she's annoying, but harmless. I've talked to Nate about her. He just thinks it's funny."

"Nate?"

"Yeah, he's… a friend. The one I came out to. He's cool. I think you'd like him. He's from New York."

"I don't think someone's geographical location makes them more palatable…"  
"Ha ha. I meant that he's into shows and shit. He says he used to go all the time, loved the atmosphere."

"What's he doing in Lima?"

"Uh… that's kind of private. Sorry. I'd tell you, but I don't know how he'd be about a complete stranger knowing…"

"No, of course. That's fine," and it is, because it probably means Dave isn't telling anyone else what happened to him. "I understand. I'm glad you have a friend like that. Do you ever miss Azimio?"

"Yeah. Course."

"Have you ever thought about telling him?"

Dave snorts and shrugs.

"All the time, but I have no idea how he would react…"

"You're not talking right now right?"

"Nope."

"Well, if you told him and he didn't want to talk to you… you wouldn't exactly be any worse off…" he hedges, although even he knows it's not as simple as that. Lima isn't  _that_  big, and Azimio could easily have the news across town in hours if he was so inclined. He doesn't know him well enough to make that call, and it's Dave's choice.

"He could  _hate me_  and not talk to me…"

"Isn't he pretty pissed off with you anyway?"

"Yeah," Dave sighs, looking dejected, and he suddenly feels terrible for making Dave depressed, making him bring up aspects of his life to complain about solely so he could not feel like he's monopolizing the market on moaning.

"Well, you could try talking to him. You don't have to tell him. Completely up to you, but… things are usually never as bad as you imagine them."

"I guess."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring you down to my level. You were pretty happy when you arrived. You're never going to come around again…"

"That's a little melodramatic don't you think?"

"Me? Melodramatic? I think you've forgotten who you're talking to Dave…"

"Clearly. My eyes must be deceiving me. Obviously not melodramatic in the least," Dave says, grinning, lowering his head and he smiles. Yeah, he likes this.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you were unaware, Nate is a nickname for Nathan. Dave uses both, like how he gets called David and Dave, he tends to shorten people's names sometimes.

He feels like his life has become a neat Venn diagram and the circle that has Kurt's name in it has gotten bigger and now intersects pretty much every other aspect of his life. Except school, although Kurt knows a fair bit now about his school life, but no one really knows about Kurt. Except Nathan. Nathan has fast become… a best friend. A different one from what he's ever had before though. Nathan, who still has panic attacks occasionally and has moments of social anxiety. He's not sure why he's such a soothing presence, but he is.

When Nate first told him that he felt safe with Dave he'd almost choked on his lunch. They'd been sitting in his car, turned on for the purpose of heating the small space, and Nathan had turned to him and frowned. It had prompted him to explain his past in more detail. The bullying. Kurt. The kiss. His super creepy behavior. Nathan had listened, silently, and then asked a few pointed questions.  _Did he mean it? How far would he have gone? Did he apologize? Does he have any photos wearing the Bullywhips uniform?_

He'd answered as truthfully as possible, which had led to Nathan asking more about Kurt and he'd hesitantly said they were friends now. Like not telling Kurt about Nathan's personal shit, he doesn't share Kurt's personal shit with him, and the final outcome of the conversation is that if Kurt can get over it and forgive him, then he's definitely not going to hold his past against him. So they hang out, and sometimes he's his shadow, quiet and silent, almost hiding behind him, and other days they're side-by-side, bumping shoulders and making stupid jokes. Terence has continued joining them, which has been good, because it means less sideways looks, and also Nathan has shared his condition, which Terence had accepted with a quiet nod.

Walking down the hallway they kind of look like the three Musketeers, except Nate is lean and lanky and occasionally reminds him of a puppy before it's grown into its oversize paws. Terence is built, taller than him, solid muscle with no inch of fat on him that he's seen and with the silent act he has going on most of the time he comes across as pretty reserved. It nice though to walk down the hallway and have people step out of his way because they want to, not because of fear. It's a nice feeling.

Another thing he's noticed is that he likes physical contact. Not that he's an overly touchy feely guy, but he's used to the semi-gentle shoulder checks, the fist bumps, the slaps on the back which just comes with the territory of being in a sports team. He gets them from pretty much all the guys, but he has a whole new level of appreciation for Nathan who doesn't shy away from him or physical contact. They fist bump and shoulder check, and when walking side-by-side he doesn't jump away if their hips accidentally brush. It's comforting, knowing he can have a normal friendship with a straight guy who knows he's gay, although the more he hears about Nate's life previously in New York he expects that's got more to do with it.

When he pulls into the drive on Tuesday after school the hairs on the back of his neck prickle and he feels as if someone is watching him, but a quick glance up and down the street provides nothing and he frowns. This week's cake smells like lemon. He sighs, because he really wishes he could cook. Bake. Anything that doesn't involve the smoke detector going off. Kurt's already come around once solely to see Claire and get her recipe for the maple and walnut cake. He came last Wednesday as well, and it reminds him of Az, who always used to come on Tuesdays solely to sweet talk Claire into giving him cake. She always obliged of course, and Kurt seems to have slipped into the slot, except they swap recipes and discuss the various ways to line a tin. It's weird.

He enters the kitchen and sure enough, three cakes sit on the bench, one more than usual and he frowns. He and his dad don't eat  _that much_  cake.

"Hey Claire…"

"Hey. How was school?"

"Fine. Normal. For Carmel. Uh… are we expecting guests?" He asks, pointing to the third cake.

"Oh, no. I made one for Kurt. Well, his family. It's a low-fat citrus cake that he's been dying to try but hasn't had the time. He's coming around tomorrow right?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess."

"Maybe I could drop it off tonight?"

"I guess?"

"Well, would he be home? I don't just want to turn up at a random house where I don't know anyone…"

"I don't know. Seriously. We aren't like, best friends or anything…"

"Oh Dave… I know. I'm sorry, I –"

The doorbell interrupts them and she pats his arm as she walks past and he pours himself a glass of water, and something is up, because Claire is not usually this… inattentive. He can hear her talking to whoever is at the door, telling them to come in. He hears the other voice clearer now and he knows it's Az before he sees him, and he swallows, because he's suddenly nervous. So nervous he's broken into a cold sweat, in his own house.

They meet each other's eyes, silent, and Claire is exclaiming about how he hasn't been around in a long time, and  _shit_ , Az looks pissed. Claire stops talking and looks between the two of them before declaring that she's off to pick up the twins from daycare. Early. He swallows, kind of wishing she wasn't leaving, although he's pretty sure Az wouldn't actually punch him he doesn't really want to risk it.

"Uh, cake?"

"Yeah, go ahead, I need some sweetening up."

Az watches him as he cuts a slice, plates it up and slides it across the bench to him. He pours him a glass of milk and sets it beside him, and he waits, too nervous to eat anything himself. When he's finished he slides the empty plate away and studies him over the rim of his glass.

"So, want to tell me why you've spoken to  _Hummel_  since leaving McKinley, but you haven't even bothered to say anything to me?"

"Uh…How do you know that I… talked to Hummel?" It feels weird in his mouth now, calling Kurt that after calling him Kurt for so long.

"Because Hummel came and told me you  _missed me_ , like he knows you now or something…"

"Uh…" He has no idea what to say to that, because anything he says is only going to make Az more pissed off, and he gets it, because he'd be pissed off too, but he doesn't know how to undo this, how to make it right between them.

"You transfer schools without telling me, you shut me out all summer, like you were in hibernation or something but in the wrong fucking season, then you're never on Xbox anymore, or Facebook, and you ignore my texts and then  _Hummel_  comes and tells me you  _miss me_. Could have fooled me man, could have fooled me…"

He lets Az rant, because he's  _good_  at ranting, far better than him, and it gives him a couple of minutes to try and come up with something. Damn Kurt. He guesses he was trying to be helpful, but he really doesn't know if he can do this right now, and he has no idea where to start. He hasn't had months to think it out and strategize, but he  _has_  thought about what he would say.

"I'm… sorry. I just…"

"Look man, talk to me okay? I've waited like… ages, for you to talk, and I figured I'd have to move Mohammad to you, because you're being all quiet like the mountain, but the silent act is kind of boring and I've kind of given up on you talking to me yourself, so here I am. Now talk."

He stares at the kitchen bench for several long minutes that seem to drag on forever, and he looks up to find Az watching him, waiting.

"I'm gay."

He says the words so quietly he half expects Az to ask him to repeat them, but he doesn't. Instead he seems to be studying the ceiling, looking around as if waiting for something else to happen and he glances up and around at the ceiling quickly.

"Look at that, the world didn't end and the roof didn't fall on your head… was that so bad?"

"I… you knew?"

"I… yeah. I  _knew_. I mean, Hummel and his boyfriend were yelling at you and it wasn't exactly the quietest of conversations…"

He stares, because  _fuck_ , there are actually a couple of times that Kurt and Blaine yelled at him when he thinks about it, but…

"When?"

"Dude…  _ages_  ago. Like, a year?"

"The first time then…"

"They yelled at you more than once huh?"

"Yeah," he sighs. "I deserved it. And more."

"Yep. Probably. Gimme another piece of cake, I'm still pissed off at you."

"I…" he starts, but stops, cuts another piece of cake and puts it on his plate.

"You're kind of screwed up man."

"I  _was_  kind of screwed up. I'm actually figuring things out now…"

"And you figured out you're gay?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Right then…" Az says, and starts on his second piece of cake.

"You're a lot calmer about this than I thought you would be…"

"I've had time to work through my issues. I mean, I watched you like a hawk watches a baby rabbit and you did nothing, said nothing, that made me think of you any differently, except be an even bigger dick to Hummel, but I figured you were working through your own issues… but you never said anything to me. I kind of got over the gay bit, but I'm  _still_  pissed you never told me. That  _Hummel_  knew before me."

"Yeah well, that wasn't exactly planned…"

Az looks at him and nods once, sharply, and it feels strange, to be called out on his bullshit of over a year ago.

"So what, you guys are friends now?"

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"I'm going to have to apologize to him aren't I…"

"Only if you mean it. He can spot bullshit a mile away."

"So, you guys been hanging out since the start of summer –"

"What? No… just the last couple of weeks."

"Huh. So he didn't convince you to change schools?"

"No. Up until a couple of weeks ago we hadn't even seen each other since… before summer. Months."

"Oh. That makes me feel better, that I wasn't dumped for a homo."

"Az…"

"What?"

"Can you… not use that word? Or fag?"

"Seriously?" Dave nods and Az lets out a long breath. "Fine. I'll try. Promise."

"Thanks."

"Still pissed off with you though you fucker."

"Fair enough. How's school for you?"

"Boring shit. I mean, Beiste is awesome, but she runs us  _hard_. And if she sees or hears about anyone bullying then you're benched."

"That's awesome…"

"Yeah, except the puckheads don't have the same rule, so they think they rule, which is of course stupid shit."

"I'm a puckhead again…"

"What?"

"I'm playing hockey and football at Carmel…"

"You join their glee club too?" Az asks, his voice high and a little incensed, and he probably feels like Dave's a traitor right now but he can't find it in himself to care. He kind of has his old best friend back and he laughs and shakes his head. He can't explain his feelings about glee clubs to himself, let alone a third party, but he isn't joining any of them, or becoming friendly with them.

"Good. My body can only handle so many shocks before it kicks the bucket you know…"

"Sure. So…"

There's an awkward quiet pause between them and he feels bad, because they used to be best friends, and now he just feels stupid for thinking the worst.

"Yeah. So. You're the one that made this awkward by the way. If you'd just told me I could have freaked out and then everything could have gone back to normal. You're a dumbass."

"Look, I only told my dad a few weeks ago…"

"Shit. Really?"

"Yeah. I'm not exactly telling everyone. How do you think that would go down?"

"True… so who  _does_  know?"

"Dad. Claire. Kurt. Santana. Blaine I suppose, and Nathan."

"Hold up, whose Nathan?"

"A friend at Carmel…"

"Dude, okay, we can go back there, but how the hell does Lopez know? Wait, does she have that sixth sense where she can smell gay people out?"

"That doesn't exist Az, she's just… observant."

"Right. Now we can talk about your life at Carmel…"


	6. Chapter 6

He doesn't know why Azimio sat with them at lunchtime today, but it had been a slightly scary experience. They'd all sat there in silence, the others out of fear, but he'd been curious. He knew he was likely to blame, but it's not like he and Azimio can strike up a conversation about Dave without everyone wanting to shake some sense into him. He rings the bell and waits for Dave to answer.

"Hey…"

"Hi. So… I have a bone to pick with you," he states, stepping past Dave and into the house, and it's kind of nice to have a guy friend whose house he's comfortable to do that in.

"I… okay?" Dave replies, losing the door behind him and he pauses, hearing the sound of babbling coming from the living room, where Dave is heading for. He has no complaints, he's kind of become entranced by the twins. He knows it's probably the novelty factor, because he's never really been interested in babies before, but conversation seems to flow easily and he likes seeing Dave interact with them. The twins are in imprisoned in a playpen in the middle of the room and the rest of the room looks like a tornado has whipped through it.

"Ah… problem?"

"Uh, can't find the remote. One of the kids hid it."

"Oh. Well. That sounds like a challenge. We can talk while we look."

He watches as Dave takes off the cushions off the sofa, runs a hand along all the crevices and wonders where he can start looking.

"So, you wanted to, uh, pick a bone?" Dave asks, pulling out a bunch of coins, some balled up dust and a brightly colored blue plastic block from the corner of the sofa.

"Yes. I do. Why would Azimio have lunch with us today? Why would he  _want_  to?"

"He… seriously?"

He nods, and decides that the floor is probably a better place to start looking than his eye level. If he were a baby where would he hide a remote? He starts by running a hand beneath the nearest chair.

"So, you have any idea  _why_  he might suddenly decide to sit with the glee club for lunch? Apart the amusing side effect of scaring everyone into silence?"

"Are you guys one club again?"

"No, but today was a day of split lunch period so we band together. Safety in numbers. Which is why they were so freaked out that Azimio sat with us. I don't know if any of them actually ate anything."

"Huh. That's kind of funny. He's… I don't know. Taking a leaf out of my book?"

"And what book would that be?"

"At Carmel I rotate who I sit with at lunchtime," he shrugs. "I started it right at the beginning of school, math geeks, drama kids, football team, hockey team, cheerleaders…"

He stares. He can't help it. The idea sounds so foreign and the fact that it's  _Dave_  doing it makes it sound even stranger.

"Really? You don't get hassled for it?"

"I'm the new kid. I'm allowed a certain degree of weird. Plus now it's something I've always done, and I'm on the football and hockey teams so no, no-one gives me shit."

"Really?"

"Really. I mean, they've asked questions about why, and I've kind of explained that I have some issues and getting to know the different social groups helps me… deal with those issues."

"Advice from the therapist?"

"No. Just something I thought I could do. It's nice, I kind of have friends in every social group."

"Including Vocal Adrenaline?"

"Except them."

"What, still too low on the social ladder?"

"At Carmel? Vocal Adrenaline? You're kidding right?" Okay, so it was a bitchy comment to make, but he feels a little stung at the idea of Dave making friends with all the different strata of social levels at his new school. "Anyway, I don't sit with them. For a couple of reasons, one, they're all crazy. Like seriously obsessed. And secondly… it feels, I don't know, weird. They compete against McKinley and I'd support you guys over them, and making friends with them would mess that up. They're way too cliquey anyway. I'd probably get stabbed with multiple forks if I ever sat down at the same table as them."

"You'd support New Directions over Vocal Adrenaline? Wait, you compete against McKinley with football and hockey though right?" He can't help feel a little thrill that

"Yeah. But I'm part of the team competing. I want to win. Anyway, that's what I do, and one of my teammates has started joining me, and I was telling Az last night. Which brings me to a point, you shouldn't have interfered."

"Me? Interfere? Never…" but he hides a smile and hears Dave snort in amusement. "So, how did it go? You guys friends again?"

"Yeah. Yeah we are. I have to let him beat me at Call of Duty and all other games he might get us to play in the foreseeable future, but we're cool. So thanks. Even though you shouldn't have…"

He shrugs, compared to some of the things he's done recently approaching Azimio Adams was a small thing. Seeing him wander around the hallways alone always makes him feels a little twinge that Dave is no longer at McKinley, even though he knows Dave is much happier and calmer at Carmel. He looks up to see Dave lowering one side of the sofa back to the ground and he swallows as he notes the flex of muscles in Dave's arms and across his shoulders. He shakes his head and goes back to peering underneath the furniture.

"So, did you tell him?"

"Tell him what?" Dave asks, distracted as he peers around the room, sparing a quick glance at Lily and Adam who are engrossed in some garishly colored toy.

"That you're gay…"

"Oh, that, yeah… he already knew. He heard you and Blaine confront me on the stairwell that first time."

He stops what he's doing; looks up to Dave again to see him continuing with the search and  _god_  he hadn't ever thought about the possible implications if someone had heard them. What if someone random had heard? At the same time he's pondering how badly it could have gone the ease at which Dave is talking about it all is heart warming.

"That wasn't one of my smartest moments."

"Hmm? Oh. Pfft. Like what, I'm an Einstein? I think in ten years we can look back and just put all our mutual acts down to stupidity. Well, I hope we can. I already view what I was like at McKinley as… fear and stupidity and… yeah well."

He shrugs again and he supposes that's what Dave is doing now at Carmel, setting things right, so he can look back in ten years and have no regrets. He lets out a little sigh, because he had thought this year was going to be perfect…

**LSY**

He's not sure what seems to have gotten Kurt down, but he's not going to pry. Kurt will talk if and when he wants to. He's learnt that much at least. He's amused by the fact that Az seems to think that he can just start sitting with the glee club. He's pretty sure that's going to blow up in his face sooner rather than later, but he likes knowing that there's another person kind of keeping an eye on Kurt. Not that the guys in glee aren't doing an admirable job, Blaine's broken nose not-withstanding, but Az is deliberate. He'd be sure of facts before going in anywhere guns blazing. He's pretty sure he and Kurt would get on alright if they ever manage to find some common ground. The fact that he'd admitted yesterday that he kind of finds Kurt a little intimidating is not something he'll be sharing with Kurt.

"So, who did you have lunch with today?"

"Math geeks. I feel like when I find this remote I need to put a homing beacon on it or something."

"Does this happen often?"

"Everyday, but usually it's in a really obvious place. Covered in drool with buttons pushed down so that it doesn't even work half the time, but yeah… all the time."

"You know you could just press the buttons on the TV itself right."

"Haha. Yes. I know. But I kind of freak out that they might rip off the little rubber button things and eat them, even though I know it's one sheet of rubber, I just… worry. They're on my watch right now, you know?"

Kurt nods, smiles and he smiles back. Normally he doesn't have to look after them very much at all, but Claire has made a doctors appointment at his dad's insistence because of her slightly weird behavior the last couple of days, and he's glad he hadn't been imagining it.

"Are you planning on moving away for college or anything?"

"Well, it's not like Lima is overflowing with opportunities, but I haven't really figured out what I want to do exactly so I've applied to lots of places and hope that I get some choice in the matter."

He won't say it out loud, but he doesn't want to be too far away from Lima. He doesn't like the idea of Lily and Adam growing up and not knowing him, having him be treated like a stranger every time he comes back for the holidays.

"I've kind of got my heart set on one place. I should probably apply to more than one though…"

"Uh, yeah. I mean, what if you change your mind between now and then?"

"I…don't think I'll change my mind about what I want to do, but you're right, I should give myself more options. More avenues to get out of here."

The sudden blaring of the TV startles them both to stare at the sudden picture on the screen and then he looks to the playpen where Adam is waving the remote and looking decidedly pleased with himself and he sighs, certain that he's being laughed at.

"You didn't look in the playpen first?" Kurt asks.

"No, I didn't. Right. Well. You want a piece of cake? Claire made three yesterday, and one was meant to be for you but with Az here… well, he should be glad it was a low-fat thing cause he ate almost an entire one himself."

"Of course. Claire's cakes are becoming a thing of my daydreams. She's an amazing baker."

"Yeah, she's good. She gave up trying to teach me though. She makes everything from scratch. I need to learn how to make stuff before I move out of home though, otherwise I'm going to starve."

"Well, we couldn't have that. Just make sure you install some smoke alarms wherever you live…"

"One day I'll find something you're bad at and mock you for it, just so you know."

"Good luck. I'm brilliant at everything I try. It's a gift."

"So humble with it too…" Dave says drily and the sound of Kurt's laugh makes him smile.


	7. Chapter 7

When he heads to Dave's again the following Tuesday he's determined to not miss out on cake. Dave has been a bit distant the last week and he's not  _worried_. Well, okay, he is a bit. He's also worried about Claire, who had insisted he take a piece of cake home for each of his family members last week. That was fine, but then half an hour later she'd insisted again and then looked like she was going to cry when he'd told her she'd already given him cake. Dave had seemed concerned as well, although he'd just shrugged when Kurt had given him a questioning look.

Now though, he doesn't even have to knock and the door is flying open and Claire greets him with a wide smile, finger at her lips, waving him inside silently and he bites his lip in amusement. She feels like his secret conspirator and he wonders what fascinating thing he's going to discover this time. She gestures wildly with her hand toward his pants and doesn't get it until she whispers  _'phone, get your camera…'_  And  _oh_ , this is going to be fun.

He follows her, and he can hear animal noises from the lounge, what he  _thinks_  might be the roar of a lion and maybe a horse. Claire stops them just around the corner and they have a clear view of the lounge and she double over in laughter again. It's amusing, but not  _that_  funny. Although, if anyone at McKinley could see Azimio Adams being ridden around then he doubts they'd run scared of him. The same could be said of Dave, who is on his back, Adam lying stomach-down on his shins and bouncing him up and down to the sound of delighted giggles. He snaps a few pictures just for the sake of it, he can always use it to blackmail Azimio if he needs to and then he steps into the room.

"Afternoon…"

"Kurt. Hey… uh, Az is here…"

"Mmm. Surprisingly I do recognize him, seeing as he had lunch with us today.  _Again_. I just didn't want him to eat all the cake this week…"

"I have to share my cake with him?" Azimio voices, looking majorly put out.

"Dude, it's not actually your cake."

"Wait, you eat cake?" Azimio asks and he rolls his eyes, letting himself fall onto the sofa as gracefully as possible.

"Of course I eat cake. Why would I not eat cake?"

"Uh, I just never figured you'd be the cake eating type…"

"Well, I'm going to rock your world, but not only do I eat cake, but I also eat pizza."

Azimio scowls at him, but Dave laughs and Azimio gives him the finger. It feels  _weird_. He's  _hanging out_  with David Karofsky and Azimio Adams. Granted, they currently both have a baby clinging to them, but it's still an odd situation to find himself in. And the babies kind of add to the weirdness. Claire comes in then, asks Dave for help putting them down for a catnap and then he leaves. There's awkward silence as they sit there, their common link in Dave gone and no, he can't think of himself as friends.

"Thanks man. For, uh… you know."

"Interfering?"

Azimio shrugs and nods, and well, it's nice to be appreciated and he nods in reply. They've sort of come to an understanding over the last week, a  _silent_ understanding, but that's probably for the best given that they've not managed to say overly nice things to each other in the past. Dave enters the room again, bearing cake and looking between the two of them as if he's surprised to either find them both still here, or alive. Both probably. He smiles, sickly sweet and it turns to a grin when Dave rolls his eyes at him. He kind of likes it.

**LSY**

Az grumbles about not getting given cake first, but considering it's his second piece he ignores him. Also Kurt looks quietly pleased about being given his piece first. Cake politics. He hasn't seen them sitting and eating lunch together, but it has to be an odd sight, and it's not something he can get his head round. Az had just mumbled about trying it out when he'd asked, embarrassed, and he'd let it drop.

"So, you forgiven me yet?" He asks, kicking Az in the side of the leg, and he does feel awkward with Kurt there as well, but he knows he's probably imagining it's worse than it is. But Tuesday is his usual afternoon with Az, and he's missed it.

"Let me beat your ass at Halo, then we can talk," Az replies, shoving the last of the cake into his mouth.

"That won't be hard, I haven't played in months."

"What have you been  _doing_?"

"Studying."

"Man, you've  _changed_. I don't even know who you are anymore…"

He gets a punch on his arm and he wonders if Kurt would be interested in playing Halo.

"You want to play?"

"Thanks, but not today. Next time. I actually have to get home and cook dinner tonight. Seeing as I'm not a fire hazard every time I enter the kitchen."

Az snorts in amusement and he shoots him a filthy look, although Kurt is the one who is teasing him, eyes twinkling and he pokes his tongue out, making him laugh. He says goodbye and goes off to say goodbye to Claire and he turns to find Az looking at him, one eyebrow raised and he frowns.

"What?"

"He turns up, eats cake, then leaves… and you smile like a lovesick idiot the whole time. You could have told me you liked him man, I told you I'm okay with the gay thing."

"I don't like him! I mean, yeah, I like him as a friend, and I kind of feel bad about all the shitty things I used to do, but I don't like him like that…"

Az doesn't look like he believes him  _at all_  and he feels slightly panicky, because he  _doesn't_  like Kurt like that. He can't. It's the last thing Kurt needs right now anyway, not for a long time, so even if he did he still wouldn't do anything about it. He just shakes his head and tell Az he's crazy before

**LSY**

It's been over six weeks now, and he doesn't feel like it's a defining point of his everyday movements. He has stopped jumping every single time one of the guys in glee touch him, although he knows being in school helps. It's a familiar environment, and despite all the bullying he's experienced in the hallways, he's not scared. It doesn't hurt that Azimio seems to have become a silent sentinel, although he probably only has himself to blame, bringing him a piece of cake one Friday and telling him it's to tide him through to Tuesday. He hadn't complained.

Wednesday night has kind of become his Karofsky family night. Sometimes he's there for the entire evening ritual of feeding the twins, bath time and bottles before leaving so Paul can sing. Some nights there's additional glee club practice, so he only gets there just in time for dinner. Tonight isn't one of those nights, although Claire is wiping the floor, so he guesses he's missed the feeding, and from the lack of Paul and Dave he guesses that they're busy bathing the twins.

Claire's eyes light up when he places the shopping bag on the counter, and he doesn't know if maybe he read her wrong initially, but there is definitely something up. She'd texted him and asked him to buy some ingredients, which he's fine with, but just the fact that she'd forgotten seems out of character. Not that he supposes he knows her really well, or even for very long, but it still worries him slightly, and Dave had just shrugged and shook his head when he asked last week.

"You're a life saver. Thank you  _so_  much. Now, let's get started and get this cake in the oven before dinner."

They're making a fruitcake, not something he could ever think of having at home around Christmas with his grandmother potentially visiting. So they'd come up with a solution. Cake sharing. They'll make a cake and then have half each, and if he's asked (that is, confronted by his grandmother), he can say it was a gift and therefore not be thrown out. He takes the offered apron, although he wore old clothes on purpose, knowing he would likely get cake mix somewhere.

He's not baked with anyone else before, but they slip into a rhythm, and it's an easy recipe. Baking from scratch is something he finds almost therapeutic. He likes putting things together and having something to show at the end of it. Be it clothes, or baking or a finished performance. He gets the same sense of accomplishment out of all of them. Claire slides the cake into the oven, grinning at him and brushing her hands on her jeans, leaving flour behind and begins to tidy up.

She flicks on the baby monitor, and Paul's voice sounds through the room, and the absolutely soppy look Claire gets on her face makes him smile. He hums a couple of bars of the lullaby that Dave had sung, making her laugh at their private joke and he laughs as well, wondering if he'll ever tell Dave he knows his big secret. He takes the spatula from her, grinning as he swipes his tongue over it, feeling decadent, but it's only days until Christmas and he's pretty much dancing on the spot right now.

He turns to find Dave standing in the doorway, eyes wide and he pauses, wondering if Dave has suddenly realized that maybe he's heard him sing via the baby monitor. He definitely looks shocked enough for that to be it and he smiles and shrugs, because what's he going to do about him knowing he can sing? He takes a final swipe of the spatula and slots it into the dishwasher before washing his hands, knowing the table now needs to be set. Dave seems to snap out of whatever fog he's in and starts preparing the bottles.

**LSY**

Holy shit. Az was right.  _How_  was Az right?

He  _does_  like Kurt as more than just a friend.


	8. Chapter 8

He's not in the loop yet, but he recognizes the signs. Something is up with his dad and Claire. The whole going silent when he enters the room, the worried looks between them. And he's pretty sure Claire's been crying. What it means is that they've not worked through whatever it is yet. Last time it had been them telling him Claire was pregnant. The time before that, they were getting married. He's not going to worry about whatever it is until they actually tell him. Anyway, he has other things on his mind.

He's buried his realization about Kurt. Rather, his feelings for Kurt. He's had a crush on him before, the unhealthy obsessive type of interest, which he'd gotten over. Now though he knows it's different, because he can actually call Kurt a friend. And he's not going to muck that up by screwing around and imagining impossible things. So, burying it is his only option. Mainly because he'd refused to let himself deny it.

It's Christmas break, and it's going to be good for one thing if nothing else, and that's distance from Honey. She's been angling for him to have a New Year's party, or for him to go with her to one being organized by another cheerleader, telling him it's time for a new start blah blah blah. He'd tried insisting that he is actually gay and she'd gotten angry with him. Short of making out with Nathan he's not sure what could convince her, and he's definitely  _not_  making out with Nate.

Nate's gone back to New York for the holidays and he misses his easy-going presence already, plus the fact that he gets on with Az as well, which had been a surprise. Although according to Az Nathan had been a cake walk compared to trying to make Kurt like him. He didn't point out that Az hasn't yet apologized to Kurt and given their history it's understandable things are a little strained.

The hockey team still has practice, although it's fairly informal. It's more like a couple of friendly games while they're on break, so he's headed along to the rink for their first meet up and is hoping Honey doesn't know about it, because she'd turn up. Their goalie has gone to Colorado for the break, so he's invited Az along. Although he can't skate, he  _can_  stand in the goal wearing pads and take a battering, he's done it since they were kids and he just has to remember not to laugh at him as he hobbles out to the goal.

There are skaters using the main rink, but he knows there's some type of arrangement with the hockey coaches and the rink to allow for practice time. He spies Az watching from the side and walks up, giving him a shoulder bump.

"Hey man."

"Hey. Anyone we know out there?"

"Oh, only half of Nude Erections. Can I still call them that?"

Dave rolls his eyes, because Az can still be so juvenile, and the purpose of sitting with them at lunch is clearly going right over his head. He glances toward the rink, and sure enough he can spy Rachel Berry, Santana and Brittany holding hands, Hudson, a couple of people he doesn't recognize but are clearly part of the same group. And Kurt.

"Dude, call them what you want, but if you're trying to befriend them then you probably shouldn't."

"Yeah. Probably…"

He heads into the locker room, Az following, and changes fast. Az huffs beside him, and he realizes it's the first time he's been in a locker-room with another guy who knows he's gay. Well, except for kissing Kurt that one time, but Kurt isn't one of his team mates. There are other guys there, Terence, who he introduces to Az. He catches Az's roll of the eyes as he grabs his shoulder pads and tightens the Velcro before hitting him hard on the shoulders.

"Good?"

"Yeah. Thanks," and it's a silent conversation, and maybe he's not given Az enough credit, because that little exchange means a lot. Now that he thinks about it Az knew for ages and still continued changing in the locker room with him. Thinking back he can't remember him suddenly only changing in the cubicle, or being freaked out, so if he did freak out, and Az says he did, then it was silent and internal. He's grateful for that. They walk back out to the rink fully fitted out and he stores his bag under a chair and glances toward the rink again. About six others are already out on the ice, and some of the public are still there. Kurt is skating circles around Hudson, laughing up at him while he looks annoyed about something.

"Boy, you got it  _bad_ …" Az says and he looks away from the rink.

"Shut up Zee."

"Oh, you're not denying it. Can I give you shit about it now?"

"Look. It's complicated. Can you just, I don't know, drop it? Please?"

"Fuck man, you ruin all my fun," Az mutters, but he goes silent, and he's grateful, because Kurt's seen him and waved, already skating toward him and stepping off gracefully, because of course Kurt would know how to skate and be graceful.

"Hey Kurt…"

"Hey Dave. Azimio. How are you?"

"Good thanks. Just here for practice."

"Have you switched teams there Azimio?" Kurt asks, lips curled in a slight smile at the double meaning and okay, he suddenly gets why he still annoys Az.

"It's unofficial practice," Az mutters and Dave gives Kurt a look, although he's not exactly sure what he's trying to convey. He knows Kurt is trying to wind Az up, but it's probably still too early for that type of friendship between them.

"So, you guys off now then?" Dave asks, breaking the almost staring match between his two unlikely friends.

"Hmm? Yeah. Going to go to the Lima Bean, relax and warm up. Some hockey team has the rink for the rest of the afternoon…" Kurt lets out a put upon sigh and he laughs and shakes his head, because this is good, that Kurt seems to be able to make fun of him. He's pretty sure their friendship is more than ready for it. They start moving toward the edge of the ice, helmets and sticks in hand.

"Yeah, bunch of inconsiderate puck heads…"

"Exactly. I'm glad you can appreciate my plight. Anyway, I'll let you go and join the afore mentioned puck heads on the ice. I'll see you later. Azimio."

Kurt grins at him and nods sharply at Az before striding over to where the rest of his friends are waiting, watching him and Az with a variety of expression from curiosity to confusion. He wonders if Kurt's told them that he hangs out with him on a regular basis, although if Az is having lunch with them maybe it doesn't seem so odd. He shrugs and puts it in the too-hard basket for now.

He steps onto the ice, doing up his helmet and pulling on gloves and trying to ignore Az clinging to the side. Carl skates over, eyes on something behind him and he points with his stick. and and senses another body beside him

"You know that fairy?" Carl asks, jerking his chin in the same direction his stick is pointing. He doesn't need to turn around to know he has to be pointing at Kurt, but he looks over his shoulder. He  _could_  say anything, apart from Az no one else would hear him, except he doesn't deny things. He opens his mouth to say that Kurt's a friend but is beaten to it.

"That  _fairy_  is actually a good friend of his. So don't call him that. Also, I'm Zee, another good friend of his. I'm going to play goalie."

The sheer bulk of Az is impressive, and he does a seriously awesome intimidating face, except it's all shot to hell when Az unbalances and falls to the ice. Fortunately Terence comes over and pulls him up effortlessly. Between Az and Terence Dave feels positively dainty in comparison. He looks to Carl whose lip is curled in a sneer before he shrugs and mutters ' _whatever'_  before skating off.

"Kurt's a friend huh?" Dave asks, looking at Az sideways.

"Yeah, he brought me cake. He's not all bad…"

**LSY**

Christmas is more relaxed then Thanksgiving. Carole and his dad have somehow managed to fool the grandparents into thinking the other set is coming, which has resulted in neither of them coming. Of course, it's going to backfire come the next holiday and they actually talk to each other again. He fully expects his dad to be on the receiving end of an ear bashing when that happens and he secretly hopes he's around to see it.

He's having a sleepover with Mercedes, Santana, Brittany and Rachel. Rachel who he fully expects will no doubt sneak off to Finn's room the second she thinks they're all asleep but he can't bring himself to care. This is his mock New Year's Eve, because he's not going to Rachel's party. He's not ready to be around the combination of Blaine and alcohol. He's pretty sure that Blaine wouldn't try anything, but he doesn't  _know_ , he can't  _guarantee_  that type of thing, and at this stage he's not willing to risk it. For all he knows Blaine might never drink again, but regardless he needs to feel in control, and at Rachel's he simply wouldn't be.

They're watching movies, eating junk and talking about boys, although he's not contributing much on that front. Mercedes seems to be waffling between Shane and Sam, and he couldn't care less really, but he makes appropriate noises, wondering if his dad knows that Santana and Brittany are a couple and that there's probably going to be more teenage hormones running rampant tonight under his roof than he'd like.

"So, you seemed pretty buddy-buddy with Karofsky the other day…"

"We're friends now. Why is that so strange?"

"The sight of you talking calmly to Dave and Azimio Adams will always be strange okay? I felt like I had slipped into an alternate world or something."

"Well, they're both sort of friends now. Dave definitely. Azimio…"

"He acts like he's protecting you or something. Think Dave put him up to it? Seeing as he's not at McKinley anymore and he was always pretty intense when it came to the Bully Whips and protecting you."

He frowns, because as nice as it might  _sound_ , he doesn't need or want protection. Not from anyone. He doesn't get that vibe from Azimio, although he does from Dave occasionally, but he'd thought it was just friendly concern. He can deal with that, especially seeing as his type of concern is quiet and understated. Unlike Rachel's over-the-top exclamations and incessant need to reassure him over every little thing.

The following day it's still niggling at him, wondering if maybe Dave is using Azimio to ensure his safety around McKinley or whether it's just coincidence. He knows he needs to find out and he sends Dave a quick message, asking him if he's home. He gets an affirmative answer and leaves the house, calling out to Carole where he's going and pulls up outside the now familiar house and skips up the steps.

"Hey, how are you?" Dave asks, smiling when he opens the door.

"Good. Look, I have a question… did you ask Azimio to befriend me?"

"Uh, no. I think you kind of befriended him first."

"What? No I didn't!"

"Uh, you kind of did. I mean, first you get him and me to be friends again, and then you gave him cake."

"I… did do those things. But he's still sitting with us at lunch every day!"

"I told you already, he's just… trying to make amends or something? I don't know…"

"Yeah, well, it's weird…"

"I'll tell him you said so."

"Right… so you've not told him to keep an eye on me or anything  _a la_  Bullywhips style type thing?"

Dave laughs and looks at him incredulously.

"Seriously? When you have the rest of the glee club watching your back? I think you're the only reason Az hasn't been cornered and threatened and asked what he's up to by the guys."

"Oh," Kurt murmurs, and Dave kind of does have a point. "Sorry, it was just something Santana said yesterday. I've over thought it. Clearly." For some reason it stings a little that Dave isn't actively protecting him by asking Az to keep an eye on him, which is just  _stupid,_  and he shakes the feeling away. "So, what are you doing for New Year's?"

Dave laughs and mutters something about not-so-subtle changes of topic and he shrugs, because he doesn't want to dwell on little stinging sensations of emotion anyway.

"It's going to sound lame, but I'm staying home. I'm baby sitting. That's my cover story anyway."

"Okay… why do you need a cover story?"

"Uh, the cheerleaders have organized this big party and that girl, uh, Honey? The one I told you about?"

"The one who doesn't believe that you're gay?"

"Yeah. Well, she's been pretty insistent that I go. So I'm pulling the  _my family needs me_  card. She thinks it's time I got over Santana, new start blah blah blah."

Kurt laughs at the bored and slightly irritated tone of Dave's voice.

"So, are you seriously staying here alone?"

"No. I have a couple of friends coming over actually. We're going to watch a couple of movies and just hang out…"

"Oh. Sounds fun."

Well, he enjoys spending time with Dave, so it does sound like fun, and he wouldn't mind meeting his other friends, but he's not about to invite himself anywhere, particularly when it might make Dave uncomfortable. Although he doesn't think it would, but he doesn't want to chance it.

"Yeah, we hung out a couple of weeks ago. The night Santana came around actually. I feel like I'm forming a circle of friends. It's nice. I don't have to pretend with them…"

"Oh…" And now the way Dave is talking makes him feel like he's not part of that circle, although he knows Dave considers him a friend. "Is Az going?"

"Pfft. No. Az has his limits." Kurt bites his lip, because he's pretty sure that he's one of those limits. "What are you doing? Big party?"

"Uh, no, not exactly… Rachel's throwing a party. I'm, um, not going."

"What? Why not?"

"Blaine will be there."

"I thought you guys were… able to be in the same room."

"Same room, yes. While at school and in an educational environment. This would be… social. I don't want to socialize with him." That's too much, and maybe  _that's_ what has been bugging him, because it feels  _right_  now that he's voiced it aloud to Dave. It isn't the chance of anything happening, it's the social setting and the fact that Rachel seems to think he'd  _want_  to socialize with Blaine. That everything seems to think that he'd be okay with it. Well he's  _not_.

"Have you told him that? Because I'm pretty sure he'd bail if you asked."

"No. No. I don't want to go anyway, everyone's planning on drinking and…"

And he doesn't want to rip the glee club up with its already precarious situation of being newly reformed. There's enough drama there without him adding to it.

"Yeah. Fair enough. And Puckerman will probably score some weed. Yeah. Look, you want to come hang out here…? I mean, it's a mix of math geeks and drama geeks that are coming. Maybe my mate Terence, but he'll probably make a showing at the other party first…"

It's the invitation he'd been waiting for, but he really doesn't know if Dave means it or is offering it up out of pity. He bites back a sigh before thanking him for the invite and asking if he can think about. Then he changes the subject again.


	9. Chapter 9

He doesn't hear from Kurt until a few hours before everyone else is due to arrive, a short text asking if it's still alright that he come to the  _party_. He sends back a quick yes and then starts freaking out a bit. Not about spending time with Kurt, because he's over that mystery, but that his Carmel friends are going to be meeting Kurt, who is very clearly  _out_. Not that he expects any of them to have a problem, but he's kind of ended up inviting most of the math club, which he supposes he's unofficially a member of.

Terence is coming as well, after stopping by the party which Honey is pissed he isn't attending. He's had to be slightly evasive with Terence, telling him that he has to stay home and babysit. He knows his cover will be blown when his dad and Claire return from the dinner date they have planned, leaving him completely free to attend a party if he wanted. Except he  _doesn't_. He's kind of looking forward to the math club coming around; a couple of them are really into ball and like talking game stats with him and they want him to try a board game.

Mickey and Kara, his girlfriend, are the first to arrive, and he wonders if he needs to say anything. There are two out gay kids at Carmel, but they're both part of Vocal Adrenaline and no one fucks with Vocal Adrenaline. Terence is the next to turn up and he frowns.

"Dude, you bailed on the other party already?"

"Meh. It doesn't start until later, so I'll go then."

"Oh. Okay, cool," Dave replies, but there seems to be something resigned about him, but he's pretty sure he's paranoid after trying to read Clair and his dad for the last few weeks.

They're ordering pizza for dinner, and he introduces them to Claire, his dad and the twins and takes them through to the den, still undecided if he should say anything. He doesn't want them to say anything to upset Kurt, although he knows Kurt can look after himself, he'd prefer to avoid unnecessary drama. What the hell, he can ask.

"Uh, how do you guys feel about gay guys?"

"Are you coming out?" Mickey asks, tone teasing.

 _Oh fuck_. He glances around; Terence's eyebrows are so high he can't even see them, Mickey merely looks curious, maybe amused, although Kara looks suitably shocked. He doesn't want to deny it, but he's not exactly psyched himself for coming out to anyone, let alone three people. He snaps his mouth shut, realizing he's been gaping at them and swallows, desperately trying to think of what he can say.

"Holy  _shit_ , you  _are_ …" Mickey breathes, taking his silence as admission and his heart starts racing.

"Uh…"  _I wasn't meaning to?_  His mind supplies and he closes his eyes. "I… no. I'm not coming out. Uh." His breathing has started shortening and he sits down on the nearest chair and rubs his face.  _Screw it._  "I wasn't  _meaning_  to come out, but uh, yeah. Surprise?"

Terence snorts from across the room and he glances up to meet amused eyes. Kara is wide eyed and he wonders if there is somehow a rumor going around that he is gay and Honey is trying to convert him or something. He wouldn't be surprised, because girls talk, although considering how much of a gossip monger Nathan is he knows guys can be just as bad.

"So, if you weren't meaning to come out, why did you ask us about how we feel about gay guys?" Mickey asks, because that seems to interest him more than the fact he's just come out.

"Oh. I have a friend coming from my old school. He's gay."

"And out I take it?"

"Yeah. He's… definitely out."

"So, what Honey was saying is true then…"

"I…" Oh god, he knew it. "What's she saying?"

"Well, that you're so heartbroken over your split from… Santana was it? Your ex girlfriend that came here that one time?" He nods. "Well, she thinks you're so heartbroken that you've decided you're gay so you don't get your heart broken by another woman. And apparently she's the one to mend it and convince you that you're not gay…" Kara states, and then she's laughing, breaking down into snorting giggles and he groans, letting his head fall into his hands.

"Dude, you told Honey Willows that you're gay?" Terence asks, disbelief written all over his face.

"Yeah. But she didn't  _believe me_ …"

Kara is laughing so hard she's started having difficulty breathing and Mickey has started chuckling as well and Dave huffs, glad his life is clearly so amusing. He's kind of glad Nathan isn't here, because he'd be laughing just as hard.

"She has the biggest mouth in school…" Terence mutters, and he's glad he isn't freaking out, because he wouldn't blame him.

"I did kind of ask her to keep it quiet, that I wasn't ready to be out…"

That seems to start Kara off again and he wonders what else has been said. When a couple of others turn up it seems to calm her and Mickey down, and there's an unspoken agreement that they won't be telling anyone what he's in advertently told them and he relaxes.

**LSY**

He knocks on the door, nervous despite Dave's assurances that his Carmel friends are a mixed bunch he's still half expecting to walk into a room filled with jocks. Claire answers the door though, grinning widely and enveloping him in a hug.

"Happy New Year Kurt."

"Hi. Happy New Year," he replies automatically, grinning, hugging her back.

"Go through to the den. They're all in there. Currently arguing over movie choices I think. Or pizza toppings."

"Okay, thanks…"

He kind of wants her to come with him, especially when he hears a bout of laughter from the direction he's heading, and he  _knows_  they aren't laughing at him, but he still  _feels_  like they are, and he isn't even in the room yet.

"You're all a bunch of uneducated heathens!" He hears Dave exclaim and he stands at the open doorway, taking in the ten or so people scattered around the room. He's good with names and faces, and he recognizes one guy from the ice rink, and he relaxes a bit, because Dave was right, it does look like a varied group of people, and definitely not jocks.

"Hey Kurt! Come in, I saved you a seat from these vultures."

There's a round of good natured protests and he steps across the room, navigating around strewn cushions and bodies, hesitantly returning the smiles aimed his way.

"Everyone, this is Kurt, a friend from my old high school. Kurt… this is Terence, Mickey, Kara, James, Chen, Julie, Fiona, Mack, Alexia and Ben. Don't worry, you don't need to remember all their names."

"Terence, Mickey, Kara, James, Chen, Julie, Fiona, Mack, Alexia and Ben. I think I'm good," he says, and he feels a little thrill at the look of impressed surprise on Dave's face. A couple of them give him a round of applause and he pretends a mock bow before sitting in the chair Dave has apparently been saving him.

"Can you remember numbers like that?"

"I've never tried," he admits, but he doubts it. He can memorize lyrics and choreography easily, so names have always been easy. Numbers are different.

"I bet I can teach you to count cards…"

"Yeah, you'd kill at poker…"

"You guys play poker?" Terence asks, and suddenly the focus of the conversation is away from him and they're talking about the different types of poker and card counting and how it's not cheating if everyone playing does it.

"You okay?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" Dave raises an eyebrow at him and he huffs, rolling his eyes. "Claire said something about pizza?"

The conversation swings again, with Dave apparently liking pineapple on his pizza, which the rest think is disgusting and it feels odd, socializing with people he hardly knows. But no one is treating him any differently, or looking at him pityingly, or being careful not to touch him suddenly.  _That_  feels good, to feel normal again and he slowly lets himself relax.

**LSY**

He's had to go and settle Adam once, and it had taken a while because he hadn't noticed the flashing of the monitor for a few minutes probably, the sound turned off so as not to interrupt the movie. He gets back into the kitchen to find Terence refilling his glass and he jerks his head in greeting.

"Hey. You heading off soon?"

"Ah… yeah. Probably?"

"Dude, you don't have to go, can always just say you were keeping me company…"

"Yeah. I just, I wanted to tell you that there's no rumors about you among the guys… I mean…"

He stiffens, because he'd  _wondered_  of course, when Kara had been laughing, if it had been passed on, and it's a bit worrying that there aren't rumors really, not that he knows how he'll deal with them when they  _do_  appear. He shrugs, meeting Terence's eyes.

"It's part of why I transferred. Kurt was the kid I bullied the worst."

"And he's your friend now?"

"Yeah, but there's extenuating circumstances. But yeah, we're friends."

Silence gathers, and he can tell Terence wants to say something else, so he waits. A small part of him wants to get back to the movie, but he's already missed most of it.

"He's cute," Terence states, staring at the ceiling and the way he says it makes his jaw drop. There's no mistaking the he's talking about Kurt and he feels instantly protective, territorial and possessive and oh  _shit._  He  _does_  have it bad.

"Wait, did you just come out to me?"

"Yeah…"

"Holy shit."

"What, did you think you were the only one?"

"Kinda, yeah. Are you… out to anyone?"

"What do you think?"

"Huh. Not even your parents?"

"No." Short, sharp, and he's so grateful for his dad and Claire right now. "Carl. Among others. I mean…"

"Dude, I get it. I really do. Trust me. I'm not out either. I mean, there are a few people that know. But it's not something I want to advertise. Do you seriously think I've fucked up by telling Honey?"

"Well… I would have said yes. But maybe the girls are keeping really quiet and not telling their boyfriends?"

"Why though?"

"You want me to explain women to you?"

"I could tell you," Kara's voice interjects and they both turn.

"What?"

"It's a bet. Some of the girls think you're actually gay. Honey said that if you go out with her then you clearly aren't, and also that a gay guy wouldn't have an ex-girlfriend as hot as Santana."

"I… what? That makes no sense."

"This is Honey we're talking about. Smart, but kind of clueless when it comes to people and social cues. Anyway, it seems like most of the girls actually believe you are gay, because you have no other reason to tell her that. So they bet her a Prom Queen nomination and enough votes to win, that you wouldn't go on a date with her. As long as you never found out about the bet though. So…  _oops_?"

He stares. Blinks.

"What has my life become? People are taking bets about who I'm going to date?"

"I'm sorry, but I think it's hilarious," Kara says, grinning. He looks to Terence quickly to find him biting his lip in the effort to hold back laughter.

"We could really play this up you know…" Terence states and Kara's eyes light up with interest. He groans and shakes his head.

"Just keep me out of it…" he mutters, and leaves them to it.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey Mr. Hummel, is Kurt home?"

"Sure, come in. Kurt's up in his room."

He smiles and nods. It's weird to be at Kurt's house, when it's usually Kurt coming round to his place, but he needs to talk, and Nate is still in New York, and Az has gone to his cousins place and well… he doesn't know Terence well enough to lay this on him. There is something to be said of friends that you have a history with, even if the history is like his and Kurt's, all bumpy and rough edges. He knocks on the closed door and opens it when he hears Kurt call out.

"Hey."

"Dave. Hey," Kurt's smile makes his stomach flip and he ignores it the best he can. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh, just needed to talk to someone…"

"Of course, sure, come in."

He doesn't know what to say, because he's still really in shock, so he just blurts it out, standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Claire's pregnant."

Kurt frowns.

"And you're… upset?"

"I… don't know. They're talking about moving to Cincinnati to be close to her parents so they can help out, because I'll be at college and… well…" he shrugs, unable to put into words what he's feeling. He already feels like shit for making Claire cry, although he has no idea what he did, and his dad assured him it was just hormones, but he'd needed to get out of there, which is stupid, because he feels like the only place he really wants to be right now is home.

"So…" Kurt starts, drawing the word to make it sound like a question and he shrugs helplessly again. "Has it just hit you that you're moving away? That you're not going to know this baby like you know Lily and Adam?"

He hasn't even  _thought_  of that. The idea of not seeing Lily and Adam every day has his stomach clenching unpleasantly. They do something new and different all the time, and while the first few months of their lives had been pretty boring as far as he was concerned and he'd not been much use, now he kind of likes being left to look after them. Not that he'd ever want to do it all the time, but he likes the little people he can see emerging. It's kind of cool.

"Dave?"

"I hadn't thought about it."

"About not being around?"

"Yeah. I'm meant to be leaving in eight months, but I… they won't even know who I am when they see me on holidays."

He can't look up, because, stupidly, he feels like he might cry right now, and  _nothing is fucking wrong._  Life will go on if Lily and Adam and whatever the new kid is called don't know who he is. He's applied to a few colleges, knows his grades are good enough, but only one is even in the same state and it's not like he can live at home and go to college. He doesn't  _want_  to live at home. He scrubs his face with his hands, wondering when growing up started to suck so much.

"Where will you go to college?"

"I haven't decided yet. Depends on scholarships and stuff… but I've applied to a few."

"Remind me what they are again?"

"Ohio State. MIT. Chicago, Minnesota, Berkley and Illinois."

"Wow. That's… a lot."

He snorts and recalls their conversation of about a month ago when Kurt had told him he'd only applied to one place. He knows Kurt's applied to at least one other place now, and he wonders if he's had any acceptance letters back.

"Got to keep my options open. What about you?"

"Um. NYADA in New York obviously. After our talk I applied to Pittsburgh and Ohio State. Fine Arts, or Performing Arts. What about you?"

"I don't know. Something science related. I really don't know. I just… don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life."

Like the last time he'd said that Kurt looks baffled, like he can't understand not knowing and he just shrugs again, because he's not like Kurt, he hasn't had this set dream since he was little. Sure he wanted to be an astronaut, football player and doctor, all at the same time, but he's never had  _one_  just hook and hold him. He likes science and math, the cut and dry nature of it, but he has no idea what kind of career he could possibly have. Doesn't know if  _liking_  something is enough for the next forty years of his life.

"You'll figure it out."

Kurt says it with confidence, as if he knows Dave will wake up one morning having had an epiphany and he lets out a long sigh. He wishes Nate were here, because he's more clueless than him when it comes to future plans, and that's kind of comforting. Kurt's level of drive and dedication to his sole dream can be kind of intimidating.

**LSY**

He doesn't know what to say or do to make Dave feel better. If it were Mercedes or Rachel he'd go shopping, or watch movies or…  _something_. Finn is easy, warm milk and some soothing words and he's sorted. Dave seems confused, and he's probably over thinking everything so…

"Want to teach me how to play Halo?"

"What?"

"Come on. You need the distraction. Teaching my how to play Halo – it is called Halo right?"

"Uh, yeah. But… you don't really want to learn how to play that."

"Well, I've never tried so let's not rule it out completely. It can't be that hard. And it'll help distract you."

The look of complete and utter disbelief on Dave's face means he's suitably distracted and he grins. He jerks his head in the direction of the door and doesn't stop smiling as Dave shakes his head and follows him back downstairs. He unwinds the cords from around the controllers and turns it on, turning and grinning at Dave again who now just looks bemused.

"Have you ever played Rock Band?" Dave asks as he takes a controller and making himself comfortable on the sofa.

"No. Why?"

"It's… a game that involves singing."

"What? Why doesn't Finn have that?"

"Um, maybe because he sings enough in Glee club?"

"Huh. Do you have it?"

"Not so keen on learning how to play Halo huh?"

"Shut up. And answer my question."

"No, I don't have it. You need all the bits to go with it, and it would be a nightmare with the twins learning to walk, but there's drums and guitar… Az has it though."

"Oh… does he sing?"

"Badly."

"Do  _you_  sing?" Kurt asks, and he has to bite back laughter at the deer-in-headlights look Dave is now sporting. Of course he knows that Dave  _can_ sing, although he's only heard him the once, but being able to tease Dave a bit like this is kind of fun.

"I, uh, sing badly as well."

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true…"

"What has Az said?"

"Az? Nothing. Why? You hiding something?" The suspicious look Dave gives him only makes him grin wider.

"What do you know?"

"Oh no, I'm going to keep this to myself. Make you stew…"

"Kurt…"

"Lalala… not listening…so, in the absence of Rock Band you can teach me Halo. So, what do I need to do?"

Dave sighs and starts explaining objectives, equipping and weapons, eyes glancing at him with suspicion every now and then. He keeps giggling, which seems out of place when he shoots something and watches it explode with alarming clarity on the screen for the first time and he puts down the controller.

"No. Nope. Definitely not. Can't do it. It's just… too violent."

"Yeah, I kind of figured you wouldn't like it."

He huffs, because he hates when people assume things and then he goes and proves them right. He wishes he could completely defy expectations sometimes.

"Why do you like it?"

"Because it was a good way to get the aggression out. And it's fun to blow shit up."

He rolls his eyes, because it reminds him very clearly that Dave is still such a  _boy_.

"Karofsky. What are you doing here?"

They both turn to Finn, standing in the doorway, looking between him, Dave and his Xbox like they're having a ménage a trois.

"Kurt, are you  _playing_?"

"Well, at least you no longer being here is the weirdest thing for him," Kurt says under his breath, making Dave laugh and causing Finn to look at them both suspiciously.

"Were you guys playing together?"

"Dave was teaching me the finer points before I decided that my first instinct was completely right."

"What was your first instinct?"

"That I don't like violence and blowing stuff up. Rock Band though, that game could hold some promise…"

"Why would I want that game? I have real drums."

"There are  _drums?_ "

"Yeah. And guitars. I said there were bits."

"Bits?  _Bits_  is not very descriptive Dave. Drums and guitars? That's descriptive."

He hears both Dave and Finn sigh and glares at both of them. Finn looks suitably cowed, but Dave just looks amused, shaking his head again and he's tempted to poke his tongue out… except.

"We need Rock Band so I can hear Dave sing… again."

" _Again_?"

"Dude? You can sing? You haven't joined Vocal Adrenaline have you?"

"What?  _No_. When have you heard me sing?" He asks, and he actually looks a bit sick at the idea, and he can't figure out why it's such a big deal.

"I… you sing really nicely."

Dave  _blushes_ , well, he hopes it's a blush and not anger that's causing his cheeks to pinken-up. He still doesn't want to tell him where he heard him singing, just in case he never sings to Lily and Adam again, and he never has the opportunity of another stealth listen. Also he doesn't like the idea of getting Claire in trouble.

"Dude, you want a drink?"

He turns around to say no but then realizes Finn is asking Dave, not him, and  _god_ , he can't believe he hasn't even offered Dave a drink. Dave mumbles about helping Finn and he's left on the sofa, perplexed and alone.


	11. Chapter 11

Hudson looks kind of uncomfortable, like he wants to say something, but instead asks what kind of soda he wants. He shrugs, because he's easy with whatever and waits for Hudson to spit it out.

"So uh, I just wanted to say thank you."

"Uh, for what?"

"Well, being there for Kurt when I couldn't be. I mean, I talked this talk last year, at the wedding when our parents got married, saying I'd always be there for him and then… this happened and I wasn't even there for him. I didn't even notice." Dave doesn't know what to say, he hadn't expected Hudson to talk about it. "I'm just really glad you were there at the bowling alley."

"What bowling alley?"

"Beside the club? My mom said you had been bowling and that's when you saw Kurt."

"Hudson, I was at the gay club. I'm gay."

"What? So you weren't bowling?"

"Oh my god.  _No_. I wasn't bowling. The bowling club is across town. I was having a drink, and well… I didn't do anything really, I just… helped Kurt pick up the pieces."

"More than I did," Hudson says, and it's almost like the guy is sulking.

"Dude, are you pissed that you weren't there to help Kurt or pissed that you didn't get to save him, because if it's the latter then it's kind of screwed up." Hudson looks confused and he sighs. "The latter is last one."

"I… just feel like Kurt shuts me out. Like, Puck knew before I did and punched Blaine, and when Kurt transferred to Dalton, he just… keeps things to himself all the time."

"Hudson man, you really should be talking to Kurt about this, not me. He's your brother." He turns to head back out to the lounge, still kind of worried about how the hell Kurt knows, or thinks he knows, that he can sing. He's nowhere near in Kurt's league and he is never singing in front of him.

"So, are you guys friends now?"

"Hudson, he's been coming round to my house every Wednesday for dinner for like  _weeks_. Yeah, I think you can safely say we're friends.  _Just_  friends."

That seems to elicit a reaction from him and his eyes go wide.

"Wait. You're gay?"

"You told  _Finn_?"

He looks between the surprised expression on Kurt's face, and the bewildered one on Hudson's and nods, effectively answering both of them.

"Uh… are you prepared for more people to know? I mean, Finn's not exactly a master of discretion."

"Hey! I'm right here. And I won't tell anyone. But dude, are you sure?"

"Yes. It might have taken me a while but yeah, I'm sure," he states, sharing a soft smile with Kurt. The fact that he can refer to the hell he made Kurt's life, even obliquely, in front of him and not feel like absolute shit, and Kurt doesn't look upset. It releases something inside, guilt that he'd been hording for moments when he felt like shit so he had something extra to bash himself over the head with. It feels good to let it go a little more, although he doubts it'll ever be gone completely.

**LSY**

"So, Azimio, I hear you have a game called Rock Band."

"Where did you hear that?"

"Where do you think? Anyway, I was wondering if I could try it out."

"Since when did you like playing games?"

"Dave taught me how to play Halo."

"Dude, he  _tried_  to teach you. You said it was too violent," Finn interjects and he sniffs, shrugs and concedes the point with a slight incline of his head.

"Well, it  _was_  too violent. Which is why Dave suggested Rock Band. I like the sound of it. Do you think we could have a play at your house?"

"Dude, can you make it sound like, less gay?" He raises his eyebrows and gives him the best  _'excuse me?'_  expression he can muster. He knows Dave has been trying to get Azimio to cut out the slurs and language, and he's all for it. "Dude, I don't want you to come to my house and  _have a play_. You can come round and have jam session. Fucking Christ."

Okay, so maybe he's being a little harsh on the guy, and he feels for him as his eyes widen in what he can only describe as terror as the entire glee club decide that going to Azimio Adam's house to play Rock Band sounds like a fantastic idea. He has to bite back a grin as he stands to clear his tray and get to his next class.

"Hell no. You guys aren't coming to my house. No way."

"You might as well give in. They have a hive mind when it comes to something they want," Kurt states, and he gives him a quick grin over his shoulder as he walks away. Az gives him the finger, but it just makes him laugh.

**LSY**

All he'd heard on Tuesday night was Az bitching about the glee club, which, to be fair, was nothing out of the ordinary, but the fact that they are all descending upon his house to play on his Xbox has him chuckling. He'd suggested that Az just lock the doors and not let them in, but that had got him a punch on the arm and reminded that his mom wouldn't let him be rude to guests like that. He'd turned down the invitation to join them, glad he has the excuse of a game to use, because even Kurt can't wheedle him into missing a game just to play Rock Band, although he's pretty sure Kurt has his mind set on them playing together at some point, which is fine, as long as he doesn't expect him to sing.

School is… weird. He's pretty sure that some of the guys might suspect now, but no one has yet said anything, although Carl has definitely upped the homophobic slurs and name-calling to a whole new level, which makes him wary despite none of it being directed his way. He's talked it over with Terence, and together they make note of the guys that seem to back Carl, and the guys that really don't seem to care. The friendship with Terence seems to have considerably lessened his personal weirdness factor though, and he can tell the teams accept him a little more despite his odd lunchtime rituals.

Honey hasn't given up. In fact she has doubled her efforts. He's come to school to find his locker stuffed full with little paper hearts with sickeningly-cute sayings on them, like hundreds of candy hearts, but paper instead. He'd taken her to the side and let her down gently. Again. Told her that he really wasn't interested in dating her. At all.  _Ever_. The more he resists though the harder she seems to try and he just doesn't get it, even with the whole prom queen thing, surely she'd be able to put her efforts toward a guy that is actually interested and campaigning for nomination and votes honestly. He doesn't know if it's paranoia or if he should actually be worried, but Kara cackles every time she sees him, eyes glinting with untold mischief and Terence won't tell him anything. He's filled in Nate, glad to have him back, even when he somehow manages to get details from Kara and seems far too amused by his plight with Honey.

On Wednesday, as suspected, Kurt tries to coerce him into joining them to play Rock Band and he informs him he has a hockey game to play and laughs when Kurt pulls a face. A small part of him wants to offer a trade, but instead he tells him about school, complains about Honey, and Kurt is the only person who doesn't seem amused by it. He kind of wants to tell him about Terence, but he'd asked him, and he wants to keep it quiet, so not even Nate knows.

Kurt and Claire talk about babies, and he's gotten used to the idea now, although the idea of leaving what has always been his home and never returning makes him melancholy. He has to remind himself it's just a house, and that it's the people that are the most important. His dad and Claire are still discussing the different pros and cons of different places, and lists litter the house. He's gotten used to Claire muttering under her breath about not wanting to live too close to her mom, and he really wishes he could offer a solution.

Saturday's game is brutal, but he loves being on the ice, stepping off and feeling revitalized. Alive. He goes to the after party, but insists on driving so refuses the celebratory drinks. He smiles at the text messages he has when he eventually checks his phone. ' _96% on Expert!'_ from Kurt and  _'Fuck, when will they leave?'_  from Az. There're more of course, so many from Kurt it's like a running commentary and it's almost like he was there, especially when he intersperses Az's  _'I know Hudson can play drums, but dude nearly broke my set!'_  and ' _Man, that Berry chick won't give up the microphone to anyone.'_ He kind of wishes he could have been there, but judging from the text messages he knows there will be a repeat soon.

**LSY**

Preparations for Regionals are in full swing and January slips by so rapidly it takes him by surprise when the first Wednesday of February arrives and Dave says he's free to play Rock Band that weekend, if it doesn't clash with extra glee practices. He mentions that Terence and Nate want to play as well, so it'd be the five of them if Kurt can make it. He's more than okay with that, he's been kind of curious to meet this Nathan that Dave talks about so much.

When Saturday afternoon rolls around and he pulls up outside Azimio's house he pauses for a second, realizing that he's willingly planning on spending a couple of hours in the company of four other guys. Sure Dave is a friend, and so is Azimio in a really weird way, but Terence and Nathan are unknowns, although Terence reminds him of a gentle giant. He knocks and lets himself in when Az just shouts at him to come in. That means his mom is clearly not home, and he pushes the door open, heading for the den.

The only person he doesn't recognize has to be Nathan, and he's not sure what he expected, but he supposes he expected someone bigger. Nathan is definitely _taller_  than Kurt, but he's rake thin, and he looks even skinnier standing between Dave and Terence as they all unravel cables and pull out the guitars from the cases Azimio keeps them in. Az had commandeered the drums, which doesn't surprise him considering the fuss he kicked up when Finn wanted to have a turn last time they played. The drums are clearly his domain.

"Hi, you must be Kurt. I've heard a lot about you."

"Likewise. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Yeah, for some reason I think Dave thought it was in his best interests to keep us separated for as long as possible. Worried we might gang up on him."

He remembers Dave saying something about Nathan, that there was something that he wasn't at liberty to share, and looking at the smiling and confident man he can't imagine what kind of history he might have, but knows he might never find out. He makes a quip that maybe they can gang up against Dave's wardrobe, sending Dave a grin to let him know he's just joking and gets a responding eye roll. It feels good.

Terence and Dave both take guitars, and he'd tried those last time and ended up so frustrated he'd wanted to throw the damn thing at the TV screen. He'll stick with singing, although Azimio is handing both him and Nathan microphones. His little avatar is already standing on the stage on screen and he chews his lip. He doesn't really want to loose his expert ranking, and he can't believe he's being competitive over what is just a game but he can't help the question that slips out.

"Can you sing?"

"A bit. Haven't in a long time, but it's not something you exactly forget is it?"

He lets his mouth close on the argument and concedes that no, for some people they would never forget how to sing. Az selects one of the songs, and they aren't Broadway songs, but the game is called Rock Band for a reason and it's nice to stretch his vocal chords with different genres. When the lyrics appear he begins singing, starting a little as Nathan joins in, because  _holy shit_ , he can sing. They work their way through a set list of three songs before stopping for a break. He's a bit breathless from the pace but he's still startled that the voice that came out of Nathan is a lot like his own, if slightly deeper and not quite with such a wide range.

"You're not in Vocal Adrenaline are you?" His eyes flick to Dave, because he's pretty sure Dave would have told him if he were.

"Me? No. I'd never get up on stage and sing like that."

"What? Why not?" He can't fathom not performing, but he catches a flash of  _something_  on Dave's face and okay, he's not an idiot. "Well, I for one am glad you don't like performing, because it means one less fabulous voice I have to compete against. You can really sing."

"Thanks. My mom taught me. She sings pretty well."

"She must do. Wow."

He looks a little embarrassed at the attention and Kurt hopes he hasn't said anything to upset him. He accepts the glass of water Azimio offers him and decides to sit the next couple of songs out, because now he kind of wants to watch Dave do something he so obviously enjoys. He uses the excuse of resting his voice and settles down to watch for the next three songs, catching Dave's eye he grins widely. It feels more than good.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been hanging out to write this chapter. This story is AU since the First Time, but I still felt like Kurt deserved some serious affection and attention come Valentine's Day.

Kurt hasn't been looking forward to this day at all, which feels odd because he  _had_  been looking forward to it ever since he got together with Blaine. Even though he doesn't  _want_  to be with anyone, he can't help but feel a little pang that today is Valentine's Day and yet again, he's alone. He's okay with that. He is. Really. Mostly. He sighs as he locks his car and heads inside, pretending disdain at the poor freshman who has been dressed up as cupid and made to deliver valentines.

The metallic flash of balloons up ahead catches his eye, and as he gets closer he realizes that attached to his locker are heart-shaped balloons. About five of them bobbing around as students walk past and he instantly looks up and down, wondering who they're from. There's a small pink envelope, a gold star holding it closed and there is his answer. He smiles as he flicks it open, touched that Rachel has done this. Rachel and  _Mercedes_  he corrects mentally as he sees her handwriting in the card alongside Rachel's.

It buoys him up for a good part of the morning, balloons trailing after him as he moves between classes. He's in French when flowers are delivered, and bored, the teacher calls his name, snapping his attention from the text in front of him. Beautiful bright yellow roses, a half-dozen, wrapped in blue. There's a tiny card stapled to the side and he tries to ignore everyone's eyes on him as he tugs it off and opens it.

' _Happy Valentine's Day. A friend.'_

Hmm. He hopes Blaine hasn't decided to send him flowers. Yellow roses are the symbol of friendship but he doesn't want to really be friends with Blaine. Not outside of school anyway. He twists in his chair to quickly look at Azimio who just looks amused, so no clues there, and he doesn't  _think_  Dave would send him flowers, but maybe he would. Surely he'd sign his name though? Actually the handwriting looks a lot neater than what he's seen of Dave's. A mystery then.

He leaves French and heads to lunch, feeling pretty happy. Everyone seems to be feeling pretty good, there's a positive vibe, and he supposes, or hopes rather, that it's going to last longer than one day. He sits at the table with the other glee club members already there and Puck makes a comment about him getting the goods, motioning towards his full hands.

"I don't know if getting balloons from Rachel and Mercedes counts as getting the goods exactly."

"And the flowers?"

"Well, actually, I don't know who sent those."

"Oh, a secret admirer?" Artie asks.

"No, just a friend."

"Friends don't send other friends roses."

"My friends do."

"Pfft. You don't even know who it is."

He hates that Puck and Artie have a point, but he ignores them and goes to collect his lunch. When he gets back to the table there is another bouquet of flowers, this one far more elaborate, larger and hiding a person behind them. He places his tray on the table, looking around the cafeteria to note that once again he's the centre of attention again.

"Mr Hummel?"

"Yeah, that's him," Puck says, and he shoots him a dirty look.

"Can you sign here please?"

A handheld digital device is thrust toward him along with a stylus and he scribbles his name before being handed the large floral arrangement. It has a vase and everything, and he places it on the table. The note he's looking for is whipped off too quickly and Artie is opening it, wheeling in reverse to avoid him grabbing for it and he reads it out loud. Who needs enemies when you have friends like this?

"Hope you have a nice day. A secret admirer."

"Oh, seems we have a battle for your affections…"

He really wants to tell both of them to F off but instead he takes the proffered note from Artie and sits down to eat his lunch. He'll need help getting it all to his car anyway.

**LSY**

"Hey man," Az greets as he settles himself on the sofa with his milk and cake, letting Adam and Lily rest on each of his legs.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Good. Crazy at school today. Chicks are crazy."

"Yeah well, you would know…"

Although he knows as well, Honey had given him a card in person this morning and later he'd received a jar of honey  _'anonymously'_  with a not-so-subtle note saying he could lick it off the giver's body. He'd made a very public display of giving the jar to Nathan telling him very loudly he didn't like honey. Some of the guys nearby had snickered under their breaths, and Carl had narrowed his eyes. He's been cornered later, asked why he wasn't interested in what was a sure thing in Honey and the answer had frozen in his throat. There's being honest, but there's also not getting beaten up.

He'd made some blasé comment about actually enjoying the chase, and how Honey really wasn't his type. He liked height, and someone with a bit of a fire. He hadn't wanted to do it, but he'd pulled out his phone and showed him a picture of Santana, listed what he viewed as her positive attributes and Carl had taken and look and nodded approvingly, passing comment that Honey definitely wasn't in her league. He'd agreed, mainly because he considers Santana in a league of her own.

The encounter had put him on edge for the rest of the day though and he'd been glad to leave for home, because even Terence and Nate had managed to annoy him a bit. He'd just decided they were all high on the candy being passed around by girls who refused to eat an entire box.

"Yeah, I would know. I tried to give Ellie a rose, picked it out especially and everything, and she just handed it back to me and told me I should hold on to it."

He winces, because rejection sucks in all forms, which is why he's been trying to let Honey down gently; but he's thinking that taking a front page ad on the front page of the Lima Tribune might be too subtle for her.

"So, Hummel got a lot of gifts today. You send him anything?"

"I—what?"

"He got balloons, and some yellow roses and then at lunch this massive display thing that looked like it belonged in a shop window or something. Fancy."

"No, I didn't send him anything… do you think I should have?"

Oh fuck, now he's starting to worry that maybe he should have considered sending Kurt something, except he's pretty sure Kurt isn't ready for anything, and he doesn't want to put any pressure on him.

"Dude. He got so much today some girls were seriously jealous, and he doesn't even have a special someone spoiling him. Just saying."

"I… even if I had sent something I don't think Kurt would be interested in me. In any guy right now…"

"So… the rumors I heard a couple of months ago were true then?"

"Ah… maybe. Depends. You should ask Kurt."

"Hmm. Okay."

They exchange a silent loaded look, he's gotten good at keeping other people's secrets, having guarded his own so closely for many years and Az nods once slowly. Normally they'd play Halo, but Claire had asked if he minded looking after the twins while she had a nap, and he knew Az wouldn't mind. They build block towers just so Adam can knock them down and Lily is fascinated with the short tight curls on Az's head.

The next day at school Nate sidles up to him to walk into the main building, Terence swinging away from the main group of jocks to join them.

"So, did you hear from Kurt last night?"

"No. Why?"

"Yeah, why should he have heard from Kurt? Tonight's their date night," Terence says, hiding a smile.

"I just thought that maybe with it being Valentine's Day yesterday you guys might have seen each other or something."

"No… Kurt and I are just friends. Anything more than that gets complicated. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Dude, you guys might just be friends, but it's obvious you'd go out with him in a heartbeat if he crooked his finger at you," Terence states.

"Fuck off. It's more complicated then that. He's not in a place for another boyfriend and I'd be the last person he'd consider anyway. Jesus, you're both as bad as Az…"

"Wait, what did Az say?"

"Same as you guys. Just he gets a bit more of where Kurt is coming from. Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

"I…might have done something you might not like," Nate says, face scrunched up in consideration.

"Oh fuck, what?"

"I sent him some flowers anonymously, thinking that maybe he'd think they were from you…"

"What?  _Why_?"

"Shit. I did that too."

"Oh fuck. Both of you?"

"Well, it's not like you were helping your love life along yourself, especially with the whole Honey situation."

"Oh god, how did you even know where to send them?" What Az was saying yesterday suddenly makes a lot of sense and if there was a handy wall or desk he'd bang his head against it helplessly. He tunes back in to their conversation to hear that Terence sent yellow roses and Nathan sent a large floral arrangement. Great. He can't believe how out of control he feels of his life sometimes and he can't believe how unhelpful his fucking friends are.

**LSY**

"Dave? Where are you?"

He pokes his head around the corner and pulls his shirt down quickly, the one he's just removed covered in spaghetti sauce courtesy of the twins enthusiastic approval of dinner. He's taken to helping even more, wanting to spend as much time with the twins as he can before he has to make a decision about possibly moving away.

"Sorry, just needed to change. Dinner was messy."

"I can tell, you have sauce on your face."

"Gah. I cleaned them up, but didn't even think to check myself. Is it bad?"

"Uh, yeah. You might want to go and check a mirror." Dave sighs and motions Kurt to follow him. "So, uh, I have a questions, but it's kind of embarrassing… did you, um, happen to send me anything yesterday?"

His head snaps up from the sink where he's washing his face and he blinks water out of his eyes, but even with his slightly blurred vision he can tell Kurt is chewing the inside of his cheek, lips pursed slightly and studying the floor. Fuck, maybe he should have sent something, because it's slightly better than the truth that he needs to tell him.

"I -? No… I didn't." He actually feels like apologizing for not sending anything.

"Oh." He'd swear Kurt sounds disappointed, but he knows it could easily just be wishful thinking and he needs to be as objective as possible. "It's just, I got two lots of flowers delivered yesterday, and I'm trying to figure out who they're from and I thought that maybe… sorry. Just me being silly."

Oh god. He wants to tell him he isn't being silly, because he'd  _shower_  Kurt in flowers if he thought it would be welcome, but he can't imagine him ever being okay with that.

"I know who sent the flowers. Uh… it's kind of embarrassing."

"What? Why? For you or for me?"

"Both? I don't know. It was Terence and Nate, they both separately sent you flowers. They, uh, seem to think I have a thing for you or something. I explained we were just friends…" he shrugs and hopes that encapsulates how useless he feels, that he doesn't expect more than friendship. That he considers himself lucky to have Kurt's friendship at all.

"Oh. Well… wow. So my Valentines Day consisted of receiving balloons from my two closest girlfriends, flowers from two straight guys and a completely unromantic father-son dinner."

He glances up again to see Kurt looking sad and it makes him feel sadder but there's one thing he can say that might make him feel a bit better. Terence had said he could tell Kurt if he wanted, he's okay with Kurt knowing.

"Well, if it's any consolation one of the straight guys isn't actually straight."

Kurt's surprised ' _oh'_  makes him smile and he grins in reply.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reminder of what happened originally with the whole car-scene and Blaine being drugged by Sebastian. Another reminder that this is an AU from the First Time. This chapter got away on me. I've cut it in half. Sorry about that. You'll have to wait for the next chapter for Dave jumping to conclusions.

"We need to talk."

If it were anyone else his blood would have run cold, but Honey doesn't make his blood do  _anything_  so he just lets out a long sigh and tries to think of a place where they can go and talk privately while still be public, because he wouldn't put it past her to try something. Or tie him up and leave him naked somewhere. She looks pretty pissed off with him. He waves a hand in farewell to Terence and Nate as she tugs him determinedly down the hallway.

So he ignored her overtures on Valentine's, but it's not like he had any choice. Even simple thanks would have been taken as encouragement and he doesn't want to encourage her at all. He leads her into the gymnasium. There's a class trying to learn basketball but the stands are empty and he heads up to the top, knowing they'll be able to talk but not be overheard and hopefully stop any rumors that they snuck off to make out in their tracks. Honey doesn't look like she is about to say anything so he decides to try prompting her.

"You said you wanted to talk?"

"Why do you not want to go out with me?" Rubbing his face with his hands he lets out a long resigned sigh. "I've done everything I can think of! Do you not like me?"

The last is asked quietly and  _fuck_  he's pretty sure she's on the verge of crying, which isn't something he can deal with. But he doesn't like her, not this slightly, no, _very_ , obsessive and driven girl that seems to completely disregard every word from his mouth.

"Look Honey, it's not that I don't like you, but I'm not ever going to go out with you okay? I'm not playing hard to get. I'm not pining after Santana." He's not saying anything she hasn't heard before, but judging from the look on her face she's actually finally listening to what he's saying, as opposed to just hearing it. "I just don't get why you want to go out with me so badly. I'm not anyone special, and I  _am_  actually gay. I didn't just say that as an excuse to not go out with you."

"I just want people to like me."

"What? Why?" He has no idea why going out with him would make people like her.

"I know people think I'm dumb, but I'm not.I want to feel like I've done something when I finish high school and… there's only three months left."

"And how is going out with me going to accomplish that exactly?"

"You're friends with everyone. You know their names, even the freaky looking ones who scare me a little."

"Well, calling them freaky looking won't earn you any points in their favor." Honey looks at him with watery eyes and he feels like he's somehow kicked a puppy or something. "Look, how about you try having lunch with me, Nate and Terence for a week, move around the tables at lunch rather than just sitting with the other cheerleaders?"

"Do I have to?"

"No. But I'm not going out with you either. If you want people to like you then you have to give them the opportunity to get to know you. The real you."

She doesn't look happy with what he's saying, and he's striking off counselor as one of his potential career choices, not that it was there in the first place, but  _hell_ , this is not his idea of a fun time. He has no idea what the real Honey is possibly like, for all he knows she could be obsessive and out of touch with reality.

"And do Nathan and Terence know the real Dave?"

"Yes."

"They know that you're  _'gay'_?"

He's pissed off at the little air quotes and snarky twist she puts on the word gay and he knows he probably looks a little angry.

"' _Yes'_." He replies, voice saccharine sweet but eyes hard. Her eyes widen.

"You told Nathan and Terence?"

"Yeah. Along with my dad, my step-mom and a few other friends. Nate and Terence are my friends. I want my friends to know shit like that about me."

She blinks and then shakes her head.

"I… really?" He nods. "I guess you really are gay then. I just, you don't seem the type."

He feels like laughing at her, but she seems so earnest and holy shit, it's taken her months to maybe believe him but it looks like she might have actually had a break through.  _About fucking time_.

"I hate to break it to you, but we come in all shapes and sizes."

"What? Guys?"

"Well, yeah. But gay guys too. There's not just one template."

She looks a little wide eyed as she takes it in, but he's pretty sure she's got it now. He stands up and she follows his lead, taking the steps back down to the court. He notices a couple of people watching them and he knows there will be rumors, but he can't stop those. They start walking back to their lockers, and he hopes this is the end of it. The sight of his own face, grinning back at him from the wall, the words  _'Dave for Prom King'_  make his stomach churn.

"What the fuck?"

"Oh. Didn't you know? You've been nominated. No one told you?"

"No," he growls out, and fucking Kara and Terence and their fucking plotting.

"Nominations close this Friday. I haven't been nominated."

He knows it's a not-so-subtle hint, but he remembers the bet she has going with the other cheerleaders, and maybe this is a way to derail Kara and Terence's plans.

"Well I'm not going."

"What? Why not? Even with a chance to be Prom King?"

"I was Prom King at my prom last year, I can't say I enjoyed the experience much."

He stomps off down the hallway, determined to find Terence and get him to explain.

**LSY**

Terence is as useful as tits on a bull and the next day at lunch when Honey joins them, and answers both Nate's and Terence's incredulous looks with a  _'Dave invited me'_  he just groans. It's a day with the drama club, which is nice and normal really. They're all slightly obsessed with the up and coming school play, practicing lines and talking about sets to pay much attention, although the addition of Honey does raise a few eyebrows. He's glad it's Friday, he can escape the insanity of school for a couple of days.

Tonight he's got a chilled evening planned with Nate and Az. His dad and Claire have already left to spend the weekend in Columbus, taking the twins with them, so he has the house to himself for the weekend, a fact he's keeping pretty quiet as he has a football game tomorrow night and doesn't want the team deciding his place is good for an after match function.

"So, is there any reason why you never sit with Vocal Adrenaline?"

Terence and Nathan both look toward him and he rolls his eyes.

"Even I have my limits. And they'd accuse me of spying or something stupid."

"Hmm. They are definitely really intense. And they're even more cliquey than us. The cheerleaders I mean. I'm probably going to have to do some serious explaining as to why I sat with you today."

She keeps talking. And  _talking_. Nathan looks like he's trying to not bust his guts laughing out loud and Terence looks quietly amused. She talks about everything and nothing and he's wondering what he might just have unleashed upon himself.

**LSY**

The beginning of March brings a bit more warmth to the air, which he luxuriates in and layers his clothes accordingly. As much as he likes his winter coat collection he much prefers the shoulder seasons and the ability to show his style off. The one thing he  _isn't_ enjoying is the histrionics of the newly re-formed glee club. Practice had been brutal and his temper has frayed enough with the in-house bickering among them that he's ready to scream. He strides into the Lima Bean, ignoring his  _no coffee past seven_  rule and orders his usual

"If it isn't gay-face. Heard you couldn't handle your boyfriend getting frisky."

He doesn't even think, doesn't pause to consider anything as he turns towards the smarmy voice and lets his fist fly. He bites back an oath at the sudden sharp shooting pain in his hand as bone crunches against Sebastian's cheek. Punching someone is harder than it looks. He forces himself to also bite back the almost automatic apology that forms. He is  _not_  apologizing for that, especially seeing as it hasn't even knocked Sebastian over, simply made him sway back a bit, surprise written all over his face. He isn't the only one surprised. He turns on his heel, leaving his coffee order and runs to his car.

His first instinct is to go home, but he knows Rachel is going to be there for dinner, with her dads. He knows Finn is planning something crazy, because he'd asked Kurt's opinion on rings. He'd begrudgingly given it, along with the advice that he was too young to get married. Finn had only been half-listening and he doesn't want to go home right now. Awkward family dinner moments — he's had enough of those. His hand is throbbing and he flexes it. Surely if it were broken it would hurt a lot more than it does, although he's pretty sure he's not imagining the swelling.

Ice. He needs ice. He pulls out his phone and then slides it back into his pocket. Dave has ice, and he knows he's home tonight. He drives carefully, the changing of gears making his hand ache slightly. He parks and heads for the door, unsure if he should knock or just go in. They expect him on Wednesdays, and sometimes Tuesdays as well, but this is a Friday, and apart from New Year's he's not really here to socialize with others, and he knows Dave invites his friends from Carmel around.

He compromises by knocking and opening the door at the same time, calling out quietly. He likes that their front door is always open, not that Lima is a crime-capital or anything, but ever since he was little his dad has made sure he locked the door if he was home alone.

"Hello Kurt, how are you?"

"Hey Claire. I'm… okay. Do you think maybe I could get some ice?"

She immediately looks concerned and he briefly explains punching Sebastian, embarrassed that he resorted to violence even if a part of him feels like it's totally justified. He can hear Dave's low laughter coming from the lounge, and another voice who he suspects is Nathan laughing back. Huh. The pang of  _something_  is unexpected, and he easily recognizes it as envy. He's not sure if it's for the happy couple sounds, or that Dave is apparently no longer single and hasn't told him or… something else entirely. It worries him a bit that it might actually be  _something else_.

He shakes his head and follows Claire through to the kitchen and allows her to fuss for a bit. He's in two minds as to whether to leave and face the awkward dinner at home, or to stay and be a third wheel. Although maybe Az is here and is feeling distinctly uncomfortable with being the third-wheel already. He accepts the ice-pack gratefully and heads for the lounge and only pauses slightly at the sight of Nathan laying full length on the sofa with his feet in Dave's lap.

"Hey."

"Hey. Kurt. What are you —what did you do to your hand?"

"I punched Sebastian."

"What? When? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just some bruised knuckles maybe. I have no idea how Noah broke Blaine's nose. Punching someone really hurts."

"Is there some fight club I need to be made aware of?" Nathan asks, sitting up and looking interested and Kurt shakes his head.

"Just drama. And a smarmy asshole life-ruiner."

Nathan looks at him with raised eyebrows and he waves his good hand in dismissal, shaking his head, because it's not important enough to go into. He sits in the comfortable one-seater Dave had indicated he should sit in on his first ever visit here and smiles at the irony that he is comfortable here, in this house and with Dave for company. More than comfortable.

"I know I'm not meant to support violence, but did you knock him over?"

"No. Shocked him more than anything I think. What were you guys doing?"

"Talking about Honey. She's joined forces with Kara."

He's heard everything about the Honey saga, Dave filling him in with wild theories about plots and Prom King nominations and how he's just refusing to go to Prom at all this year, which he completely gets because he doubts he'll go either.

"What are they trying to do now?"

"Ensure I go to prom."

"It's okay, we can avoid prom together. I can't say I have ever enjoyed them," Nathan states, and Kurt supposes he's probably had horrible experiences as well. What a sad bunch they are, although the idea of Dave and Nathan avoiding prom together almost sounds like an admission of togetherness and he decides to go, standing to leave even though he knows he's only been here a few minutes and it seems a little erratic.

"I'm going to go home. I should have just gone straight home, but I kind of wanted to avoid Rachel and her dads. You two enjoy your… uh, evening."

The look Dave gives him is clearly confused, and okay, so maybe he's reading everything wrong, but Nathan is giggling,  _giggling,_  and lying back down on the sofa. He's not going to be a third-wheel to Dave's potential happiness and first boyfriend or… whatever it is going to be.

He's  _not_.


	14. Chapter 14

Everything continues as normal. He tells his dad about punching Sebastian and he can tell his dad is torn between congratulating him and telling him violence is not an answer. He accepts the shoulder squeeze for what it is and carries on. At school he deliberately seeks out Blaine and tells him as well and they share tight sad smiles. The fear he thought would never fade is no longer an ever present dark cloud in his mind, and he can tell by the urge to hug Blaine that he's healing emotionally.

A couple of weeks pass, and Dave doesn't mention anything about suddenly having a boyfriend, so he's not sure if he's read the situation wrong, or whether Dave truly wouldn't tell him because he doesn't want Kurt to feel left out. They've hung out as a group once, and he hadn't seen anything that made him think they were a couple, but Nathan had kept looking between him and Dave and smiling, and he's pretty sure he's missing something.

He arranges to meet Mercedes for lunch at the mall but heads there early, wanting to have a good look around for any bargains, or ideas for clothes he can perhaps make himself. He likes the therapeutic nature of sewing, although he does end up swearing and cursing at the machine more often than not. He's coming out of a store when he almost hits a solid wall of…

"Terence. Hi."

"Hey Kurt. Out shopping?"

"Window shopping mainly. You?"

"My little sister wanted a ride. I'm just killing time until she's ready to leave. It might be  _hours._ "

He grins at the evident pain in Terence's voice. He's not spent any real time with him, from what he gathers they have nothing in common except their mutual friendship with Dave. However he seems like a nice enough guy. One that sent him flowers, which reminds him.

"Thank you for sending the flowers. Unnecessary. But appreciated nonetheless."

"Unnecessary? To try and get Dave moving? Nothing will get him moving, except maybe a hot poker up his ass. I mean… uh. I… we…"

He seems embarrassed by his language but Kurt frowns, remembering Dave mentioning how both Nathan and Terence sent him flowers because they thought Dave liked him…

"Well, I think you got it a bit wrong. Dave seems perfectly happy making his moves on Nathan, so we'll just leave them to it…" Kurt says, and he knows he's digging a little bit, because if anyone knows if they're a couple then it will be Terence. Except all he's doing is looking confused.

" _Nathan_  Nathan?  _Huh_?"

"Mmm. I saw them cuddling up on the sofa a couple of weeks ago when I went round to Dave's."

"Uh… I think you might be imagining things. I mean, I know Nathan has like no personal boundaries with people he trusts, but, uh… whatever you saw probably isn't what you think you saw."

"It's okay, Dave told me about Nathan."

"Told you what?"

"That Nathan's gay…"

"Uh. No he isn't."

"But Dave said… well, he implied that he was gay."

"Really? How did he do that exactly?"

"Um…" he casts his mind back, trying to remember what it was Dave said exactly. "He said that one of the straight guys wasn't actually straight…"

"And what, you just assumed it was Nate huh?"

The look on Terence's face is odd, and he doesn't really get it, and then…

"Oh.  _Oh_. You?" Terence shrugs, looking away, and he snaps his mouth closed and blinks. He hadn't been expecting that.  _At all_. That kind of changes everything. "I… I think I need a coffee. Join me?"

"Why not?" Terence waves a hand in the direction of the cafe and he leads the way, ordering a coffee and a muffin so he has something to do with his hands before selecting a quiet corner table at the back. When Terence slides into the chair opposite him, legs scrunching up he immediately offers to switch seats so Terence can actually sit comfortably, as opposed to looking like he's trying to cover his ears with his knees. They sit in silence for a couple of minutes, and he has a few questions he wants to ask, but he doesn't want to offend Terence.

"So, I gather you aren't out at school?"

"Nope. Two whole people know now, not even Nate knows."

"I… really?" Terence nods and he feels touched that this guy, who is pretty much a stranger to him, trusts him so implicitly.

"Let's just say my family won't take it well. At all. We can't all be as lucky as Dave."

"Or me. My dad's pretty fantastic. My whole family is."

"You're lucky. So…"

Kurt laughs, because he's pretty sure they've just exhausted their limited topics of conversation already.

"Yeah,  _so_."

"How long have you been friends with Dave?"

"Friends? Um. Interesting question. A few months now I suppose."

"Wait. I thought you guys were friends from when he went to McKinley."

Kurt bites his lip, Dave had told him he'd shared all his reasons for leaving McKinley, but he guesses maybe Terence wasn't listening, or didn't believe him.

"Dave definitely wasn't a friend. He was more like my tormentor. You have any bullies in your school?"

"Yeah. You mean Dave actually really bullied you? Why?"

"Why do you think?" Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh shit. That's screwed up."

"Hmm. Maybe. Common enough though."

"What changed? You guys seem pretty tight, but I guess your history explains why Dave isn't making a move despite how much he obviously likes you."

"What?"

"You haven't noticed?"

"Noticed  _what?_ "

"The way he looks at you. Like… it's kind of sad now that I think of it, because maybe he think you'd never be interested because he used to bully you."

Kurt shakes his head automatically. It's been over a year and a half since Dave bullied him, they've overcome that, but…

"It's not just that."

He hasn't talked about that night in a long time now, but he decides to share the facts with Terence. Sharing something equally personal and private in return, although he had never planned to. Terence doesn't interrupt, or exclaim, or say anything, face impassive up until the point when he mentions how he punched Sebastian and then it's done and Terence slides his coffee across the table and he takes a long sip, hands shaking slightly.

"You ever think about doing a self defense class?"

"What?"

"Self defense. Or martial arts. Might help. If you're interested you could come and try it out. Could teach you some tricks."

"What?" Kurt repeats and Terence looks amused.

"I'm a member of a club. Karate. There's a whole range of classes, from kids only five years old to grandparents."

"Oh…"

"Here, let me give you the club card. It isn't a quick fix. Training is something you have to do regularly so it becomes second nature, but it will help build your confidence, maybe make you feel more in control."

"Thanks. I'll think about it. Really."

He doesn't know if it will help, but it isn't a stupid idea, and the idea of being able to stop something happening in the future, if he knows what to do…

"So, do you like him?"

"Who?" Kurt asks, bringing his mind back to the small café.

"Dave."

"I…" he recalls seeing Dave in his tight t-shirt, the way he is with Adam and Lily, the way he had felt thinking he was with Nathan. "Yes. Despite everything in our past.  _Yes_."

"Hmm. Lucky Dave," Terence states, and the small smile Terence gives him makes him blush as he realizes the mild compliment behind Terence's words.

The end up sitting there for over an hour, discussing what they study at school, Dave, the clothes of the people as they enter the café, Dave. He can't seem to stop the conversation from swinging back to him and maybe he should really be talking to Dave instead.

"You know, you should come to our hockey game tomorrow afternoon."

"What? Why?"

"Because you get to watch a bunch of guys armed with sticks smack into each other?"

"That's not swaying me," Kurt retorts dryly.

"Please? Just one game? Dave'll be there."

"Shockingly, I am aware that he plays hockey."

"Look… you like him. He likes you. You know that hot poker I mentioned earlier? It's going to be me."

"I don't know what kind of conversation I just walked in on, but I really don't want to know. Hi. I'm Mercedes."

"Terence."

"He's one of Dave's friends at Carmel. We've just been talking. Okay. So, I think… tomorrow sounds good. I'll see you then?"

"Sure. Catch you later Kurt."

"Later."

Mercedes loops an arm through his as they walk out, throwing a quick glance over her shoulder.

"He's cute."

"Yeah. He is." But not as cute as Dave he adds silently.

**LSY**

He showers and changes with the rest of the team after the game, actually glad to know that he's not the only gay guy there as there's general back slapping and horsing around. They didn't win, but he knows he still played a good game. The other team were just better. He dries and dresses quickly, slinging all his gear into his bag and waiting for Terence to do the same. As they exit back through to the rink Terence is looking around and then he waves, and he thinks for a second that it's Kurt. Then he  _knows_  it's Kurt, striding towards them, jacket tucked tight around his body, scarf actually wrapped around his neck as opposed to artfully draped and what the fuck?

"Kurt, you… did you just watch a hockey game?"  _My hockey game?_

"Yes. I have to say my first instinct that I wouldn't like it proved true."

"But…  _why?_ "

"I invited him," Terence states. "We had coffee yesterday, and I convinced him to come along."

Oh. He looks between them, Kurt looking bemused and shaking his head slightly and Terence looking pleased about something.  _Oh._  His stomach sinks and he's sure his heart does something pathetic as break a little.

Well  _fuck_.


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey," he mutters to Claire as he stomps past her toward the laundry. He knows he'll get hell if he doesn't put his hockey gear on to wash immediately, and with the funk he's in he really doesn't want to deal with any additional drama right now. He just wants to go to his room and sulk for a bit.

"I take it your team lost?" Claire calls out, and he really isn't in the mood to talk.

"Yep."

"You need ice for anything?" Claire asks, coming to stand in the doorway to the wash house and he lets out a long sigh. He knows she's only trying to be helpful, but he  _really_  doesn't want to talk.

"No."

"You okay?" He's not, but he really doesn't want to talk so he just shrugs, shoving the gear into the machine and turning it on. "Okay. I'll leave you to it. You know where I am if you want to talk."

He lets out a grunt and nods quickly, glad she's not going to push the issue or try and drag out of him. She turns and leaves, and he braces himself over the washing machine, wondering why exactly he feels so crap.

It's not like he suddenly expected Kurt to be interested in him, not really, and he completely gets why Terence is interested, because what guy wouldn't be interested in Kurt? And he already knew Terence thought Kurt was cute. Part of him is worried for Kurt, but he also knows Kurt is more than capable of looking after himself. Resisting the urge to kick the washing machine he clomps up the stairs and throws himself on his bed.

The idea that Kurt and Terence somehow met up yesterday for a coffee date… he really didn't see that coming when he told Kurt that Terence was gay. He doesn't even know how they got each other's numbers. Considering Terence isn't even out to his family he didn't think Kurt would ever be interested in a guy who wasn't honest about himself. But it isn't up to him who Kurt is and isn't interested in and he slumps further into his bed, wondering if it can maybe swallow him up.

Next day at school his mind is still dwelling on it, and he knows he been in a foul mood, Claire's silently raised eyebrow and significant looks exchanged with his dad over the table during breakfast had told him that he was being a bit of an ass, with even Adam and Lily's oatmeal eating not able to improve his mood. He sits in his car for a few minutes, trying to improve his mood by sheer force of will power. When he gets out and meets Nathan at their usual meeting place Nate's look of concern tells him he's failed. They talk about the game yesterday, what Nathan did in the weekend and about the up-and-coming English assignment they have due.

"Dude, what is your problem? It's like someone kicked your puppy or something."

"Nothing."

"Pfft. Fuck off, I know something's up. If you don't want to tell me that's fine."

"Just… I don't. I can't talk about it."

"Whatever man."

"No, seriously, I can't tell you without telling you stuff, and it's not my place to tell you that sort of shit."

"Right. That made no sense. Just so you know."

Dave sighs and closes his eyes, wishing he could somehow make Nate just understand everything without him having to go over it.

"Have you ever wanted something, but known you'll never have it. But you don't stop wanting it, and then you see someone else with it, and it just makes you think that you really will never have it?"

"Dude. I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Nothing. Just… don't worry about it."

"Uh, no. I think I will worry about it, because quite frankly hanging out with you when you're a sack of sad potatoes is  _not_  my idea of a good time."

"Fuck off."

"Tempting actually."

"What's tempting?" Terence asks, and he has to stop himself from actually glaring at him. Fuck, it's not  _his_  fault. He really needs to get a grip on himself.

"Leaving Mr Mopey here to his misery. For some reason he won't share he's down in the dumps."

"Oh really? Well… I think I might have a good idea why," replies Terence and this time he does shoot him a little glare, because the guy actually sounds smug.

"Did you guys have a fight? Cause I feel like I am missing something really big right now."

"Nate, I'm gay."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Huh. I don't know how I should feel about that. Wait, did you guys have a one night stand or something?"

Terence cracks up laughing at that and even Dave has to crack a smile, although his mind is traitorously muttering ' _'or something alright!'_  
"No. I don't think I'm Dave's type exactly."

"No, he's far too fixated on Kurt."

"Yep," Terence agrees and his eyes shoot up to meet Terence and there's definitely a glitter of challenge there.  _Bastard._  Terence knows and he's still gone out on a date with Kurt or something.

"Screw this. I'm going to class. See you guys later."

He slings his bag over his shoulder and strides toward the building, leaving Nate and Terence calling after him.

**LSY**

He's pretty sure Terence has taken it a little bit too far, and when he gets a text message from Terence saying pretty much exactly that he quickly sends a reply, telling him he'll sort it out. He'll go and see Dave after school today. Talk to him. Properly. The sudden flare of nerves when he considers what he'll say are hard to ignore, but he tamps them down and tries to pay attention to the material in class.

Of course the day seems to drag, but it gives him the opportunity to go over and over in his head what he needs to say. What he wants to say. He hadn't actually thought that Terence was right, that Dave liked him, but yesterday, seeing Dave's expression when he thought him and Terence where somehow together… it had convinced him, and he'd wanted to talk to him immediately. Except Terrence had held him back, told him to let Dave think about it and sleep on it.

He'd reluctantly agreed, and today he'd haltingly asked Az whether he thought Dave might like him, just to get a second opinion on the matter. Azimio had laughed in his face, which he'd immediately taken as a no. But then Az had stopped laughing, wiped his eyes and said ' _of course he does.'_  So he's been a bit blind to it all, but he hasn't exactly been looking for someone to like him. It's kind of snuck up on him, and he has no idea if he's actually ready to go out with anyone again.

Dave is wonderful though, and he likes Kurt and Kurt likes Dave in return. He just isn't exactly sure where they can go with that exactly. He drives around to Dave's place, considering the words and possibilities in his head. Because while Dave might like him, he might not actually want to date anyone. He parks his car and hops out, wondering if he should have maybe texted Dave and warned him. Asked if they could talk. No. That would probably give him ideas and he nods his head decisively. He's done the right thing.

"Kurt. Hi. It's not Wednesday is it? I mean, I know I'm a bit loopy at the moment but I don't think I've somehow lost two days."

"No. No, it's Monday. I was just wanting to talk to Dave. Is he home yet?"

"Sounds serious. This have anything to do with the massive sulk he's been in since he got home yesterday?"

He grins and lowers his head, murmurs a quiet  _'maybe'_ under his breath.

"Do you want to go on up or…?"

"Uh. Yeah. I think I'll go up. Thanks."

"No problem. You staying for dinner?"

"Thanks, but I should probably go home for dinner. Carol will be expecting me."

"Okay."

He smiles and heads toward the stairs, remembering the time he took these the first time, and how comfortable he now is in this home. Dave's door is closed and he knocks, patiently waiting for an answer. After a couple of minutes of nothing he tries again, knocking a bit louder. Still nothing. He'd open the door, except he knows what dangerous territory that can be but he might not have any choice.

"Oh, you'll need to open the door. He's listening to music on his headphones. Being all mopey and emotional," Claire states as she walks past him towards the nursery.

"Oh. Okay. Thanks."

He is still hesitant, pushing the door open slowly, but he doesn't hear any word of protest. Once the door is open he can see him, eyes closed but headphones very clearly covering his ears, arms bent with his head resting on his hands and… yeah, jeans a t-shirt are a good look on him, especially with no baggy over shirt hiding everything. It's not the first time he's caught himself admiring Dave, and he knows it won't be the last.

He's unsure whether to go and prod him, alert him to his presence, so just satisfies with watching him for a few moments; the quiet sound of Dave humming along to whatever music it is he's listening to. He's not sure if Dave senses him watching, but his eyes open and then open even wider in surprise.

"Kurt. Hey. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you. Can we go for a walk?"

He wants something to do with the nervous energy in his body, and remove himself out of Dave's bedroom all in one move, and Dave is nodding and agreeing, getting up and grabbing his jacket as he heads toward his bedroom door. It's not cold when they get outside, but the breeze still holds a nippy bite of winter and he wraps his scarf around his neck slightly tighter and wonders where to start as he follows Dave's lead down the street.

"I need to talk.  _We_  need to talk," he amends.

"I. Yeah. But… I know about you and Terence. I mean. I figured it out."

He snorts in amusement and shakes his head, although he's pretty sure Dave doesn't see him with the way his head is bent, hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket.

"I imagine you figured it out the same way I figured out that you and Nathan were dating."

 _That_  gets an immediate response, eyes wide and confused look.

"What?"

"Mmm. I think we've been doing really well at  _not_  talking. I thought, wrongly I know now, that you and Nathan were a couple."

"But Nathan's straight."

"Yes. I know.  _Now_. Terence corrected me."

"But, I told you Terence was gay…"

"No Dave, you told me one of the guys that sent me flowers was not straight. You didn't actually specify who."

"Didn't I?"

"No. Terence told me yesterday that he's gay. Saturday I mean. We bumped into each other at the mall."

"Oh."

"Mmm. We talked a lot actually. And he's not an overly talkative guy normally."

"No. He's not. Wait… so you guys didn't have a date on Saturday?"

"No. We just bumped into each other."

"Oh."

He's partly amused by Dave's apparent confusion, although he doesn't really understand why Dave was so quick to jump to the conclusion they were dating. It wasn't like he saw him and Terence almost curled up together on a sofa and there's nothing for it except to ask.

"So you just assumed that Terence and I were going out?"

"Well… yeah. I mean. He thinks you're cute."

He can't help the little thrill that Dave and Terence have  _talked_  about him like that. He wonders if Dave thinks he's cute, although he'd never ask that, he'd die of embarrassment, even if he's pretty sure he's on that path as it is.

"You need more than just thinking someone is cute to date them."

Dave shrugs, burrowing his hands deeper into his jacket pockets.

"You came and watched him play hockey."

Dave sounds almost sullen and he bites his lip to hold back a little laugh,

"Only because you were going to be there."

That announcement makes Dave actually stop walking and he turns toward him and his stomach is apparently trying out for the Cheerios, flips and somersaults on repeat. Dave just stares at him, and he doesn't know what to say.  _I like you. I thought you were dating Nathan and I was jealous. I want to see if we can maybe try… something. But I feel a bit screwed up still._  He doesn't say any of it, just stares back at Dave, chewing his lip and smiling nervously, wondering if he needs to spell it out.

"Me?" Dave asks and Kurt nods, unable to say anything. "Really?" He nods again. "Wow…"

A slow smile breaks out, transforming Dave's worried and confused expression to that of delight, and he can't stop a similar smile taking over his own face and they both duck their heads and look away from one another. He's not sure how it has suddenly become awkward, but it has. The urge to giggle is there, but he refuses to let that win-out, instead bumping Dave's arm with his own. Dave's eyes flick up to meet his for a brief second, and he's still smiling, but also looks as shy as Kurt feels.

"So, uh, what does this, um, mean exactly?"

"I don't know exactly. Whatever we want it to mean I guess."

"Oh."

"What do you want it to mean?" Dave shrugs, and the confused look is back, although he knows Dave probably wants to leave it up to him. "I like the idea of calling you my boyfriend…"

"I… yeah. Me too. I mean –"

"I know what you mean."

They're smiling at each other again, and he knows his dad would be muttering under his breath about lovesick idiots, and he doesn't know if it's love, but he's more than ready to find out.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have really enjoyed writing the last few chapter (from Valentine's Day onwards), solely because I have had these events stuck in my head since the beginning of "Into the Light" and to FINALLY get here, well, it's just as much of a relief to me as it is for you. I have no idea how many chapters there are left to go and there is a fair bit I still have planned out in my head.

His hand is still raised in farewell long after Kurt has driven off and he heads back inside, still feeling a little out of touch with reality and a bit shocked. He must be grinning though, because Claire raises and eyebrow and places a hand on her hip.

"Well, someone is in a much better mood."

"I, yeah. Sorry about that."

"Mmm. Want to share the reason you're suddenly a little ray of sunshine?"

"Ah, well, Kurt's my boyfriend now."

He grins and ducks his head, because while he might have fantasized in his head a couple of times he never imagined that he might actually be able to say that and have it be the truth.

"And this is a new development?" She actually sounds honestly curious and it draws him out of his musings completely.

"I – of course!"

"Oh. I wondered if maybe you were together and just not telling anyone."

"No. No, we've just been friends, but now…"

The weight of what they are crashes down around him; him with his not-quite-out status, Kurt and whatever issues he might still need to deal with and then their combined history and  _fucking hell_ , this already seems too difficult.  _No_. He won't let himself think like that. Anything really worthwhile has to be worked at right? Kurt's more than worth it.

"Dave? David?"

"Sorry, what?"

"I was asking if you were alright, because you went all pale for a second there…"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just…"

"A little freaked out? You kind of look a little freaked out."

" _Thanks_ Claire." She grins and pats him on the shoulder, eyes crinkling as she tells him it's her pleasure. He rolls his eyes and heads further inside the house.

The next day at school he punches Terence on the arm, not holding back any force and he glares at him before breaking in to a big grin.

"Thanks man. I obviously had my head up my ass."

"Well, you definitely had  _something_  stuck up there. I mean, the rate you were moving I was pretty sure it was both your legs, but whatever man…"

"I couldn't move fast. It's Kurt. And uh…" he shifts on his feet, unwilling to share with Terence exactly why he's been so hesitant about even  _thinking_  about dating Kurt.

"He told me about what happened. With his ex and stuff."

"He did?"

"Yep."

"Huh. That's… good I guess." And it  _is_ good. That Kurt is talking about it, is  _able_  to talk about it, and actually, now that he thinks about it, if Kurt is happy hanging out with Terence, then he should be more than okay hanging out with him. Then he realizes that Kurt has been hanging out with him for months with no problems. He grins slowly, warmth spreading through him.

"Yeah, now I just need to get a girl all lined up for me."

Dave frowns, confused, then the heavy weight of a hand slapping his back has him stiffening, turning to see Carl looking at them both and he immediately understands.

" _Ladies_. What are you two gossiping about?"

"Chicks," Terence deadpans.

"Oh, you  _finally_  going to get some honey from Honey huh?"

Dave rolls his eyes but swallows heavily, suddenly nervous at the wide-eyed fear in Terence's eyes and he remembers being in that place, and he tries to convey telepathically that everything will be okay.

"As I said before Honey is… lovely. But really not my type."

"Oh Dave, that's nice of you to say," he feels a hug from behind and then she's stepping around him. "I knew we could be friends. Now, Terence, would you mind walking me to class?"

Terence opens his mouth to say something but snaps it shuts and nods, taking her books from her without any prompting. The look in his eyes is no less fear-filled though, although for a different reason this time and Dave has to choke back the snorts of laughter at what Honey's possible response will be if she ever finds out that Terence is  _also_  gay.

"Your loss man, that is one fine piece of ass," Carl states, head cocked to the side as he watches them walk away.

**LSY**

He keeps it to himself for about a day, mulling it over in his head and swinging between delight and dread. He needs to tell his dad, and his friends, but he isn't exactly sure how to word it. He knows that Dave is definitely considered a friend of his now, but he doesn't know if the transition from friend to  _boyfriend_  will be okay with his dad. He's still internally wavering about it himself. Well, not wavering exactly, but he doesn't want to think about it too hard just incase he freaks out. He likes Dave, knows he finds him attractive at a base level, but the idea of doing anything more than sitting beside him on the sofa makes him feel a little panicky. Despite his relationship with Blaine he feels like everything is new, a bit scary and unknown.

He realizes then that Dave probably feels the same way, and giving it some more thought he knows Dave has always been mindful of his feelings. Even when they were just starting out as friends he'd noted Dave was always careful not to crowd him. He relaxes a bit, thinking about that, knowing he won't have to spell everything out, that Dave is perceptive enough. He feels more confident about it when he steps into his dad's garage.

"Hey Kurt, what are you doing here? Everything okay?"

"Hey dad. I just… need to tell you something."

" _Okay_ ," his dad says, drawing the word out slowly, as if he knows it's something Kurt doesn't really especially want to tell him.

"I – "  _have a new boyfriend? Dave is my boyfriend now?_ "So, yes, my friendship with Dave, it's…"

"He finally ask you out huh?"

"What?"

"That boy looks at you like you hung the moon, although I didn't know if you knew it. I figured you weren't ready to start anything new."

"I don't know if I'm ready now…"

His dad just looks at him, face tense and screw the grease, he just goes and hugs him.

"I'm okay dad. I'm fine."

He gets a grunt and a quick responding hug before arms drop away and his dad steps back.

"Yes well, at least David already knows what I'm capable of."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Just… I might have scared him about giving you crap last year."

"What! Dad!"

"What! I had to do something… but he seems to have really changed."

"I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't truly believe that Dave has changed. Carmel is better for him I think."

His dad nods and Kurt tells him he'll see him at dinner. It's Cake Tuesday, and he won't drop in unannounced at Dave and Azimio's bonding time, although the idea of just turning up for dinner tomorrow night suddenly seems like a much bigger deal than it should be. He's been having dinner with Dave and his family weekly for over three months, surely suddenly renaming their relationship shouldn't change that?

**LSY**

"Hey Hummel! Wait up!"

He recognizes Azimio's voice and stops, turning to face him, and in the past seeing Azimio running toward him would have engaged his flight reaction but instead now he just waits.

"Someone told me last night that you and him have hooked up. I just wanted to, you know, give you the hard word."

"Okay then. Consider the hard word taken."

"I mean it Kurt, don't mess with him. I know we're cool and all that, but you mess him up I mess you up. Okay?"

He doesn't imagine that Azimio would actually do anything more harmful to him that he hasn't already done, but he nods anyway, and god, he hopes he doesn't mess Dave up. The day passes uneventfully and before he knows it he's in front of Dave's front door. He knows it's unlocked, that all he has to do is open it and step inside, but he feels unaccountably nervous. The door opens, saving him from deliberating longer and Dave is standing there, looking equal parts nervous and amused.

"Come on, they're having a spaghetti fight."

"I,  _really_? And Claire's letting them?"

And like that the nerves just dissipate. He unwraps his scarf from his neck and hangs it on the hook which he deems  _his_  and follows Dave through to the kitchen, where Lily and Adam are sitting in their highchairs, clutching a spoon in one hand and cooked spaghetti in the other, waving it around excitedly when they see him. Thankfully there's no sauce to be flung around, although there's enough mess that he knows Dave will have to mop the floor.

"Hi Kurt."

"Hi Claire. How are you feeling?"

"Tired. But I think it's a permanent state of being now," she grins.

He tries to look sympathetic, but really he has no idea how parenthood and pregnancy work in practice.

"You guys look like you're having fun. Making a big mess for your brother to clean up," Kurt says to the twins, looking up and grinning at Dave only to have his stomach do a little flip at the shy smile Dave is aiming his way. His insides flutter nervously and he smoothes his hair before slapping his hand down to his side, swallowing and then letting out a slow breath. He glances at Dave again to find him with his head ducked and he's pretty sure he might even be blushing and he can hear Claire laughing at them, so apparently they are as awkward and amusing as they look. Great.

"I'll leave these two here as chaperones and go start the bath."

She leaves laughing, which doesn't do anything to make him feel less embarrassed but Dave passes him a warm cloth, and the easy routine of wiping sticky hands, faces and feet makes him relax slightly, and he's glad he didn't give in to the impulse to dress up before coming around. He starts on the high chairs while Dave gets a dustpan and shovel and starts picking up the pieces off the floor. Usually they'd be talking about their days at school, but he is usually the one to start the conversation and today he just feels all tongue-tied.

"So, I'm pretty sure Honey is eyeing up Terence."

His head snaps around at the quiet words and a slow grin breaks out on both their faces.

"Oh no… poor Terence.  _Poor_   _Honey._  Is it weird that I feel bad for a girl I've never met?"

Dave shakes his head.

"No, I felt kind of bad for her yesterday. Felt worse for Terence, because he's… not out. Less out than me I mean. So he might actually go along with it."

"Really? That's…" he remembers Dave going out with Santana, and at least they knew about the other.

"Sad?" He nods. "Yeah, from what he's told me his parents are really homophobic, so he's been busting his ass to get a scholarship and become self-sufficient so that he can leave for college and not look back."

"That's awful. We're really lucky aren't we…" he doesn't need an answer, but Dave is nodding as he fills a bucket with hot water. He moves the high chairs into the dining room and onto an already clean bit of floor, laughing at the twins as they start to clap at Dave as he mops the floor. This is familiar, and it's reassuring and comforting that nothing extreme has changed between them.

They work together and finally get the twins upstairs to Claire and the bath, dropping dirty clothes into the basket and knowing now where the pajamas are kept, getting them out. He gets Lily to dress and feed, and he knows now it's because she's much gentler. They have the system so well organized now he wonders what they do when he isn't here. Or what Claire does when Dave isn't here. The idea of having a new baby thrown in the mix makes him wonder how parents cope, and he knows Dave is worried about Claire and his dad coping. By the time they put the babies down conversation has eased into their regular topics, relaxed and comfortable once again.

Dinner is a fantastic meatloaf with garbanzo beans and bacon, with creamy mashed potato for mopping up the sauce and a salad. He savors it, and he tapers down the bubbling laughter when he considers that he's been eating dinner with this family weekly for months, and now, instead of feeling worried or nervous he just feels at home. He catches Dave's eye across the table and smiles, hoping to convey a little of what he's feeling.

**LSY**

It all feels completely normal, because they do this every week, but then it hits him, that this week is  _different_. The little smiles from Kurt, the pauses which felt slightly awkward until they managed to get over that, and now they're at the point where they would usually go up to his room and talk for an hour or two. Sometimes they've done homework, but most of the time they talk utter crap – he'll talk football, which he knows Kurt doesn't understand or is even interested in, and Kurt will talk music, or fashion, and he doesn't understand that, but he likes listening to Kurt being passionate about something, and he guesses that's the same reason Kurt likes hearing him talk.

Tonight though he's not sure about whether the rules have changed and they'll go up to his room still. He's pretty sure Kurt is wondering the same thing, and maybe he needs to change it up a bit. Make this different.

"You want to go and sit out in the backyard? It's warm enough…"

"For polar bears maybe… but yes, actually, that sounds nice."

"Let me go grab a couple of blankets."

He grabs the entire pile and carries them to the back door, which Kurt holds open and just eyes the large pile. He spreads one out, and then another on top, passes another to Kurt to wrap up in and save another for himself. Claire will probably chew his ear later, but he doesn't care. Right now he's making a nest of blankets on the lawn in his back garden and he relaxes slightly when Kurt drops to his knees and crosses his legs, staring up at the darkening sky. He lowers himself so he's sitting sort of beside him, but also angled enough so he doesn't have to twist to face him to talk to him either.

"See, it's not so bad. It is spring you know."

"Hmm, tell that to the permafrost."

"I don't think we get permafrost in Ohio."

" _David_."

" _Kurt_ ," he replies in the same exasperated tone, and he gets quite chuckle that makes the blanket settled over his shadow completely surplus to requirements, his body suffusing with heat at the sound of Kurt laughing. This feels a lot more date like, quite intimate with the decreasing light levels, and maybe this wasn't the brightest of ideas. His brightly lit bedroom, with the hastily tidied mess isn't exactly romantic, so may have actually been better.

"This is nice. Quiet."

"Yeah…" he agrees, and lets out a long quiet breath, glad he hasn't screwed up. He feels like he's exhausted most avenues of conversation already, and he knows from seeing couples around school that making out makes up a large portion of their time together, but he doesn't expect that with Kurt. Is glad there are multiple reasons for going slow, and he  _likes_  talking to Kurt, spending time with him. He doesn't want their friendship to be supplanted by a boyfriend-boyfriend relationship.

"Do you know anything about the stars?"

"Astronomy? Nope. Well, apart from like the little and big dipper, but I guess everyone knows those."

"Show me anyway?"

He swallow and nods, but then croaks out a  _'yes'_  and points them out, his hands shaking a bit as he points up at the sky as Kurt lies down on the blanket, wrapping the other one around him a bit like a toga, leaving one arm free. He doesn't know if he should lie down as well, or if that's a bad idea, so he sits, frozen with indecision while his neck develops a crick from staring at the sky. The slide of  _something_  along his pinky finger makes it twitch. It's so softly gentle and his head snaps toward Kurt, and he can't really see much, except lots of shadows, but then his pinky finger is being squeezed and he squeezes back, hoping that that's okay.

They lie there, talking quietly and making up funny names for imaginary constellations, pointing them out to each other. He never would have thought holding a guys _finger_  would be quite so thrilling, but it's probably because it's  _Kurt's_  finger, and this is his first everything. There's so many way he might fuck this up, but right now he feels like everything is perfect and he smiles into the night.


	17. Chapter 17

The fact that he didn't fail horribly into his first foray into dating puts him in a good mood for the rest of the week. Even Honey, Nate and Terence organizing another movie night at his place for Saturday doesn't make him the slightest bit grumpy. Even when Terence lets slip that Dave has a  _boyfriend_  now Honey's eyes light up and he can tell Terence is instantly apologetic but just hearing someone else say he has a boyfriend makes him grin.

"You have to invite him. I want to meet the guy that has stolen your heart!"

Both Nathan and Terence snicker and he rolls his eyes, because he's pretty sure whatever romantic notions Honey might have are going to be completely shot to hell. He might be a closet romantic, to go with his semi-closeted sexuality, but he's not about to woo Kurt like that. Not yet. He's pretty sure Honey has other ideas though. She's listing movies, all romantic dramas or comedies, and he's pretty sure that none of them want to see that. Terence informs her the only romantic movies he's watching is Princess Bride, and both he and Nathan crack up, even more so when Honey coyly replies with ' _as you wish'_  and then informs him she has three copies.

He and Kurt text and e-mail back and forth, and he invites him along to Saturday, saying he wants to introduce his boyfriend to his friends. He stares at the message before sending it, throat tightening and heart racing a little.  _Boyfriend_. When he gets back a  _'They've already met me. I haven't changed that much in a week.'_ He sends back a ' _Haha, Honey will be there_.' That get's an immediate acceptance. He knows Kurt has been dying of curiosity to meet her, and somehow she's wedged her way into his inner circle and made herself at home.

**LSY**

He's early, and lets himself in and heads through to the kitchen, knowing that's where they'll be from Dave's text. He's more relaxed this time, about meeting Dave's friends. Mainly because he's met them all before, except for Honey, and how scary can a girl his age be? Then he thinks of Rachel, and what Dave has told him about her, and okay, so maybe he's justified in being a little worried. Dave is sitting at the kitchen bench, watching Nathan chop stuff up as they talk about school. He walks up beside Dave and bumps into him gently as a form of greeting and they exchange quiet smiles. Nathan greets him but goes back to intently paying attention to finely slicing carrot and cucumber and Dave shrugs, informing him Nathan is apparently making them sushi for dinner.

Dave's dad and Claire have taken the twins and gone to Columbus for the weekend to look at houses, and he wishes Dave hadn't sounded so down about it when he'd told him. He gets that everyone is moving on in a few months, he's actually excited about it, his future still a little uncertain and he doesn't know yet where he'll end up. It's exhilarating. And a bit scary. The doorbell rings and the look exchanged between Nathan and Dave tells him it has to be Honey. Terence seems like a door knocker, not a bell ringer, and he wonders if the poor guy has been made to bring her here, as if this is a date.

He pauses, is it a date for him and Dave? Does just hanging out with friends constitute as a date? Before, it wouldn't have. But now… every time he spends with Dave feels special in someway, and if that isn't what a date is meant to do than he's not really sure of the purpose of them. They already know each other so well, given how much they've talked in the last few months. They haven't talked about sex though, or relationships or things like that, which he supposes is why they were both so quick to jump to conclusions about who they might be dating.

"Kurt, this is Honey, and you know Terence. Honey, this is Kurt."

"His boyfriend," Kurt adds, because he's certain Dave was thinking it, and the cute shy smile Dave gives him tells him he's one hundred percent right.

Honey looks at him, then at Dave, and then back at him before she's  _hugging_  him and he stiffens in shock at the unfamiliar contact before relaxing again, patting her awkwardly on the back before she pulls away, exclaiming how great it is to meet him, that they're going to get along  _great_  and he can see why Dave and Terence both feel a little blind-sided. She doesn't really let him get a word in, so he just smiles and nods, looking to Dave and holding back a giggle.

"You okay?" Dave asks, barely above a whisper and he looks at him again.

"Of course. I'm fine. Don't worry about me," Kurt says, and he reaches for Dave's hand and squeezes it before letting it drop back to his side. They all gather around the table and he offers Nathan a hand, which is gratefully accepted. He grins at Dave when Nathan mutters about him being completely incompetent in the kitchen. He can't fault Nathan's cooking abilities, the sushi is amazing but it's gone too fast and he's pretty sure they're going to have to order pizza later, especially when Az gets here.

Kara and Mickey have shown up, and they're funny and unassuming, he likes their easy going nature, accepting of everything around them. They're all talking about prom, the nominations for queen and king having come out the day before. Dave doesn't look impressed when they bring it up, and he turns to him.

"You've been nominated for Senior Prom King?"

"No thanks to this lot here," Dave mutters, and Kurt looks around and Kara and Terence are grinning.

"Maybe you can make it two for two?"

"Not going to happen. I'm not going," Dave states.

"You keep on saying that! Why? I'd much rather have you as my kind than any of the others… wait, what did you mean two for two?"

"You're running for Prom Queen?" Kurt asks.

"Yes, someone nominated me."

She looks blissfully pleased by this and Dave mouths ' _me_ ' at him and he can't believe that after all his grumbling Dave has gone and nominated her and he shakes his head. They're waiting for the popcorn to be ready, and Honey is telling him they're going to watch Princess Bride, that it's hers and Terence's favorite film and he's pretty sure he hears Terence mutter ' _kill me now_ ' just under Dave laughing. They all go through to the den, and it looks different with all the toys tidied away, extra spacious and he heads toward his usual spot before Honey is grabbing him and aiming him toward the large sofa.

"You two sit over there, seeing as you're the only official couple here." He notes the pointed look she gives Terence, his hunted expression and he wonders if things would be any different if he could come out. He doesn't know his story, not fully, just the little from what he told him last Saturday, which wasn't promising and he smiles at him, wondering if his eyes convey how sad he feels inside for him.

"Uh, Mickey and I are an official couple," Kara states, looking a little disgruntled as the two of them curl up together on a massive beanbag.

"But you two have never  _not_  been a couple. We need to give the  _new_  couple some room to snuggle."

"Whatever, we can snuggle fine just where we are," Kara states but he's kind of not listening anymore.  _Snuggling_. His eyes flick wildly to Dave, who looks like he's a little concerned, but he just smiles slightly and shakes his head before sitting down beside him, linking their pinkies and squeezing, but still maintaining a fairly respectable distance.

"There you go, snuggle up with him. None of us mind."

He actually sees Terence and Azimio tense up slightly, and while his initial thought of them being uncomfortable seeing him and Dave potentially snuggling doesn't seem to sit right, because they're not looking put out, they actually look… worried?  _Oh_. A quick glance at Dave and it's like a three-way silent conversation, four if they include him and he is actually amused by their concern. And touched. But he's really not that fragile. Not anymore. As if to prove it to them, and to himself, he leans into Dave, resting his head on his shoulder and his body shakes with silent amusement, earning him a gentle poke in the side from Dave. Honey puts the DVD in and then settles down beside Terence, pretty much draping herself over him and Kurt looks at Dave with wide eyes. Dave looks torn between the same sadness he felt earlier and amusement.

"There we go, three happy couples…" Honey states, pressing play on the remote and he feels Dave tense beside him.

"Uh…" Terence and Kara both start, and he catches the sudden and intense exchange between Kara and Terence. He didn't think Terence had told anyone else, but Kara clearly looks like she knows, and Terence looks like he's just  _remembered_  that she knows, and he feels like he's watching a really intense unfolding drama.

"Honey! How about we go and get some cups and drinks for everyone?"

"Actually yeah, I'm really thirsty…" Dave says, cottoning on to something, whatever it is he's trying to do, and he's not even really sure himself.

"But I – oh, okay…"

They make a show of pausing the movie, although it's not like any of them haven't seen it a dozen times before and he wonders how to broach it exactly, without outing anyone or being condescending.

"So, you seem pretty interested in Terence."

"Yeah, he's really sweet isn't he?"

"He sure is… Nathan too."

"Nathan? I'm sorry, have you seen Nathan? He's… a bit weedy for my liking."

"Oh." He'd kind of paired Nathan alongside his own build, slim and on the lean side. Although Nathan is about the same height as Finn so looks a bit more gangly maybe, he's not really been completely objective. "What about Azimio?"

"Hmm. I haven't really thought about him… why?"

"I just… I don't think Terence is interested."

"Oh. You really think so?" She looks really disappointed at the thought and he feels horrible, but better this than her chasing after him.

"I might be wrong, but I'm usually pretty good at picking up things like that."

"I just really like him. He reminds me of Dave a bit… oh." She looks embarrassed and he pats her on the arm.

"It's okay, Dave is pretty fabulous. And I've had embarrassing crushes on straight guys so I kind of know what you're feeling…"

"Really?"

"Yes.  _Really_. Anyway, I know some really nice guys I can always introduce you to." She looks at him disbelievingly and he huffs. "They're all straight. I went to a private boys boarding school for a while, and trust me, they would  _adore_  you."

She looks pleased at that, and he relaxes a little, glad her self confidence isn't completely crushed at the idea of Terence not being head over heels for her.

"Thanks Kurt. I always seem to be making an idiot of myself over guys… at least I didn't get too bad this time."

He just smiles and grabs some glasses, filling them with water.

"Oh! I remember what I wanted to ask you. What did you mean two for two? About prom?"

"Oh, just that David was prom king at our junior prom last year. And I was prom queen. A bit of a nasty prank on me, that was even worse for David. He wasn't out, and he definitely wasn't ready to dance at prom with the resident  _fag_."

"I… that's horrible."

"Yeah. Hence why he doesn't exactly want to go to his prom this year. Which is a shame, because I get the impression he's really well liked at Carmel."

"Well liked? Dave is like… one of the most popular guys in school. I know some of the guys in the football team don't like it very much, that he's kind of just swooped in and become Mr Popular."

"Oh." He hadn't realized that Dave was popular. Not that it matters, because it's clear from the people in the other room, that Dave is  _out_  to, that being popular isn't important to him anymore. Or not as much anyway.

"Right, let me take that. Oh, Nathan," she says and Nathan is standing just in the doorway and he wonders how long he's been there.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted a quick word with Kurt…"

He looks to him as if asking his permission, and he has no idea what Nathan might want to say to him but he shrugs, waving Honey away with the drinks.

"You wanted to talk?"

"Well, not really I just… noticed something earlier and I wanted to say you're not alone."

"What?"

"Uh, I might be wrong I guess, but you just looked a little, um, anxious about people touching you. And I wanted to say I get it, because I suffer from it as well and –"

"Wait. Suffer from what?"

He  _sees_  the color drain from Nathan's face and he doesn't know how, but he's somehow put his foot in it, and he knows there is something about Nathan, something that Dave wouldn't share with him, the same way Dave has reassured him that he hasn't shared what Kurt has gone through with him and…

"I was sexually assault a few months ago. By my boyfriend at the time. I've become a little… jumpy around new people. Dave knows because he found me vomiting in the parking lot after it happened. Azimio knows because I may have screamed something at my ex-boyfriend in the halls at school. Terence knows because I told him last weekend. When he shared something with me." He says it all quietly, trying to think ahead and not say anything incriminating.

"Oh. I uh… that really sucks man."

"Yes. It did. And I thought I was better, but maybe I'm not quite all the way there yet if you noticed something."

"No, I just, thought it was odd you and Dave weren't more… you know. But I guess that makes sense now." Kurt smiles and ducks his head, because he likes the idea of being a couple with Dave despite freaking out over it a little. "Well, I was going to offer you some tips about panic attacks and shit, but I guess you don't really need it."

"No, actually I wouldn't mind talking about it… are you… okay?"

"Oh, fine. Social anxiety. I'm on meds. Dave helps too, in his way, but I guess you already knew that…"

That makes him laugh a little and he nods, grinning.

David Karofsky, savior and friend to many.

Who would have thought.

**LSY**

He's not sure why Nathan suddenly disappeared, but when he reappears, Kurt trailing after him he looks between them, worried that maybe they're upset over something.  _What_ , he has no idea, but it isn't until they both smile at him reassuringly that he relaxes, instantly tensing up again when Kurt sits down beside him. He can't help but be surprised when Kurt lift his arm and indicates he should place it around his shoulders. He does it slowly, worried that this is Kurt pushing himself too far too fast, but then his head is resting on his shoulder and he  _feels_  Kurt relax against him. It's the best feeling in the world to date and then he instantly has to revise the thought when Kurt reaches for his hand and links their fingers.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Discussion of past event/s in this story arc. Also the therapy I have been to has always been fantastic, however I know there are some really bad ones out there. I fully respect the job these people do.

He thinks the worst part is that he  _remembers_  that he likes kissing. And making out. And the knowledge that he could turn Blaine on. It's now all tinged with fear. Dave has done nothing to make him afraid of him. Well, nothing in the last year or so at least, and it's all forgiven. Although sometimes he wonders if that's a part of what's holding him back. They haven't kissed each other yet, and he  _knows_  Dave is waiting for him to make that first move, and he gets it, he really does, but he just can't seem to take that leap, and the more he delays the more he works it up in his head and the bigger it seems and the harder it becomes to even think about it. It's this compounding fear that has him seeking actual professional help, his dad agreeing instantly.

That brings him to here, sitting in a stark looking office with pictures he's pretty sure are from Ikea. He's gone online and discussed it with other people, and he's been  _swamped_  with replies. It seems like everyone's an individual and has their own story. The bottom line seems to be trust though. Trusting not only the person you're with, but yourself. That's all well and good in theory, but it doesn't tell him what to do. Where to start. He gets called into the office and it's a young woman, not someone he recognizes fortunately, although he expects she probably knows who he is, it's not like he keeps a low profile.

"So Kurt, what did you have for breakfast this morning?"

"I… sorry what?"

"I just find people sometimes need to build up to sharing things with me. Starting with something small helps sometimes."

"I had a fruit salad. And some Nutella on toast. But I want to talk about fear of intimacy, not my nutritional requirements."

"Okay then," she says, smiling, and he grits his teeth a little at what he considers to be a slightly condescending slant.

He doesn't let it stop him, he talks, he's good at talking, lets it all spill out about how he met Blaine, how much he liked him, how they got together and how happy he was. That he can actually remember how happy he was, talk about it like this, it's freeing in a way he hadn't thought of before. Then he gets to the events of last November, trying to give just the bare facts rather than color it with his emotions, but he can't help it. She interjects with soft questions, clarifying some points, validating his fears and emotions. He doesn't need the validation though, he knows he has every right to feel whatever the hell he's feeling.

"So… now I'm with… someone new," he avoids saying Dave's name, Lima is a small town and he respects Dave's right to not be outed or talked about. "We haven't done anything more than hold hands, or cuddle on the sofa, but I…"

"You want to do more?" He nods. "And how did you meet your new boyfriend?"

He hesitates, because he knows it's not exactly an ideal background story, so he gives a brief outline, brushing over the harsher aspects of their history. Of course she seems to note what he's skipping over, and pries until she gets the full story, and he guesses she needs all the details to give him advice, although he's starting to suspect that he isn't going to like the answer.

"So, your current boyfriend used to bully you? And your ex-boyfriend sexually assaulted you. And your bully, now boyfriend also sexually assaulted you."

He  _really_  doesn't like her tone now.

"Used to bully me. And it was one kiss, over a year ago, and he stopped  _immediately_. Blaine did not."

"Please Kurt, there's no need to get defensive with me, I just want to make you aware that some people become accustomed to thinking that they deserve to be abused…"

"And do you really think I am one of those people? I eventually stood up to David, and I walked away from Blaine. I can't say I liked either of those experiences, or would want to repeat them, but they have made me stronger. And he would never hurt me now."

"Can you be certain of that?"

"Can anyone be certain of anything?"

**LSY**

"Kurt, hi…" he pauses, and takes a step back, because Kurt looks  _angry_. "What's wrong?"

"Just a stupid therapist."

"Oh… um. Okay?"

Kurt lets out a frustrated huff of breath and he wonders if he will get told what has happened.

"I was told that people don't change and that apparently I'm self-destructive and purposely seek out people that will hurt me.  _Physically_."

"I –  _what_?" His chest feels tight, creeping up his neck and closing up his throat and he's having difficulty breathing. Is Kurt about to break up with him? He'd understand of course, but…

"As I said,  _stupid_."

"Uh…"

"What? You don't she's right do you?"

"No! I would  _never_  hurt you. Ever." Not again he adds silently to himself, and it's one of the vows he made to himself when he started Carmel. He doesn't want to hurt  _anyone_.

"I  _know_! That's what I said to her, but she seemed to think given our history that we would never be able to have a full and balanced relationship."

"Oh…" He's really not sure what to say to that. He disagrees of course, but Kurt seems to be on a roll, talking, well, ranting really, about how much of a waste of time and money it was.

He knows his own therapy has been really worthwhile, but he wisely keeps his mouth shut, instead just shutting the door behind Kurt and guiding him toward the kitchen. He sets about making him a coffee, at a loss really as to what to say or do. He knew, theoretically, that they'd need to talk about it all, so that they could actually have a meaningful relationship. That's what his therapist has told him anyway, that it's all about communication. He just wishes it had never happened in the first place, even if it meant that Kurt was still with Blaine.

"Do you want to talk about it? With me I mean?"

"I… not right now, but… yeah. Later. I think that would be good."

He nods in agreement and slides Kurt's mug across to him. It's actually Kurt's mug, one he bought yesterday when he'd been out with Claire, and he'd been unable to resist. Of course it'll remain here, but he'd felt ridiculously giddy when he'd made the purchase.

"Mr Strong? Really?"

"Well, it was a toss up between Mr Strong and Mr Brave. I wanted Mr Bossy, but you know, that's only in the Little Miss range and I didn't want to insult you…"

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"I got you your own coffee mug. No doubt it will become all stained with the coffee you drink, and –"

"You got this for me?"

He nods, smiling slightly and shrugging. It's just a mug.

"Yeah. It's your coffee mug."

"Mr Strong. Yeah. I like that. Thanks," Kurt says, and the smile he gets just makes him feel warm all over, and he wants Kurt to smile like that more often, so maybe it  _isn't_ just a mug if it can make Kurt smile like that.

"No problem."

"So, is there any cake?"

"It's Monday."

"I know, I was being hopeful."

He laughs, glad that for now Kurt seems in a lighter mood, although he hopes they can talk things out sooner rather than later, mainly because he's found things just slip by if the opportunity is lost. Kurt still hasn't picked up the mug, and he wonders if maybe he didn't want a drink, he didn't actually ask… Except Kurt didn't stop him and – he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, knowing he's going to just end up winding himself up if he continues down that thought path. It's just the simple act of making someone coffee.

"Can we go outside?"

He nods, and it's become almost their thing, Kurt doesn't need to say anything more, just goes to the hall cupboard and grabs out two blankets and heads for the back garden. He picks up their mugs and follows. It's not nightfall, and the ground is damp, so stargazing and lying side-by-side with blankets wrapped around them doesn't seem to be the aim. He watches as Kurt spreads one blanket on the bench, folding it over and over so the firm wooden bench is more padded. Then he shakes and twirls the other so it settles down around his shoulders in what is  _clearly_  a well practiced motion. There is no blanket for him though, and he wonders if he should go inside and get a jacket, but stops when hurt holds out his arm and the edge of the blanket, inviting him under to… snuggle? He places their mugs in the ground, careful not to kick them over and sits down beside Kurt, letting him shuffle and adjust the blanket so that it covers both of them equally.

The silence between them is comfortable as they settle alongside one another, and he likes that this is easy now, companionable. He can tell Kurt is thinking, looking serious, intent and more pensive than he's seen him in a long time, but he doesn't need to distract him or fill the silence. Instead he thinks about school, how his apparent campaign for prom-king is going, with absolutely no input from him whatsoever. Kara and Honey have taken over  _completely_ , with Nathan and Terence gleefully helping, doing Honey's campaign right alongside his. He's adamant that he's not going, and Honey is just as adamant that he is.

"I'm sorry that this can't be easy. Going out with me I mean."

"What?"

"Just… I have a lot of issues. More issues."

"Kurt… I don't need easy. I don't  _want_  easy. Don't you think you enjoy something more when you have to work at it a little? Appreciate it more?"  _Not take it for granted_ , he adds silently.

"I guess. It's… I feel bad that you have to wait and deal with everything alongside with me, it's not exactly… fair?"

"Uh… but isn't that what relationships are about? Dealing with stuff with the help and support or someone else?"

"Oh… yeah, you're right."

The lapse into silence again, and he wants to point out that if they can work through this together, then it bodes well for their relationship, because most things have to be easier and potentially less embarrassing than discussing boundaries and expectations when it comes to the physical aspects of a relationship right? It has to be a good thing that they're going to try and be open about everything. He hears the front door open and waits for Claire to call out, and for once he really doesn't want to help. He wants to stay right where he is and just…  _be_. By some miracle she doesn't actually call out and he rests his cheek on the top of Kurt's head, which is resting on his shoulder. It's never going to grow old.

"I want to deal with it."

"What?"

"The whole… fear thing. I like kissing and erm, making out, but I just… get scared." He nods like he understands, even though he knows he doesn't really. He's scared as well, but in a completely different way. "It's… a matter of trust?"

That  _hurts_ , and he doesn't respond immediately, wondering if Kurt meant it that way, or whether he's misconstruing it. He knows getting upset will just shut the conversation down. He pulls away slightly, reaching for his drink to hide the real reason why but then settles back.

"Do you, uh, trust me?"

"I…you? Yes. But I think I also need to trust myself. Trust my own judgment again maybe?"

"Okay. Well I'm in no rush," Dave starts, and fuck it, he needs to be as open as possible with Kurt if they're going to move through this together and not hurt each other emotionally. "It scares me too you know? The idea of sex I mean. Exciting as well, but terrifying. Like going on a rollercoaster?"

"Oh… yeah. I know exactly what you mean. And when you get off your not sure whether to run to the end of the line and do it again or throw up…"

He laughs a little at the analogy, because yeah, maybe it is like that, but he doesn't really know yet.

"So I guess we take things slow?"

"Slows good."

The sit and finish their drinks, and he can hear Claire starting to feed Adam and Lily dinner. Kurt's phone starts buzzing and chiming in his pocket and Kurt leaves, squeezing his hand and smiling at him with such openness he feels reassured that they've actually done some good talking together. He heads back into the kitchen to help Claire clean up and she gives him the look, the one he knows asks and says ' _are you okay/I'm here if you need to talk'_ all at the same time.

"I'm good. Thanks for not interrupting. We were talking…"

"Yeah, you guys did look very intent. Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, things are good."

**LSY**

He gets home to his dad, who was unnecessarily worried about his whereabouts, given that he was meant to come straight home after his appointment with the therapist. After apologizing and promising he'll try and remember in the future he finally tells his dad how unsuccessful he feels the session was. His dad listens, in the quiet intent way he has before answering.

"I can see where she's coming from – no wait! Let me finish! In the grand scheme of things eighteen months isn't very long, and she probably can't imagine Dave changing. She doesn't know him. You do.  _I_  do. He's been getting therapy as well, and the look on his face when he brought you home that night? The look on his face when you're just in the same room as him? Kurt…" his dad lets out a long sigh. "If I thought David Karofsky was the same boy he was eighteen months ago I wouldn't let you within fifty yards of him. You wouldn't want to be within fifty yards of him. You're not stupid."

He can feel his throat tightening and the prickliness behind his eyes at the threatening tears at hearing his dad reasons about why he's okay with him seeing Dave. He lets them spill over and lets his dad wrap him in a tight hug.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. It's just been an emotional afternoon. Dave and I talked a lot. We're just… we're good. He's pretty amazing."

"Good.  _Good_. You deserve amazing."

He feels emotionally shattered when he goes to bed that night, drained in a way he hasn't felt in a long time, but at the same time it feels good, like he's dealt with things he wasn't even aware he needed to deal with.

A week later he's at Dave's again, for Wednesday family dinner night, and he watches as Dave talks, and he wonders what it would be like, kissing Dave. To be kissed by him. He can't remember the first kiss, not really, too fuelled with fear and adrenaline, but he imagines Dave would start soft, tiny little butterfly kisses that would barely brush his skin… He carries on as usual, but his mind keeps coming back to wondering, and  _this_  is what he wanted to know how to deal with. He wants a kiss. Just a soft kiss goodbye, but he doesn't know how to ask for it…

"Kurt, are you alright? You seem a little distracted tonight."

"Uh, yeah. I am a little distracted. Sorry. I think I might head home."

"Okay."

Dave walks him to his car, as per usual, fingers entwining and squeezing in comfort, just letting him know that Dave's there. He likes how Dave doesn't push him to talk, that they have developed a strong foundation already with their friendship and communication. He pauses and turns before unlocking his car, just stepping that much closer into Dave's personal space, putting them almost nose-to-nose. He wants to do it, just  _fucking_ do it already, but it's as if he's got a glass wall in front of him. He just stares, Dave's eyes and lips mainly, but also his beauty spot and stubble, and he realizes Dave is staring back.

"Kurt? Are you… do you want me to kiss you?" He nods silently, cheeks heating, heart beating faster. "Do you want to kiss me?" He nods again, starting to feel a little ridiculous. "Can I kiss you?" He nods and squeezes his eyes shut, unable to believe just how pathetic he feels right now.

"Kurt… please… look at me. I need you to tell me it's okay…"

"It's okay…" he manages, barely audible to his own ears but Dave whispers ' _okay'_ back just as quietly.

Dave doesn't cup his cheeks or pull him closer, just leans forward the two inches and presses, soft and quick, and then it's over. The fact that he feels it was over too fast makes him let out a little nervous giggle and he rubs his face into the front of Dave's shirt.

"Just so you know, just because you say okay now, doesn't mean you say okay to every time in the future. You say no and I stop immediately, okay?"

Kurt nods into his chest, smiling even though Dave can't see him, although he's pretty sure Dave doesn't need to see it to know just how happy he feels right now.


	19. Chapter 19

The next day at school he can't stop grinning every time he thinks about Dave, and their gentle brush of lips. It had been… exactly what he wanted, and it feels like he's made this enormous step forward and hasn't even done anything. He knows it must show, because Mercedes grabs his arm and asks him what is up as soon as he stops by his locker. He doesn't  _want_  to tell her, but suspects she'll work on him all day and he really doesn't know if he can be bothered righting her off, especially if she decides she needs reinforcements in the form of Santana, Rachel and Tina.

"I… Dave kissed me last night. Just… it was really… perfect."

"Your therapy session last week helped that much?"

"Ah… no. I talked to my dad. And Dave. And… everything feels good. I trust him."

"Are you sure? Because he's a lot bigger than Blaine." The unspoken words, that he loved and trusted Blaine are there, hanging in the air, and he feels a little angry at her for even bringing it up. It's not like he hasn't thought about this  _thousands_  of times.

"Mercedes, I  _trust_  him. I'm not going to go over this with you. I've done that enough already okay? Dave isn't the same guy. I wouldn't be with him if he was," he says, repeating what his dad had told him.

"Okay, well, that's good enough for me… You know he'd have to take on the entire glee club if he ever hurts you right?"

He smiles tightly, because while she might say that everyone has forgotten what Blaine did already, but are still questioning Dave. Either way, he wants to look after himself and this week he's starting classes with Terence.

**LSY**

He walks into school and comes face-to-face with a life-size poster of himself. It's a horrible way to start the morning and his first instinct is to just rip it down. Instead he unpins it carefully and rolls it up, knowing the ripping and tearing might make him feel better, but giving in to his anger over something as mundane as a prom king promotional poster is ridiculous on several levels. He sees three more before he gets to his locker and he gives each of them the same treatment.

"Dude, you know they'll just put up two for every one you take down right?"

"Yeah well, they'll run out of room eventually. And money. I've got to hide these. Any ideas?"

Nate takes them with a grin, eyes widening before he turns and takes off down the hall. He turns to see Honey and Kara heading toward him, their eyes narrowed suspiciously and he grins disarmingly. Honey immediately smiles back, giving his arm a quick hug before looking around with a frown on her face.

"I would swear we put up like… five posters in this part of the school. We were starting to run low so had to put them up sparingly."

"You're not imagining it, we definitely put them up. I think we're being sabotaged."

Honey's eyes go wide, and he pretends to be concerned. He can see Kara is taking none of his shit and he hopes she isn't too angry, because they  _are_  putting in a lot of time and energy, despite his repeated protests that they're wasting their time. He hasn't touched the poster of Honey, and she looks good in them. Far better than him anyway.

"I think we're being sabotaged from the inside," Kara says, and he knows he's busted. "I have a good idea of who it is, and unless they want to feel my wrath, they'll  _stop_ ," she states, giving him a glare for good measure and he sighs and then nods slightly. Honey doesn't seem to realize they're having a silent conversation, instead waving at some girl he recognizes from the drama club. He hopes she isn't doing it all for the popularity, although her and Kara seem pretty tight now, and Honey actually seems… happier.

He gets through the day, smiling occasionally at the surreal memory of his kiss with Kurt. He managed to hold off texting him until lunch, and settles for a quick and simple ' _hope you're having a good day'._  He gets one back, ' _you too. Want to come around tonight?'_  He answers with an affirmative, although saying he has practice first and Kurt's ' _look forward to seeing you'_  have him grinning the rest of the day.

**LSY**

"Sorry I'm late – Adam vomited everywhere, and when I say everywhere, I mean mainly on me. And the sofa. And Lily. So I cleaned everyone up. Which involved a second bath. Plus a shower for me… Yeah. Claire's exhausted so her and dad got takeout, so I had to wait for that and… yeah. Sorry I didn't text or anything, I didn't really have time."

He listens to Dave burbling, just smiling and feeling happy to see him and they didn't really set a time, just after dinner. He'd been tempted half-way through Dave's explanation to just lean forward and kiss him, see if that was an effective way of shutting him up, but not only did he feel like he isn't quite there yet, but also hearing Dave babble half-apologetically is adorable.

"It's not a problem. At all. Come in. Come on. Don't worry about your shoes. Seriously, my dad doesn't take his shoes off and yours have to be cleaner than his. Oh. Unless you have baby sick on them?"

"I wasn't wearing shoes when he threw up."

"Oh. Ew. Between your toes?"

"Yeah. Gross. So so gross. Ever stepped in warm custard?"

"Ew!  _No_."

"Yeah well, that's what I imagine it would be like…"

He pulls a face and shakes his head, because he really doesn't want to imagine the sensation of warm squelchyness between his toes.

"Dave, that is so disgusting…"

"What's disgusting?" Finn asks, coming into the hall and he senses Dave tense slightly before relaxing again almost immediately and he shoots him a quick reassuring smile.

"Being vomited on. I can't recommend it."

"Who vomited on you? Kurt?"

"What! No! Why would you even think that?"

"Cause you threw up on Miss Pilsbury that one time."

"Oh my god Finn, that was like two years ago. Dave's  _baby_   _brother_  was the culprit, not me." Finn grins, as if he's baiting him on purpose and he glares, knowing he's right. "We'll be in my room, I suggest you knock before entering."

He's glad that Finn looks a little freaked out, totally fair payback, and he pulls Dave along by the hand, smiling at him over his shoulder. He wants to ask Dave to come to the small singing show that McKinley and Carmel are having this weekend in preparation for Nationals, because apparently a little competition is healthy. He supposes it is, it's definitely made them band together a little more, be a bit more cohesive since their re-joining.

He settles himself on his bed, and Dave isn't as anywhere near as comfortable in his room as he is in Dave's, and he supposes he needs to spend more time here. He has no problem with that. He asks how school was and listens as Dave moans about Prom posters, still adamant that he's not going. He's fine with that, but he's actually started to want to go to his own senior prom, and he wants to go with Dave. But only if Dave wants to. He doesn't want to force him into going.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Of course."

"Now, I don't want you to think you have to, or feel that you have to, because I don't want to make you do anything that you aren't comfortable with, so please keep that in mind -"

"Kurt, just ask already. The worst is I can say no. Right? I can say no?"

"Of course! That's what I was trying to say!"

"And the question is?" Dave prompts, and he's grinning, like Kurt is amusing him and he pulls a face.

"Oh. Right. Well… I was wondering if you would go to prom with me."

He watches him carefully, sees his face shut down and he worries the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth. He can tell Dave's first and immediate response is _hell no_ , but is holding back for simple deference to his feelings, because he's like that. He holds back a sigh, wishing he hadn't asked, hadn't put Dave in this awkward a position. By rights he shouldn't really want to go to prom either, but last year was… well,  _last year_ , and neither of them are in the same place now. Although he's probably pushing it to expect Dave to make such a giant leap like this.

"Wait. McKinley or Carmel?"

"McKinley. I know you don't want to go to the prom at Carmel. Well, I guess you probably don't want to go to either, I just thought… you can't be prom king at McKinley, because you don't go there anymore, and…"  _Do you want a nice prom?_  He keeps that to himself though, because it sounds wrong, manipulative like he can guilt Dave into going. He knows he could, but he doesn't want to make him go for a reason like that. Wants and needs Dave to make these steps of his own free will.

"Let me think about it?"

"Of course!" He agrees instantly, because he'd fully expected an outright  _no_ , so he smiles and leaves the topic, instead bringing up the concert which Dave agrees to attend far more readily.

**LSY**

On Sunday night he finds himself sitting with Burt and Carole, watching a bunch of schools perform, and he recognizes a few people from Carmel, obviously here to support Vocal Adrenaline. He knows his foot is tapping along to the beat and it's nice not to have to force himself to stop, with everyone else doing the same thing, some even on their feet and dancing. He lets himself enjoy it, relaxing and trying to not care about the glances he's getting sent his way from a guy two rows down und ten seats across. He's pretty sure it's Carl, but he isn't going to go and find out.

When it ends he follows Burt and Carole to the large hall where everyone is apparently gathered and waiting for the performers. He sees the McKinley glee club enter, splitting up to go to their separate families and he grins at Kurt as he approaches.

"So, what did you think?"

"I've always thought you had an amazing voice."

Kurt blushes at that and he feels his hand being squeezed. He squeezes back and grins as Finn talks, hyped up on the performance he guesses. He's not expecting the hand on his shoulder and he jumps a little, turning. Yeah. Carl.  _Awesome_.

"Karofsky, thought it was you. You got a brother or sister performing tonight too?"

"Uh –" He wants to say boyfriend. That he's here supporting his  _boyfriend_  but the words stick in his throat.

"He's here seeing his old friends," Kurt supplies, and he  _hates_  that Kurt steps away, wants to pull him back to his side and just hold him there.

"So having weird friends isn't a new thing then. Figures."

He feels Kurt stiffen beside him, but he also senses Finn and Burt's attention shift, their conversation gone quiet, his stomach churns and he can taste acid burning in his mouth. Then suddenly he's surrounded by what feels like the entire McKinley glee club, Santana laughingly places a kiss on his cheek, winking at Kurt and giving Carl a quick up-down before sniffing dismissively. Fuck he loves her. Evans, Chang and Puckerman all slap his shoulder and greet him like he's an old friend, all of them giving Carl a quick look that clearly says he doesn't matter unless Dave says he does.

"These all your friends?"

"Uh –"

"Yeah. And who are you?" Hudson asks, and he feels him standing at his shoulder, an arm slung around Kurt like he just doesn't care what people think.

"This is Carl. We play, uh, football and hockey together." He was  _going_  to say that they play on the same teams, but given the current company that wouldn't have been the wisest choice of words. He's pretty sure they wouldn't all have been able to keep a straight face. Even as it is it looks like Puckerman has put it together and is ready to blurt something out before he shuts his mouth again.

"Huh. We used to play with Dave," Hudson states, arm waving to include everyone. "He's great at defense isn't he?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess. I play defense."

"Then you'd know," Hudson states, and Carl just looks dumbfounded, which isn't unusual, but he wonders if maybe his arrival at Carmel jostled Carl's position. Not that he's been directly hostile, but until he and Terence had become firm friends things had definitely been frosty.

"So uh, what are you doing here?"

"My sister is in VA, was forced to come. I'll uh, see you in school tomorrow."

He murmurs his agreement, and wonders if he'll get shit tomorrow for being at a glee-club inter-school concert. Probably not, given Vocal Adrenaline's reputation at Carmel, and he can probably rest easy with Kurt and Finn's quick thinking. The other's have surrounded them, all talking excitedly about Nationals and it feels  _weird_ , though it's hard not to get caught up in their excitement and enthusiasm. He catches Kurt's eye though and pulls a face, moving closer.

"I'm sorry I-"

"Shh. Dave. Shh. It's fine. Really. I don't care, I thought I did, but… I  _don't_. You do what you need to. Just… stay safe okay?"

"The safest."

Kurt looks really worried and he shakes his head, reaching for his hand again, squeezing it reassuringly and refusing to let go.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Homophobic language and bullying. And a bit more angsty than normal.
> 
> Author's note: Sorry! Been a long time coming. My other twin has now had his operation on his ears, I am sick with something the doctors are trying to figure out (which involves a lot of blood tests), but I am alive.

 

 

 

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

He's been going for a few weeks now, he can't make every session because of glee club, but he enjoys the change of pace, the fact that Terence, and the instructor herself, have made him feel welcome. That and the fact that he has started feeling actively in control, that he's  _doing something_  to stop it happening again. It feels good. He stretches his shoulders once more before starting to pack his bag, smiling at Terence when he comes over to sit beside him so he can pull on his street shoes.

"See you next time T-Bear."

"T-Bear?" Kurt asks, holding back a little laugh and Terence rolls his eyes.

"It's a nickname from when I was a kid. Chantelle has known me a long time. It's really not that funny man."

"Oh… it's not… just, Dave is apparently called a bear cub at Scandals. And just… it made me smile."

"Fuck, my parents would kill me if they found out I had gone to Scandals."

He bites his lip, and hopes his face conveys some sort of sympathetic look. His dad would have words with him about underage drinking, not the fact that he's gay, but he knows from the small comments like this Terence makes that while  _kill_  might be an exaggeration it wouldn't be a happy home life.

"You know you can always come round to my place right? If you need to?"

Terence looks surprised at the offer, and he guesses they don't know each other that well really.

"Thanks man, but Dave's already offered. It won't come to that."

He doesn't know if he hears a quiet ' _I hope'_  or if he's imagining it.

 

**LSY**

His feet skitter across the floor and he hits the lockers with a bang. It  _hurts_  and he briefly cringes at the thought of how often he used to dole out the same treatment to people smaller than him. Except there aren't that many people smaller than him, and he turns to find Carl looking at him with narrowed eyes, arms crossed before leaning in.

" _Fag_."

The word is spat in his face, and he can actually feel little spittles of actual spit on his face and he wipes them away with the back of his hand. His heart is beating over-fast in his chest, but he forces himself to stay calm, rolling his eyes and pushing past Carl to get to his locker. A hand grabs his arm, pulling him back and he shrugs him off. He's actually surprised Carl has the balls to do this alone, without the backup of several of his friends.

"You're not going to deny it?"

"What's the point? You're going to believe whatever you want anyway. And there are worse things in the world to be."

He didn't used to believe that, but he does now. That realization makes him smile, huff a little in amusement as he twists the combination lock on his locker. His response seems to confuse Carl though, and he knows a confused Carl generally becomes aggressive. Or more aggressive as the case may be, as he gets shoulder checked into the lockers again, Carl leaving but mumbling about how this isn't over. He hates how his stomach turns into a twisted heavy ball of anxiety.

 

**LSY**

"Hey Hummel! Wait up!"

He turns in the hallway to see Azimio jogging towards him, and he has to smile at the fact that even a few months ago the sight would have made him a little fearful. Now he just feels warm regard for his boyfriend's best friend.

"Azimio…"

"You seen Dave?"

"Well, not since Sunday night, but we spoke last night, and exchanged a few texts this morning. Why?"

"I went around last night and something's eating him up. Just wondered if you knew what it was."

"Did you  _ask him?_ " Kurt asks and Azimio sneers at him.

"Of  _course_  I asked him, I'm not an idiot. He just said it was nothing, but I know him man, he's pretty easy to read most of the time. Just thought he might have said something to you because of… you know."

Kurt snorts at the little hand wave Azimio does which is clearly meant to encompass  _'you know'_  and he rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything.

"I'll ask him tonight, but you do know him better than I do, and unless it's about  _you know_ ," he mimics the little hand wave, "then I can't imagine him not talking to you about it…" He pauses then, recalling Sunday night and maybe there is something going on. "Would Dave tell you if he was getting bullied?"

Azimio's face goes hard and he swallows, reminded strongly of the days when he was  _not_  friends with him.

"You think… he's being bullied at Carmel? They have an anti-bullying policy."

"Yes well, they have one of those  _here_  and it didn't exactly help me much did it?"

Azimio rolls his eyes but looks worried, and his concern is starting to make him feel nervous.

"Has he said anything?"

He shakes his head, wondering if he should mention Sunday night, or whether he's blowing things completely out of proportion. He's not going to jump to conclusions.

"Look, we can't do much right now. I'll talk to him tonight. It might be nothing. Don't go storming over there to stage an intervention or anything."

Azimio gives him a look, one that clearly states such a dramatic action is  _not_  something he would do, but something he'd clearly expect Kurt to partake in and he pulls a face at him. It makes Azimio laugh, breaks the building tension and he gets a light shoulder punch before a head jerk as Azimio walks away, telling him he'll catch him later.

 

**LSY**

Carl doesn't let up, but neither does he do or say anything as blatant as Monday. Instead Dave finds notes in his locker and bag, nothing threatening, just name calling, and he just throws them into the trash each time. He's pretty sure Carl is waiting to see whether he'll react, rise to the bait. He refuses to let it bother him. Well, he  _tries_ to not let it bother him. He's mostly successful.

When he gets home from school on Wednesday he finds Claire close to tears, Adam and Lily both screaming and he can smell something burnt. He stands paralyzed in the door for a few seconds, wondering if he can just leave again. He doesn't of course, instead drops his bag to the ground and immediately goes and settles himself on the floor beside Adam and Lily. They stop crying pretty much immediately, although Adam is hitting his thigh with a block. He looks up at Claire and offers a smile, trying to be reassuring. When she bursts into tears he's pretty sure he was the opposite of reassuring. He has no idea what to say, feels pretty helpless all round as he watches uncomfortably as Claire just  _cries_.

Fortunately Lily and Adam don't seem bothered, apart from glancing at her occasionally as if to check she's still there, both of them now hitting his denim clad thigh with blocks like it's a competition and giggling. Ignoring her, and the fact that she's crying seems to be working, and the crying settles down to little hiccoughs and then loud sniffles.

"Of course they stop screaming when you walk in. I think they're a bit over my face."

He doubts that but he just shrugs, wondering if he can do or say anything.

"Uh, you want to have a break? I mean, I'm not as fast as you, but I'm sure I can feed them dinner and bath them by myself if you just need to… uh… rest?" He doesn't want to say anything, but she looks  _terrible_. As if she hasn't slept in days, and he knows she's getting wiped out by the constant nausea.

"I wouldn't normally, but I think I really need to go and lie down. Just for a little bit. I… burnt the pasta. So just feed them a couple of jars. Thanks. You're a good man Dave."

The compliment embarrasses him, but as Claire forces herself to standing the embarrassment is quickly replaced by worry as he watches her stagger toward the stairs. He goes back to playing with the kids, driving the blocks around and pretending they're cars while wondering if it's too early to give them dinner. He'll be slower feeding them, and messier. He can do it though, he's done it before.

When he hears the door open he starts to frown but then swears quietly under his breath, realizing it must be Kurt. He's torn between wanting to grab him and never letting him go, or giving him an out, because Kurt doesn't need to help him with the twins just because it's a Wednesday night and it's their standing date night. Fuck. He has a standing  _date night_. He grins and looks to the doorway, waiting for Kurt to make an appearance, because if _anyone_  had told him a year ago he'd have a standing date night with Kurt Hummel he'd never have believed them.

"Hi."

"Hi," Kurt replies, and he loves the way Kurt's nose scrunches up when he's really happy, and how he's starting to know all these different levels of expression.

"Uh, not that I want you to leave or anything, but it might be utter chaos tonight. I mean, it looks good now, but Claire kind of needs a break, and I offered to look after everything. You don't need to stay."

"You're planning on doing it all on your own?"

"I… yeah. Claire really needs a rest. I've done it before."

"Not anymore."

"What?"

"You're not doing it on your own. I'll help. I know enough to help bath them and make bottles. Even if I can help out with little things it has to make it easier right? And they know me…"

He watches as Kurt sits on the ground, and Adam and Lily immediately abandon him to go and climb on Kurt. He likes seeing Kurt like this, not caring about his clothes, although he has noticed Kurt has started wearing less elaborate clothes when he comes to visit, like he's comfortable. Reaching out he runs his hand over the back of Kurt's, squeezing gently.

"I'm just going to check on Claire. I'll be right back."

Kurt just nods and tickles Lily's stomach, making her shriek happily and he feels all kinds of a sap for liking the sight. He takes the stairs two at a time, really just wanting to see if Claire needs anything, and to tell her Kurt is here, because that might offer her some reassurance that she hasn't left him alone to deal with everything. He pushes the bedroom door open and peers inside and huffs quietly. She must have been exhausted, because she's already fast asleep.

In the past he's always been a little anxious about looking after the twins, even when they're asleep, but he knows that with Kurt here it will be fine. And his dad should be coming home soon as well so it's not even the longest he's looked after them. He's pretty sure it's just the unexpectedness of it, because all the other times he's had time to psyche himself up and prepare himself for it, while this is completely out of the blue. He goes into the kitchen and gets a couple of jars, moving the highchairs to the table and laying out two bibs, his mind going over what else he might need to do.

He walks back to the living room and tells them it's dinner time, which gets an excited squeal and arm wave from Adam. He picks him up and Kurt follows with Lily. They work together seamlessly, and he guesses they actually do this almost every week, so it's not like it's new to Kurt. Plus Kurt is humming quietly under his breath, something which seems to keep the kids calm. Calmer anyway.

His dad arrives home just as he's taking them out of the bath and passing them to Kurt to dry. Of course he's absolutely drenched, being caught in the middle of Lily and Adam's splash attack, but at least he can easily change, and having Kurt laugh at him is worth a little water. His dad makes the bottles, insisting on taking over and putting them to bed, telling him to order whatever take out they feel like. Kurt surprises him with an ' _oh god, can we get pizza?'_  which he agrees to immediately.

 

**LSY**

He flops onto Dave's bed and stifles back a groan.

"I think I am going to burst…"

He's eaten more pizza than he should have, and even though he's wearing his loose jeans he feels like he needs to pop a button. He opens his eyes and looks for Dave, and of course he looks uncomfortable in his own bedroom, as if he's unsure whether he can sit on his bed when Kurt has laid claim to it in such an obvious manner. He shifts to his side and moves so he's at the edge of the bed and pats the now empty space beside him. It's not the first time they've been on Dave's bed together, but he just smiles encouragingly as Dave settles himself beside him, stretching out. He's changed of course, which is a bit of a shame, because Dave definitely suits the clinging wet fabric he was sporting earlier.

"You okay? You're pretty quiet tonight."

"Yeah, I'm good. Everything is good. Just tired I guess."

He lets out a little hum, hoping that's all it is, but wondering if Dave would tell him.

"If there was something to worry about you would tell me right? Or tell someone? Right? David?"

"Az talked to you didn't he?"

He blinks and sits up a bit, looking down at Dave and frowning before settling back down to lie beside him, snuggling into Dave's side and using his shoulder as a pillow.

"He did, and is it that obvious that he talked to me?"

"We haven't had a chance to exchange two words to each other that wasn't baby related since you walked in the door. Look, I'm fine okay? Nothing for you to worry about. I can take care of myself."

_That_  makes the tiny hairs all over his body prickle and he frowns, shaking his head, although it's really just a shuffle against Dave's chest.

"You shouldn't have to take care of yourself Dave. Just… promise me you'll say something if it gets really bad okay?"

"What, like you did?" He pulls away and sits up. "Shit. I didn't mean it like that.  _Fuck_." He bites his lip, wondering what Dave meant exactly, keeping quiet because he wants to give him a chance to explain. "It's just Carl being a jerk and leaving notes in my locker and stuff okay. It's… nothing I can't handle. Plus I only have four weeks left of school."

"If that was meant to be reassuring I need to tell you that you failed.  _Badly_."

Dave groans and he holds back the temptation to poke him in the side, because his gut is churning with worry, at Dave's comments and complete avoidance of saying he'll say something,  _anything_ , if he needs help.

"Fine, if it gets bad I'll say something, but seriously, it's like he's just trying to piss me off, and because I'm not rising to the bait it's just pissing him off more. Don't worry, Terence and Nate are around, and if he does anything else Carmel actually enforces their anti-bullying policy."

He nods and lets himself settle back down on the bed, still not completely happy with what Dave is saying, but he also knows there isn't much he can say or do that will change that, having lived through it himself.

"You know I did say something when it got really bad, you know I did, because that's why I transferred. I want you to know that… I'm here for you. And Terence and Azimio and Nathan and everyone else. You're not alone."

He feels Dave's arm circle him, tightening slightly and giving him a gentle hug.

"I know. Which is why I can handle little scraps of paper with juvenile taunts on them. Anyway, I wanted to talk about something more pleasant, like prom…"

He knows Dave is bringing up prom to distract him, but this time he lets him.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I don't know how college/university in the US work. I work in a university, and worked in the admission office for 2.5years so am basing some of this on that. Feel free to enlighten me.
> 
> Warning: This ends on 'sort-of' cliff hanger. Don't say I didn't warn you.

He hasn't said anything to Kurt, not because he's keeping it from him, but they haven't brought college up since they talked about it before Christmas. It's different now. He's kind of worried that maybe he should have discussed it more with him, but it's too late now. He's accepted a place at OSU, but has also written a polite letter to MIT asking if it is possible to defer for a year, explaining his reasons for deciding on OSU being that he wants to stay close to his family with the imminent arrival of a new baby and moving house.

There's also the fact that he doesn't really know what he wants to do with the rest of his life, and having another year before he finally has to make a decision sounds kind of good. He hadn't put that in the letter though. MIT have accepted his deferral request on the provision that he pass all papers he takes at any other college in the interim year which is fine with him, if he ends up going to MIT then he really needs to slide into a good studying technique from the word go.

While he hasn't talked to Kurt directly, he does know Kurt nailed the NYADA audition he's expressed the opinion that he might not go even if he is accepted. He understands, but he's also kind of gutted that Kurt might give up on the place of his dreams because of what happened. Or because he wants to stay close to Lima. He knows he's pretty much doing the same thing, however his dad and Claire are moving to Columbus, and he's moving with them. There's a house waiting a building report and everything, he's seen pictures, and the fact that Claire and his dad made sure the place had a room for him just makes him feel like he's made the right decision. Now he just needs to share it with Kurt, and he has no idea how to start  _that_  conversation.

While he's been stressing about that, he's somehow agreed to go to prom with Kurt. There was a healthy does of manipulation from Claire in there which helped. He's fully aware it's his senior prom, but she'd been sympathetic about what had happened last year.  _Fuck_. With that at McKinley, and Honey and Kara teaming up at Carmel he feels like he wants to find a mountain and study how to become a hermit. He won't though, despite the temptation, and instead has his suit hanging in his closet, freshly pressed and cleaned at Claire's insistence. He's not sure why she insisted on getting him a new suit, but he'd gone a long with it, letting Kurt and her pick ones out for him to try on. It had been worth it for Kurt's excitement alone.

**LSY**

He's prepared his friends at McKinley, and when Rachel and Mercedes had pulled faces at the fact that he was seriously bringing Dave, and how could he forgive him after everything he'd done he'd snapped, pulled them into the soundproof recording room and railed at them. Had they forgotten what Blaine had done to him? Did that stop them talking to him? Socializing and laughing with him? They'd both looked saddened and taken it in good grace, which had surprised him a little, because he fully expected Rachel to at least whine, but instead he'd ended up with them hugging him and telling him they were happy he was happy.

He hadn't been particularly happy though, not with them, but Blaine had shaken his head, and the fact that he'd felt a moments solidarity with  _Blaine_  of all people really should have made the others realize how shitty they were when it came to being friends. Just because they didn't see Dave to realize how much he had changed didn't mean he  _hadn't_ , and why couldn't they just trust his judgment anyway? Or accept the fact that Dave made him happy. He goes through the rest of the afternoon at school in a bit of a foul mood, shooting dark glances at Rachel and Mercedes, and while they look duly chastened he's not convinced they're actually sorry about their comments regarding Dave.

He knows part of the reason he's so upset is because of the amount of time it took him to even convince Dave to  _consider_  coming to prom at McKinley. And he knows part of the reason Dave finally gave in is because he wants to make Kurt happy. He didn't even try to convince Dave to go to his own school prom, but he's okay with that, is actually glad because he worries about the fact that Dave isn't really out at school. He forgets that fact, especially as there are only weeks to go, so it won't matter this time next month, but Dave is out to his family, to the majority of his friends, to  _all_  of Kurt's friends and so he forgets. And it's that which worries him, because what if one of Dave's friends at Carmel forgets?

**LSY**

"I need to talk to you."

"Okay. Wow Dave, relax, it's not… It's not bad is it?"

"No! Shit. Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you, just been thinking about a lot of stuff and have wanted to talk to you about it for a while and I think I've been overthinking it because now I'm really worried about your reaction and…  _fuck_."

"Uh, well… just tell me. You said it wasn't bad."

"Okay. I accepted a place at OSU."

"That's great! Why are you so nervous about telling me that?"

"Just… uh. I'm not sure what… we're going to be in a couple of months' time, and I've been wanting to tell you for ages, but I didn't know how to broach it."

"Well, you kind of freaked me out a little, but to be honest? I haven't given us, our relationship, a thought, past graduation. I mean I got accepted into NYADA, but you know how I feel about moving so far away right now. I just… I got into OSU, and Pittsburgh, but…"

"Have you sent out your acceptance letter?"

"No. Not yet. I've just –"

He watches Kurt chew his lip and he wonders what it tastes like. He has thoughts of course, not that he would ever voice them or act on them, because he doesn't ever want Kurt to feel uncomfortable around him, but it doesn't stop his traitorous mind providing the thoughts.

"I still don't know if I want to go. At all."

"Okay."

"I – really? My dad is really pushing me to accept a place and… I don't feel ready."

"Well… have you thought about deferral? Like asking for your acceptance to be deferred for a year? I mean, I'm sure if you wrote a letter explaining they'd at least consider it. That's what I did for MIT."

"You got into MIT?"

"Ah. Yeah," he says shyly, because he hadn't meant to tell Kurt that. That he got acceptance letters from  _all_  the places he applied to. He knows it's harder for Kurt, because there are auditions and a lot more competition, although the fact that Kurt has also gotten in to everywhere he applied means he doesn't feel as bad.

"Oh my god Dave! Congratulations!"

The energy and exuberance in the hug that Kurt gives him makes him feel warm all over and he grins, hugging him back.

"Yeah, I'll hopefully credit the papers I do at OSU over if I can, but yeah… OSU for a year. I still don't really know what I want to do, so I'm going to take the time to figure it out, plus I can still live at home and save for when,  _if_ , I decide to go to MIT."

"You'll go to MIT."

He blushes that Kurt has so much belief in him, especially when he has no real idea himself about what he wants to do and Kurt  _knows_  that. At least Kurt's dreams have always been constant, and even he knows what Kurt wants. Or  _wanted_. He pauses and wonders if Kurt even wants that anymore.

"Do you still want to be on Broadway?"

"I… I don't know. I don't think so. But I might change my mind again. Is that a bad thing?"

"Kurt, I don't think anyone really knows what they want to do for the rest of their lives."

"Rachel does."

"Yeah well, Berry is a weirdo."

For some reason Kurt cracks up laughing, leaning into him and he realizes that they're still standing there in his kitchen, arms wrapped around each other and it feels so fucking comfortable. He's not going to draw attention to it, but he really likes the feeling that Kurt feels this relaxed around him. He knows Kurt's been going to classes with Terence, and Dave figures those are helping in a way that talking about it just haven't been able to.

"Yeah, she kind of is."

He grins and relaxes a little more, feels Kurt stay relaxed against him and he wants to do it, press a tiny kiss to Kurt's forehead, but he doesn't want to make him feel pressured.

"You're thinking too much."

"Am I?"

"Yeah, I can hear you," Kurt says, and he can feel Kurt's body shaking with silent laughter against his chest.

"I was just thinking about doing something…"

"What?"

"Uh nothing. It's stupid." Especially now that he's thinking about it even more.

"Come on, do it."

"Nah. It's alright."

"Dave, please?"

He scrunches his face up, lets out a resigned sigh and then quickly presses a kiss to Kurt's forehead. He would go for the hair but he's worried he might ruin the styling that Kurt has probably spent ages on.

"Oh," Kurt says, and he's not sure if he sounds surprised or pleased. "Oh… do that again."

He does, swallowing against the nerves and tries to ignore the way Kurt's eyes have fluttered shut.

"Um. A little lower?"

Kurt's voice is quiet and his own breath is shallow and fast and he kisses the tip of Kurt's nose as fast as he can.

"Uh, a little lower?"

He knows what Kurt wants, feels a little relieved at the almost playful  _thing_  they have and wants to keep it going. He kisses Kurt's chin and pulls back, head bent to hide his grin, knowing without even looking that Kurt's eyes are now open and glaring at him.

"Not quite that low huh?"

" _No_."

He's not prepared for Kurt to suddenly be kissing him; it's not soft and slow  _at all_  and his entire body is being pressed against the kitchen bench and he's glad for that at least, that it's not him pressing Kurt up against something. He likes that Kurt is taking the lead and he just grips the edge of the bench and kisses back. There's no tongue, but  _fuck_  there doesn't need to be because Kurt's lips are switching between little light kisses at the edge of his mouth and then harder  _hotter_  and he can't even believe this is happening right now. It stops as quickly as it starts though, with Kurt taking a sudden step back, eyes blown wide and lips dark-pink and shiny with spit. The sight makes him lick his own lips and he sucks in a deep breath.

" _Wow_." It feels like the understatement of the year, but he  _hadn't_  been expecting that at all. From the look on Kurt's face he hadn't been expecting it either. It can't have lasted longer than thirty seconds, probably not even that.

"I… yeah. Sorry. I…"

"You don't need to apologize."

"No.  _Yes_. Yes I do… because. Because I don't want you to…"

"Kurt.  _Kurt_." He waits until Kurt is looking at him. "I don't expect  _anything_  from you.  _Ever_. I mean, not that I uh… making out with you is awesome, but… If you just want to sit on the sofa and watch movies then that's completely cool with me as well. I meant what I said before okay?"

A part of him relaxes as Kurt nods and then he's being kissed again, slower, gentler although when he reaches out to put a hand on Kurt's hip he feels Kurt twist away. He doesn't take it personally, the fact that Kurt has just been kissing him tells him that Kurt wants to be here, is comfortable enough with him to initiate this and that fact makes him unbelievably happy, like he's finally doing something right.

"A movie sounds good."

"Okay. That we can do."

**LSY**

He looks at himself in the mirror and he knows he looks good. He's just wearing a plain tuxedo this time, although without a bowtie, instead just a skinny tie in midnight blue. Nothing too extravagant at all because he knows Dave is going to feel uncomfortable enough as it is, and he doesn't need to bring extra attention to them. He's certain they're going to be a talking point tonight anyway.

He's talked with Azimio, he'd known Dave was coming because Dave had told him however Kurt hadn't known how much Dave was freaking out until Azimio had told him. That had hurt a little but he'd quickly realized that Dave didn't want to disappoint him, or make him worried, but he still wishes he'd shared his fears with him, because he's scared as well. Blaine won't be at the prom. It's senior prom and he's never been so glad that Blaine isn't in the same year as him. He wants to enjoy the night and he's pretty sure that Blaine is glad to not be going anyway because of Brittany's weird ban on hair gel.

Dave is picking him up in his dad's car, and despite the amount they've hung out they've actually never been on a date. In public. And he knows this isn't just the two of them alone going to dinner, but going  _to prom_  is a massive statement and while he's amazingly proud of how far Dave has come in the last year he's also mindful of just how much of a big deal this is.

**LSY**

His palms are sweating, and he knows if he wipes them on his pants again Kurt is going to give him a disappointed look, and he doesn't want that. He wants the eyes-shining-with-happiness-and-excitement look which he'd gotten earlier in the evening when he'd knocked on Kurt's door to pick him up. Things are going well though, far better than he ever anticipated. A few of his old teammates have come over and said hi, most of them not surprised he's here with Kurt and he guesses he has Az to thank for forewarning them. There are a few others which keep shooting glances his way, frowns on their faces and it's those which are making him feel nervous.

His nerves must show because Puckerman has offered him,  _repeatedly_ , a swig from a hip flask and he's refused multiple times. He doesn't want to drink, knows how Kurt feels about drinking and losing control and he doesn't want to put him through that. The glee club have been really good for the most part, particularly the guys that he used to play football with. He's pretty sure Mercedes and Rachel still don't trust him but they haven't said anything, and Mercedes had even smiled at him, although she'd looked like it had been painful. He doesn't care. He feels an arm wrap around his arm and Kurt's leaning against him, smiling up at him and he grins.

"Hi."

"Hi. So… we finally get our dance…"

He swallows the tightness in his throat and nods dumbly, unable to say anything as Kurt leads him to the dance floor. He wishes he could have had this last year, that things could be different, but he's actually pretty happy right now with how things are turning out. He links his fingers around Kurt's middle, keeping them only loosely joined and he can't help but smile when Kurt rests his head on his shoulder. They're pretty much the same height, so he just leans his head against his and enjoys the smell and feel.

There are eyes on them and he does his best to ignore them, or imagine that the eyes are at least attached to smiling faces, even though he knows they can't all be. He feels like walking out when they come to announce Prom King and Queen, but Kurt is holding his hand with a death grip and he strokes his thumb over his hand, trying to relax him even through his own nerves.

Berry's name is called out and he can't actually believe that she's won. Sure the glee club aren't quite the social pariahs they were last year, but he's pretty sure they haven't jumped to the top of the food chain in his absence. Unless it's like last year when it was just a massive joke; he's still a little annoyed about the fact that Figgins decided to read it out despite it obviously being a cruel joke. He knows now that Kurt was hurt by it, just that he hides it far better than anyone would ever guess.

**LSY**

"The punch is spiked," Mercedes says in a stage whisper and he sighs.  _Of course it is_. "I think Dave might have had some."

He freezes for a second before forcing himself to relax. He can deal with this. Dave hasn't suddenly started swinging from the light fittings, seems a little more relaxed than when they first arrived but that could be for many reasons. Except Dave is meant to be driving, and he's pretty sure that Dave wouldn't be drinking it if he thought it was spiked. He sidles up beside him and takes his cup, taking a tiny sip and all he can taste is the sickly sweet cordial flavor.

"How much of the punch have you had to drink?"

"Oh. Three glasses maybe? Why? Crap. It's spiked isn't it…"

"Yep." Dave sniffs his cup with a frown before putting it down on a side table. "You don't seem… overly affected by it though."

"I'm a big guy," Dave says, shrugging and looking a little self-conscious. He can't tell if he's blushing in the lighting but he wraps his arms around him, hoping Dave can read how sincere he is as he hugs him.

"Yeah, I like it."

Dave's face definitely feels warm as he presses a kiss to his cheek and he smiles, realizing just how comfortable he feels, how far he's come in the last six months. When he pulls away and looks around he realizes that there are several members of the glee club who are drunk and he sighs.

"I think the glee club members are closet alcoholics…"

"Uh, that implies they try to keep it a secret. I'm pretty sure they aren't keeping this a secret."

"Oh god you're right. We should totally have compulsory AA meetings for them."

Dave shrugs and he looks pretty tired and he takes his hand, tugging him toward the door, waving at Mercedes so she knows he's leaving.

"Come on, let's get you home." Dave hums in agreement, linking their fingers and it's nice.

"You mind if I walk you guys to your car?" Azimio asks and instantly Kurt is wide awake. It could be an innocent request, but also he knows Azimio would probably just leave them to it if he thought they would be completely safe.

"I… yes. Thank you." He catches Azimio's eyes and tries to convey his gratitude, because while Dave might be new to being out in a small time he isn't. While he feels more confident now that he could ward off an attacker he still won't put himself in dangerous situations if he can help it.

Of course it's completely anticlimactic, and he much prefers it that way as he starts the unfamiliar car and watches Azimio get smaller in the rearview mirror as he drives away. He has to focus on driving, so he's not surprised that Dave has fallen asleep in the twenty minutes it's taken him to get him home. He pokes at Dave's rib with a finger until he grumbles awake and bites his lip when he mumbles about it being too early, instead informing him that he's home.

As he walks to the front door, guiding a sleepy Dave he's not quite sure how he's going to get home, although he knows his dad will be up waiting for him so he wouldn't feel bad asking him for a lift. He still has forty minutes until curfew though. Claire opens the door, which saves him from figuring out which key is for the house and she looks tired as well, and he's pretty sure she isn't staying up for their sake. She closes the door behind them, eyes on Dave as she frowns.

"Is he drunk?"

"No. I don't think so. Really tired maybe? He drank some of the punch, which was spiked, but he didn't seem affected, but I drove us back just in case. He fell asleep on the way home."

"Yeah, we've been having some rough nights this week. None of us are well rested."

Dave is squinting at them in the light coming from the hallway.

"Can I go to bed please?"

Kurt bites his lip in amusement, finding it adorable just how young Dave sounds and Claire is obviously the same, reaching out to ruffle Dave's hair.

"Sure, go right on up."

"Mmm…"

Dave starts staggering toward the stairs and he wonders whether he should go and make sure Dave gets his suit off…

"If you were planning on putting him to bed you might want to get to him before he falls on the bed. Once he's down he's down."

"Oh. Okay then. Right."

He catches up to Dave easily, and getting him to shrug the jacket off is straightforward enough. He's barely breathing when Dave pushes his bedroom door open, but fortunately Dave seems to be working on autopilot, fingers working at buttons and belt clasps. He turns his back, reaching for a coat hanger to put the jacket on, taking his time to smooth it out and hang it in the closet. He can hear Dave stumbling around and he's pretty sure he's trying to take his pants off while still wearing his shoes. He chances a quick look and  _yeah_ , he'd guessed correctly. Dave is wearing black boxer briefs, his pants around his ankles, shirt and tie crumpled in a pile on the floor and he looks confused.

"Sit down, I'll undo your laces."

"Hmm?"

"Just sit down Dave."

He does, sitting on the edge of the bed and he kneels, quickly undoing the laces and tugging his shoes off before removing the pants as well, trying not to think about how close he is to having his boyfriend naked in front of him. As soon as he stands Dave is shuffling his body up the bed, reaching under his pillow for a t-shirt and pulling it over his head. He's pretty sure it's back-to-front and inside-out but he's certain Dave doesn't care right now. He folds away the pants and shirt, puts the shoes in the closet and hangs the tie with Dave's other two ties before turning back to the bed to find Dave has pulled the blankets over him and snuggled down into the pillows. He leans down and places a light kiss on his forehead, brushing his hair back.

"Good night. Sleep well."

"Mmm, love you Kurt…"

He stares down in shock, wondering if Dave is even partially awake because he can't believe that Dave just said that, and he has no idea what to say in response. Fortunately Dave doesn't seem to be waiting for a response, because he's making snuffling sounds that make him sure that Dave's fallen asleep. He runs his fingers over his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, smiling as Dave's face twitches and he snuffles. He swallows.

"Love you too," he whispers.

He backs out of the room, turning off the light and feeling quietly glad that the words they've just exchanged have been said while Dave is barely conscious. Not fair to Dave perhaps but he needs time to process it all, consider what it might mean, although he's starting to think Dave has felt this way about him since the beginning.

"Do you want me to give you a ride home? Or you can stay in the guest room?"

He hesitates, and then accepts the offer of the ride home, because while a part of him would really like to stay he's pretty sure Dave will feel embarrassed enough tomorrow as it is without him being in the house.

**LSY**

He wakes the next morning and he feels  _fantastic_. He looks at the clock and realizes he's been allowed to sleep in until twelve, which is unusual and then he  _remembers_ ; that he fell asleep in the car on the way home and probably completely ruined Kurt's prom night. His fantastic feeling immediately dissipates and he wonders how Kurt even got home last night. Fuck. He's a shitty boyfriend.

Sitting up he looks around his room and notes his suit pants carefully draped over the back of his chair along with the shirt he was wearing. His shoes and jacket are nowhere to be seen and then he remembers the rest of the night and he flushes, his face instantly warm at the idea of Kurt undressing him. Or helping him undress. God he'd made an idiot of himself last night and Kurt had just gone a long with it. It makes him feel less shitty though and he gets out of his bed and pulls on his dressing gown before heading downstairs. On the dining table alongside a note from his dad detailing where they are he finds his phone and there's a single text from Kurt.

_Hope you slept well. You definitely needed it. Talk to you later. xxx_

The little kisses are new and feels all warm inside seeing them, even though going to the prom hadn't been his first choice he definitely feels like it was the right one. No more running scared. He makes himself breakfast and sends Kurt back a quick text, apologizing for falling asleep on him, but also saying that over ten hours of interrupted sleep has left him feeling like a new man. Kurt responds and he spends the next hour texting back and forth. He could invite Kurt around, or even ring him, but he leaves it as it is.

School on Monday is frenetic, everyone brimming with excitement and plans. Carmel's prom is finally happening this week, and he knows the schools stagger them so that students don't have a clash of proms if they are going to more than one. He's glad he went to McKinley's, but he's even gladder that everyone has seemingly given up on making him go to the one at Carmel. Not that he wouldn't put it past Honey to buy a ticket and trick him into going, but she's been too busy sorting out the perfect dress and shoes.

He heads for his locker, wondering if he's imagining the excited babbling falling away to silence but knows he's not when people refuse to meet his eye. Painted on his locker, in bright yellow, for the entire school to see, is the word  _fag_. Blood roars in his ears, stomach tightens into knots and he has no idea what to do.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: My apologies for the time it has taken to get this updated. I have moved house, had tonsillitis, had a child hospitalized etc etc. I.e. RL got to the point where everything else went on the back burner.
> 
> (A complete aside to the story, but in the first year of my relationship with my now husband I was hospitalized during the night and he woke up to a post-it on his door with the message “J’s in hospital”. Not being from my city he had no idea where the hospital even was and mobile phones weren’t common 13 years ago. He went straight to the university and demanded to know where the hospital was and when my friends found out *why* he needed to know I ended up with two car loads of rowdy 20-somethings causing a lot of problems on the ward. They got kicked out.)
> 
> Warning: Homophobic language and actions. There is no direct written violence.

 

**CHAPTER TWENTYTWO**

 

            His heart is racing and he’s scrabbling as to what to do. He can feel more than a dozen pairs of eyes on him, watching and waiting to see how he’s going to react. He wishes he fucking well knew himself.He wH

 

            “Fuck, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

            “Nate…”

            “Just breathe okay?” Nathan says, voice barely a whisper and his lips don’t even move.

            “Oh, look, it’s his little fairy friend.”

            Nathan just rolls his eyes and gives whoever said that the middle finger. He’s not sure that’s very wise.

            “Brush it off. Terence is walking down the hall now. Just pull out the books you need and… just breathe okay?”

            He huffs a soft laugh at that, nervous, but also the over protectiveness of his friend making him feel more than a little pathetic. He does as Nathan suggests, noting that the paint is still wet and he can’t help but get some on his fingers and he stares at the yellow smears until his shoulder is bumped and he looks up to Terence watching him.

            “Dude, come on. We’re going to the office to report this. Whoever’s done this,” Terence looks pointedly at Carl, “probably didn’t even remember that there’s like security cameras covering every inch of this school.”

            Carl’s eyes narrow at that, and even though he knew it was him it confirms it in even more so in his mind. _Fuck_. Seeing there’s going to be nothing interesting happening most people have walked off, or at least stopped watching. There’s still a few shooting him covert looks and he really wishes they would stop. He doesn’t like being so exposed like this. He lets Nathan and Terence walk him toward the main office, flanking him on either side. He finds he really appreciates it, although has no idea how to voice it. The first bell hasn’t even rung, so the halls are still crowded and the way new sets of eyes look at them he knows they all know.

            It’s not as bad as he feared, and he only has two weeks left of school. Ten days. He can do this. He listens as Terence informs the school administrator about the _vandalism_ , tells her they need to speak to the principal and the serious look on his face gets an immediate response. They’re told to take a seat and wait and he doesn’t want to be here, but the heavy hand on his shoulder keeps him in his seat and he exchanges a quick look with Terence.

            Nathan is bouncing one of his legs nervously, which instead of being annoying is actually soothing in a weird way. The first bell rings and the crowd evens out a little, although people are still staring. A part of him inside is laughing hysterically, wondering if he should do something for them to actually stare at, like starting dancing the tango with Nate. Except he doesn’t know how to tango. Nate probably knows how though, talented fucker. He needs to do something, _anything_ , nerves finally getting to him and he pulls out his phone, wondering if he should text Kurt.

            **Just got outed at school.**

            It looks so bare, pure, simple fact and it’s the fucking truth and his stomach starts churning. Violently.

            “Oh fuck, I’m going to be –”

            A small trash can is whipped in front of him and his breakfast joins the pieces of trash and his phone is now ringing and he hates that he has to ignore the call, but he really can’t talk to Kurt right now. Nate is passing him his water bottle and removing the trash can and he forces himself to rinse his mouth and swallow, trying not to think about it too much. He goes to give it back and Nate just mumble ‘ _keep it man_ ’ which makes him laugh quietly. He sucks in deep cleansing breaths and ignores the fact that his hands are trembling as he sends another text back to Kurt.

**Can’t talk right now. Waiting to talk to principal.**

            _What? Why?_

**My locker was vandalized. It’s fine. See you after school?**

_Definitely!!! Take care. xxx_

            “You’re not going to tell him?” Terence asks, and he realizes he’s seen the whole exchange.

            “I’d rather tell him in person, when he can see that I’m okay.”

            “Huh. Yeah, probably not a bad idea. He’s going to worry all day though isn’t he?”

            “Yeah, probably.”

            **You too. xxx**

            “Gentlemen, you need to discuss something with me?”

            They all jump a little at the sound of Mrs Scott’s voice but they stand and he’s nodding, although _what_ he’s going to discuss is something of a mystery. They file in and take seats and she closes the door.

            “I understand you locker was vandalized Mr Karofsky. Any idea why?”

            He swallows and then rolls his shoulders.

            “Homophobic bullies trying to intimidate me.”

            “Is it true?”

            “Does it matter?” Terence snaps, and despite his best efforts his lips twitch.

            “No. Just curious really. Whether it’s true, or why they would think that.”

            “It’s true, someone must have seen me at McKinley’s senior prom with my boyfriend.” Despite the situation he can’t help the little thrill that calling Kurt his _boyfriend_ causes.

            “Alright then. I’ll have the security footage reviewed and the culprit, or culprits dealt with. Did you want to stay in school today?”

            The question throws him because he hadn’t even thought about the possibility of leaving and he opens and closes his mouth a couple of times.

            “Uh, I don’t know. Do you think I should?”

            “I’d advise you too, until the culprits are found.”

            “I don’t think Carl,” he rolls his eyes and Mrs Scott’s pursed lips, “sorry, the _culprits_ would try anything in school. I’m not scared of them.” Which is a lie, because he kind of is.

            “I didn’t imply that you were Mr Karofsky, however I am aware that mob mentality in high schools is easily… provoked. I am thinking of your own safety here.”

            He hates it, but he knows she probably has a point, but going home just feels cowardly, and also like he’s the one in the wrong somehow. He looks to Terence to see if he can maybe get his opinion to find him sitting there impassively, shrugging silently when Dave mouths a silent _well?_ in his general direction. He tries to convey how useless he currently thinks Terence is being with his face and then turns to Mrs Scott.

            “Do you mind if I talk to my dad?”

            She smiles and has the phone already in her hand, keying in his father’s number without even consulting him and he figures she must have his file pulled up on her computer. He listens as she explains to his dad what’s happened, saying she hasn’t seen the damage to his locker, but that her advisement is that Dave leave school for the day before she passes him the phone.

            “He would like to speak to you.”

            “Hey dad…”

            “You okay?” Dave can’t help the roll of his eyes.

            “Yeah, of course. It’s just a bit of paint on my locker.”

            “Don’t be stupid David, it’s not _only_ paint on a locker. Do you want to leave? Go home for the day?”

            “Dad… _no_.” He wishes he was alone in the room suddenly. “That’s…running away,” he adds quietly.

            “You’re _allowed_ to run. If you don’t feel safe there then I’m getting you out.”

            “But I’d have to come back tomorrow.” He frowns, because he doesn’t feel un-safe.

            “No. You can finish school right now.” He can hear his dad taking a deep breath and he can’t help be grateful that he came out to him months ago, that this isn’t a huge shock to him as well. “You can walk out those doors and never have to go back.”

            “I have friends here dad, I’d actually like to hang out with them and pretend we’re actually still doing something productive until summer. And I guess I have to get used to this type of shit. Uh, I mean stuff. I can’t ignore it. Not anymore.” He feels the truth of what he’s saying wash through him and wonders if this is what Kurt feels like, freedom, still with the undercurrent of fear, but not letting it hold himself back anymore.

            “Well, I’m going to excuse you so if you want to leave at any time you can just walk out. Okay?”

            “I… yeah. Okay.”

            He says his goodbyes, reassuring his dad that he will go to someone if he needs to and passes the phone back. The bell has long since rung and the look Mrs Scott gives him can only be described as concerned but he shrugs it off.

            He’ll be fine.

 

**LSY**

 

            He keeps checking his phone, a little preoccupied about Dave’s earlier text messages and he’s wondering if he’s being paranoid. He wants to _talk_ to him, because he can tell when Dave is hiding something from him now, from just the tone of his voice. Stupid text messages just don’t give him enough information. He’s already stopped himself from getting in his car and driving to Carmel, because there’s _something_ niggling, something that isn’t right, and he hates it.

            Despite the fact that they aren’t covering any new material his classes before lunch pass fairly quickly, and he knows he’ll be able to ring Dave, their lunch periods overlapping by twenty minutes. When there’s no answer after the third try he gives up on the pretense of staying in school and heads toward his car, steps slowing when he sees his dad walking toward him and his stomach drops.

            “Dad… what are you doing here?”

            “I… look, is there somewhere we can go and sit down?”

            He looks around the school yard, the nearby benches are filled with students, and he shakes his head.

            “Dad, you’re freaking me out. What’s happened? Is Carole okay? I know Finn’s fine, I just saw him trying to eat his own body weight in food…”

“Kurt. I got a call from Paul. David’s father.”

            His whole body feels like it’s been immersed in ice and he wishes he’d listened to his dad and found a chair, because slumping against the wall and sliding to the floor isn’t a good look.

            “Is he…” _Alive_? He can’t make himself say it, but a small sane part of his mind is telling him not to overreact.

            “He didn’t say… just that he was at the hospital and thought you would like to know.”

            “Oh my god. I’m meant to be seeing him after school.”

            “Well how about we move that time frame up a little. Let me take you to the hospital.”

            He doesn’t notice anything after that, everything looks, feels and sounds fuzzy, like he’s surrounded in layers of bubble wrap. His dad drives, which is just as well because his mind is imagining every possibly scenario and none of them are pleasant. He wishes he knew what had happened, just so his overactive imagination has something _solid_ to focus on, rather than the tiny snippets of text messages which paint a possibly grim picture. He faintly feels his dad steer him towards the entrance to the hospital, figures his dad is asking about Dave and of course they won’t tell them anything.

            He searches the waiting room but he can’t see Dave’s dad anywhere, although he knows he must be here at the hospital. So he sits and waits, phone clasped between his hands, and he’s willing it to chime with a message from Dave, even though he knows it’s a futile hope. His dad seems at a loss of what to do or say, but he’s glad for the company anyway, because he has no idea what he would say to someone in his situation right now.

            “You can go and see him.”

            Shoes fill his line of vision and he looks up to the tired gaze of Paul Karofsky and just the fact that he can go and _see_ Dave gets rid of half of the horrible imaginings in his mind. More than half. He feels the knot in his stomach loosen slightly.

            “I – really? He’s okay?”

            “Well, he’s shaken, but he’s fine physically. Apart from a broken arm.”

            “Oh… okay.” He sucks in a deep breath, steeling himself. A broken arm. He can deal with that. He’s seen his father lying unresponsive in a hospital bed with multiple tubes coming out of him. He can do this. He listens to Paul rattle of the room and his dad’s offer to take him to get coffee and he heads on autopilot down the hall before stopping. His hands suddenly feel empty, and he wonders if he should run to the gift shop and get him something before deciding, and hoping, that just seeing him will be enough for Dave.

            He pushes open the door slowly and freezes when he sees Dave, past memories of other people he cares about lying in a similar setting flooding his head. Dave looks… well. Paul hadn’t mentioned the bruising, or the fact that Dave has obviously been beaten. Dave’s face is swollen, but he still smiles and his eyes go warm when he finally steps into the room and forces a small smile. The last thing he feels like doing is smiling, but he’s certain crying or making a big fuss won’t make Dave feel any better right now.

            “Hi…” he manages to get out, and his voice wavers.

            “I guess I need a keeper huh?” He frowns, not really understanding what Dave is referring to and his incomprehension must be apparent on his face. “You told me to take care… I didn’t do such a good job.”

            He shakes his head, stepping closer before sinking down into the chair beside his bed.

            “Oh my god Dave. You… you are _not_ to blame for this,” his hands flutter helplessly, wanting to touch but also not wanting to hurt him. Dave takes his hand, squeezing firmly,  smiling a little wider and he tries to ignore the fact that the movement breaks open the split in his lip.

            “I know it’s not my fault. I was just… trying to lighten the mood?”

            “Yes well, you didn’t.” Dave grimaces and he instantly feels worse. “I’m sorry, I just… I was really worried. The things I imagined. I’m just really glad you’re okay.”

            Dave’s lower lip trembles and he knows if he starts crying he’s going to join him.

            “Yeah… I’m okay. I’m fine… just, Terence is in surgery.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Last chapter. So it's longer than normal because I was adamant that it was the last chapter and it should have probably been two, but well, that's being stubborn and sticking to my own rules for some weird reason.
> 
> In the last nine months I have moved house, sold a house, bought a house (and helped my dad buy a house and move). From mid-August 2013 to the end of the year I did not have a home computer to write on (which didn't matter too much as both of my wrists were in braces for the most part of three months). Through it all I worked full time and been a mum to twin boys (who are now 3.5 – when I started writing this story arc with 'Into the Darkness' they weren't even one yet. They also have both undergone two lots of surgery each, one less than two weeks ago). Thanks for being part of this journey and sticking with it (and me) – you all deserve medals. Seriously).

**CHAPTER TWENTY** **THREE**

The police have come and spoken to Dave; he'd gone to leave, but instead his hand had been firmly grasped and he'd listened as Dave outlined the attack. Four of the football team jumping him near his car at lunch, Terence stepping in and even  _more_  of the team jumping  _him_. Dave's voice goes quiet when he tells the police about why Terence jumped in, not only because he's a great guy, but because he's gay as well. That Terence outed himself to everyone standing around watching Dave getting beaten, that they gave up on Dave and attacked Terence with much more ferocity. Dave admits he doesn't know who called the police.

His dad, and more importantly Paul and Claire, let him sleep beside Dave in the hospital, uncomfortable in the chair and head resting on the bed. He's glad he's there though; because in the quiet of the night Dave whispers to him that he feels guilty, that Terence wouldn't have been attacked if it hadn't been for him. He tries his best to reassure Dave that it's not his fault, but he wonders what would have happened to Dave if he had been outed at McKinley, without Azimio's friendship, without the Glee Club, whether it would be Dave lying in that bed instead of Terence.

The next day the principal from Carmel comes and talks to Dave, she seems nice. Stern though, but that is probably the circumstances. Carl and the others have been suspended. There are pending criminal charges and those with football scholarships will most likely lose them. They're not allowed to graduate with everyone else and even though Dave is nodding and saying it sounds fair he's quietly seething inside, because it doesn't sound fair at all. He knows the police are waiting for Terence to wake up, to get his statement before proceeding, but he just wants it to be over for Dave.

Fortunately Dave is released from hospital thirty-six hours later, and inwardly Kurt can't help but feel pleased how everyone has suddenly banded together, Dave's friends from Carmel, New Directions and Azimio, the latter sticking out a little but quickly taken under Honey's welcoming wing. Despite being released he goes back to the hospital with Dave to wait.

The relief is palpable when Terence goes from being classed as critical to stable. However despite the number of people coming and going during the day he doesn't think he's imagining the glowering looks sent his and Dave's way from Terence's family across the waiting room. Nate amuses him because he seems to do an equal amount of glaring back in their general direction. He remembers Terence telling him his family wasn't going to be supportive of him if he came out and he wonders if this, these circumstances, might change that.

**LSY**

He tries not to grip Kurt's hand constantly, but sometimes he just needs to. It feels like he can somehow draw strength from the simple touch and keep himself grounded. He's not sure if people are skipping school or whether they've been given blanket permission to come and visit him because his room feels like Grand Central Station whenever he's not up at the hospital. Although he's not allowed to see Terence. That's what he's been told by the nurses, told with apologetic looks. Family only they said, but he's not an idiot. He knows they already break enough rules keeping him updated with Terence's condition when they shouldn't.

Right now he's home, Kurt lying beside him, fingers absentmindedly stroking the plaid pattern on his shirt which Dave is forcing himself not to focus on too much, although it is doing a good job of distracting him about thinking about his inability to visit Terence. The proximity Kurt has been keeping the last few days has been wonderful and he doesn't want to make Kurt feel uncomfortable or self-conscious about it. Or worse,  _stop_. It feels good. Easy. Although if he focusses on it too much he starts wondering what it might feel like without his shirt between them and he's not sure  _he's_  ready for that, let alone Kurt being ready.

His musings are abruptly cut short when Honey appears in his doorway, her greeting bright and excited and he lets out a mental sigh of relief. Nate appears behind her and he can tell from her energetic bounce to the edge of his bed that she has something she wants to say. He shuffles up the bed slightly, inwardly disappointed when Kurt sits up and moves away, although he leaves his hand on Dave's.

"Prom was cancelled!" Honey says, seemingly delighted.

"Uh. What?" He says, because it doesn't make sense, her happy demeanor with that statement. Honey had been looking forward to prom for  _months_. Years probably.

"Well, no one really felt like celebrating anyway. I mean, the football and hockey teams are currently at the bottom of the social ladder. And I mean  _bottom_. Some of them won't even show their faces at school, haven't been turning up to training and the coach is talking about having to cancel the summer camp."

"Is that right?" Dave asks, looking to Nate for confirmation, because Honey is known for her tendency to over exaggerate but Nate is pulling an ' _I can't believe it either_ ' face.

"She's spot on. I'm getting back slaps and those weird head nods when I walk down the hall. People are… on your side? At least outwardly," Nate says, and he hides a smile at Nate's incredibly cynical side. He imagines Nathan is right though, that even if people hate him and Terence for being gay, they wouldn't say anything given the current atmosphere that he's heard about.

" _Anyway_ , as I was saying, prom may have been cancelled, but they still announced king and queen." She looks at him expectantly and he shrugs helplessly, suddenly realizing why she's so happy. "It's you and me!"

Kurt has started laughing beside him, hand waving and Dave supposes Kurt's trying to look apologetic, however the giggles he keeps letting escape completely belie the effort and he pokes his tongue out at him playfully before turning back to Honey.

" _Really_?" He knows he sounds resigned but at least he didn't have to dance.

Nate is nodding and actually looks apologetic, while Honey is saying something about how gorgeous they would have looked on the dance floor. Kurt, the total asshole, is agreeing with her, wide smile on his face and eyes sparkling with amusement and then he's pressing his face into Dave's shoulder and he doesn't care anymore.

**LSY**

He wishes Kurt was allowed to stay over now that he's out of hospital, not for anything more than to have someone near him while he sleeps. The first night home his dad had woken him from a nightmare. One he doesn't remember and he's glad of that. The nightmares he  _does_  remember are bad enough and he's woken at least once a night drenched in sweat, throat sore, face sometimes wet with tears. He's been offered counseling, the school guidance counselor calling in and saying she can organize someone else if he'd prefer. He doesn't, he's always liked her.

He asks Kurt to stay for his first therapy session, wanting to be open and vulnerable in front of him but also hoping that Kurt might see how it's  _meant_  to work. He introduces Kurt to her, adding ' _this is the guy I used to bully at McKinley'_  and notes the slightly raised eyebrow that's quickly followed by a small smile and nod of the head. He talks about his nightmares with her, pats Kurt reassuringly on the back when he spies tears in his eyes and accepts the tight bear hug Kurt gives him. He talks about Terence, his worries about college, his guilt, over everything. As usual she listens, validates his feelings and offers coping strategies and differing points of view. He can tell Kurt is listening and paying attention intently, and when she leaves Kurt grips his hand and just tells him he's going to go and get her number. He has no idea if she takes private patients but he hopes she might make an exception in Kurt's case.

Claire mothers him, and he lets her. His cast is a waterproof one thankfully, but it still means taking a shower is something he can just  _do_ anymore. His right arm is in a cast halfway up his upper arm, so he's unable to move his wrist and his elbow. He realizes several issues every time he goes to do something for the first time since the attack. Eating is one of the messiest and most embarrassing activities now, and he's making just as much mess as Lily and Adam. Kurt had helped cut his steak up the first night and since then Claire's made sure to make meals which he can just eat with a fork.

He tries to be as much help as possible without helping in the kitchen. During the day he lets himself be playful with Lily and Adam, although they think his cast makes a great drum which makes his arm ache. He takes naps in the afternoon when they do and the first afternoon he wakes up to find Kurt curled up asleep beside him he doesn't stop grinning for hours.

He's been home for four days when he hears from Honey that Terence is awake.

**LSY**

He has to ask his dad to drive him, because once he hears that Terence is awake he has to at least  _try_  to see him. He notes the complete lack of people in the waiting room and hopes that they aren't all piled into Terence's hospital room. The nurse at the counter recognizes him and smiles encouragingly which he takes as a positive sign. She tells him Terence's new room number and he nods his thanks.

"I'll just wait here."

"Thanks dad. I won't be too long."

"Take your time."

He pushes the door open and takes in the sight before him, meeting Terence's eyes in the fortunately empty room. Terence looks like he barely escaped death, face swollen and mottled. He reaches out with his fist, bumping it against Terence's gently before sitting down beside him and he tries to ignore the overwhelming guilt he feels when he sees the tears roll out of the corner of Terence's eyes.

"Hey man."

"Hey." Terence sniffs. "You're not meant to be here."

"No. I'm not. You want me to go?"

"Hell no. You're the first face I've been glad to see since I woke up. They wouldn't even tell me you were alive."

"Huh." That might explain the tears. "I'm… alive. Thanks to you. You've scared the shit out of us the last week or so."

"Like to keep you on your toes…"

"Yeah, you do. I've… your…" he's not sure how to ask about his family. "Sorry it took me so long to come visit."

Terence snorts, looks away and shrugs before wincing in pain that the movement must have caused.

"I guess my family didn't exactly make it easy for you…" Dave bites his lip and shrugs, because he's here now. "They… my dad, he said I'm not allowed to lay charges. My dad said that if I laid hate-crime charges then I'm not his son. They'll kick me out."

"Fuck…"

"Yeah, but if I don't and I stay at home he's saying I have to go to one of those camps…"

"No. Fuck that. Those are sucky choices. That's lose-lose. I… you know that's not your only choice right? I know it would suck, but if they did kick you out you'd have a place with me. Us. My family I mean." He hasn't asked of course, but his dad had said something in passing, having obviously picked up on the tension in the hospital room as much as everyone else and he just knows his dad would never let any of his friends be homeless.

"My dad isn't bluffing. And I don't want to be a charity case."

"Neither am I. Bluffing that is. And it wouldn't be charity."

Terence doesn't say anything and he has no idea how long they sit in silence before his dad comes to get him to say it's time they left. He doesn't understand until he passes a woman he thinks is Terence's sister in the waiting room.

If looks could kill he would be dead.

**LSY**

Kurt's not sure what drives him to bring it up with his dad. Well, he  _does_  know but he wishes that he wasn't even thinking about it. Dave had told him about his trip to the hospital and he hadn't been able to help his mind starting to come up with possible solutions. He'd like to lay them all out and show Terence the various options; he doesn't want him to feel like he has to stay where he is. His dad had agreed, face grim but wholeheartedly supporting him and that brings him here.

He knows his way around the hospital, knows the usual visiting times and routine of Terence's family, and that right now, seven in the morning, Terence might not even be awake. He knows Dave came to see him, that Dave offered Terence his home. But Kurt has an ace up his sleeve, one he thinks Terence will appreciate. His friendship with Terence has been all about empowerment for himself, the karate lessons helping more than the therapy had and he wants to give that back in some way. Although now, seeing Terence lying in bed, his six-foot frame still he wonders what the point is sometimes. If Terence hadn't been able to protect himself what chance does he have?

Letting out a quiet breath he knows Terence is going to need therapy as well. Physical as well as psychological. His own fears feel lesser now that he's found someone he can talk with. He thought he'd talked enough, but recent events have left him with a set of different fears, ones he doesn't want to burden Dave with. He sits down on the chair beside Terence's bed, wondering if he'll have to wait long before he wakes because he doesn't want to be alone with his own thoughts for too long.

Of course silence ticks by, half-an-hour dragging and he's second guessing everything when Terence's eyes finally scrunch a bit before one eye slits open, sees him and both eyes blink open in bleary confusion.

"Kurt? What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to give you another option."

Terence lets out a long sigh and he bites back an equally tired sounding sigh. He's not the one that almost got beaten to death.

"Dave already offered me his place…"

"Yeah. I know. He told me. Thing is his family is growing and moving and it's all a bit transitionary for you right now." He watches as Terence looks away, wonders if he has even given it serious consideration. "You have a long road ahead of you. Physical therapy…" He feels like utter shit saying that, watches as Terence tenses, mouth gone tight. "You're going to need to stay in town. Which sucks. Anyway, my point is that you have another option. There's my dad," Terence looks like he's about to interrupt. "No, listen, please. Finn and I are both leaving. There will be space,  _lots_  of space. Plus when you're better you can help my dad out in the garage. You can help him with the paperwork until you're well enough to be on the floor, and you'd be helping him out and you'd be able to work for board…"

He doesn't mention that his dad is likely to put all the board money into a separate account and hand it right back to Terence when he moves out. He has no idea if Terence will be able to get a deferment on his college admission but he hopes so.

"You helped me feel strong again," he stops, remembering his coffee cup that Dave gave him. "I want to give you that feeling back. You will get through this. And it's not an offer that has an expiration date. You want to try living at home, that's cool. Just… you can give my dad a call any time and he will come and get you. I'd say you could call me, and you can, but even if I'm not in town I'm not exactly one of the most intimidating people around…"

"Don't underestimate yourself. You're pretty fucking intimidating." He smiles dryly and shrugs a shoulder, taking the compliment for what it is. He knows Terence gets what he means. "Thanks though… I… I don't know what I'm going to do yet."

"Have you ever spoken to your school counselor?"

"Mrs. Barnett? No, well not recently."

"Well, I've asked her to come visit. She's… really good. I think she'll help."

Terence doesn't say anything but he nods slightly and Kurt nods in reply. He's done everything he can and now and he stands, leaning over Terence to give him a gentle hug, moving slowly and hoping he doesn't freak him out. They've never hugged before.

"Whatever you decide, and  _you_  need to make the decision, I will support it one hundred percent. Okay?"

"Okay," Terence says with a watery smile.

He counts the smile as a win.

**LSY**

He's not sure how his dad and Claire have managed with him being in hospital, unable to help as much with the twins and Claire being either nauseated or exhausted.  _Or_   _both_. Every time he goes to help he's pushed away, told he needs to rest and recover. It gets frustrating after eight days, even though he knows with his cast he's not as much use as he would be. One of the positive aspects is Kurt stepping in, a guy that looked at him with terrified eyes when Dave asked him to hold a baby seven months ago is now bathing them by himself, or cooking meals for his family. He loves the completely seamless way that Kurt has stepped in, doing things without being asked, like he's a member of the family.

He'd briefly worried that maybe Kurt was feeling a sense of guilt, or like he somehow needed to rescue them as a family, or he'd been relegated into the role of friend… and then Kurt had come into his bedroom after dinner and made out with him, gentle kisses leaving him breathless and aching. And of course Kurt had seemed to know exactly what was bothering him without him saying anything.

"You know, you told me something not long ago," Kurt says, wriggling his body slightly so they're lying side-by-side, fingers linked.

"Uh…"

"I was feeling bad that you were having to deal with all my… issues and you know what you said to me?"

"No," Dave replies, face scrunching because he honestly can't remember.

"You said it was what relationships are about. Dealing with stuff with the help and support of someone else."

"Oh… yeah, I remember."  _Very vaguely_  he adds silently.

"Well, it's a two way street. I know as soon as you're able you'll be helping out as much as you can, but until then… enjoy. You have a broken arm. It needs rest. Also I like helping. I look at it that I am helping you by helping out your family. That's what boyfriends do…"

Even hours and days later the memory makes him smile and feel warm all over.

**LSY**

He doesn't bring it up with Dave, not really sure how to with everything that has been going on. But he's going to Ohio State. Planning to relocate later in the summer and already has a place in a dorm. He'd looked at the other colleges, thought about being so far away from his dad and decided he just  _couldn't._  The idea of being so far from Dave  _hurts_  but the logical side of him knows he can't make such a life decision for someone else. This needed to be just for him and he knows if anyone will understand it will be David. He just wishes he knew where Dave was going, if anywhere; he's not sure Dave sent acceptance letters with everything that has happened in the last month. Either way it's not a conversation he is looking forward to having, which is why he's been avoiding it, changing the subject every time it's raised.

School has officially finished, graduation felt like a complete non-event, although he suspects his building anxiety over the upcoming changes are likely impacting his state of mind. It's that which has him visiting with the counselor from Carmel, and she's much more helpful than anyone else he's spoken to. Even though he'd thought he was completely over the assault she'd carefully told him that it's not like a switch; some days it might feel like it, but that it's more like a piece of string that can loop back on itself and some days he might feel like it all happened yesterday. And that that's normal.

He always feels calm and thoughtful, more restful when his session with her ends, and there is always something for him to mull over. His last session, that morning, she'd finished with a calm  _'You need to talk to David'_  and a pointed look and he knows she's right, because their relationship has no chance if he doesn't give it one. Thinking about it more he decides he needs to talk to Dave,  _now_ , before he loses his nerve again and he heads out. When he passes the dining room there's an extra place set and he blinks before heading into the kitchen only to find it empty, although there seems to be enough food cooking to feed an entire football team.

"Are we expecting company?" he asks Carol when he finally finds her.

"Oh. Well… yes? I thought he would have told you."

"Dave's coming for dinner?"

"No. Terence. And not just for dinner."

_Well fuck._

**LSY**

He's not hurt by Terence's choice to move in with Kurt instead of him, but he is stunned by the abruptness of it. Terence had only been home for two days before moving out and then in with Kurt and his family. He feels like a complete idiot when Kurt, somehow completely on to him even though he was careful not to say anything, pointed out that with Finn gone there's the space, there aren't small children around while Terence recuperates and Terence is planning on helping his dad in the shop, making him feel less like he's a guest in their home and contributing.

Nate and Kurt say they'll take turns to bring either Dave to Kurt's house, or Terence to Dave's, which will allow them to hang out. Kurt and Nate both have part-time jobs and neither he nor Terence can drive with their casts on respective body limbs. Dave tries not to think too hard about other activities he can't carry out easily with a cast on his arm. It's only been the four days since Terence has been released, two days since he moved in with Kurt and they're sitting on the sofa about to watch a movie when Terence speaks.

"My dad was going to hit me…" he says it quietly, almost like he doesn't want Dave to hear and a part of him wishes he hadn't. For all he was scared about coming out to his dad, he never thought his dad might hit him. Terence coughs. "That's when I knew I had to get out. I can barely walk and… I had to do what was right. What I could live with on my conscience for the rest of my life."

Dave swallows the lump in his throat. Terence wouldn't be able to fight back like he had done to save Dave. He knows that Terence has agreed to press charges, like he's done himself, although without the full support of his family behind him.

"It must have been a hard decision."

"No. It was an easy decision. Just fucking terrible repercussions for me personally. But it was going to happen. Timeline just shifted up."

Terence shrugs and Dave doesn't know what to say, he really doesn't and he wishes he did because he doubts he'd be so pragmatic about it. "Dude, I knew I would be getting kicked out as soon as they found out. They're… very black and white about it," Terence snorts and then rubs his face. It makes Dave feel worse, wonders if  _this_  is what Kurt had an idea about, for Terence waiting for the inevitable, waiting for fuck knows how long. He swallows again.

"I just, wanted to tell you. You have it good."

"I know. I wish I could make it good for you…"

"Sorry man, but you're not my type."

He snorts, hiccoughs and then smiles, letting a couple of tears run down his face.

"Yeah, you're not exactly mine either."

"Don't I know it. I live with your boyfriend now. And you know how I told you that you were a lucky guy because Kurt was with you?"

"Uh… did you? Cause I don't remember that, not really, but okay?" He will never not think he's lucky to have Kurt, he doesn't need other people telling or reminding him but he's kind of curious to see where Terence is going with this, and quite a lot relieved that the subject matter is much lighter.

"Well I take it all back. Kurt is great, but living with him? Oh my god… his dad went out and got us stealth cheese burgers. Is he this bad with you?"

"Uh. No?" He tries to recall if there's ever been a time when Kurt has told him what to eat. Or what not to eat. And there hasn't been a single occasion. In fact recently Kurt has been ensuring he  _does_  eat, and has even taken over baking on Tuesdays, which has been much to the delight of Azimio because there'd been one Tuesday when there had been no cake when he'd shown up.

" _Man_ , make the most of it. When you guys move in together… he's a tyrant."

"I… I think that's just because it's his dad and his heart you know? Because have you seen Kurt eat? He packs away pizza and cake just as well as Az does…" He's quietly reeling over the idea of Kurt and him even living together, considering they haven't even talked about where they will be in a couple of months' time.

"Oh my god, you're right. It's only when he's at home. Bring on the day he moves out…"

"He's definitely moving out then?"

"Yeah," Terence says, and something in Dave's tone must have alerted Terence to something being off. "You mean he hasn't told you?"

"Uh… not exactly?"

"Fuck, you two are as bad as each other. You needed me and Nate to get you to even admit that you liked him like that…"

"Actually I think that was me that did that…" Azimio says, walking into the room bearing pizza boxes. "Claire let me in. You having romance problems? I can help. Honey's an expert you know."

"An expert at what?" Honey asks.

Dave groans, wishing he could have his quiet afternoon back.

**LSY**

When he gets to Dave's place after helping out in the garage it looks like the remnants of a party, albeit a very tame one. Honey and Azimio have left to go on a date, and he's secretly thrilled at the idea of them dating, now that he knows them both better. Nate swings by to pick up Terence, taking him home and he knows they have plans to do something violent on the Xbox which involves a lot of shouting. He's glad he'll be out of the house. He has Dave to himself for the night, with Claire and Paul taking the kids to Columbus for the night. He's cleared it with his dad, trying not to pull the  _'I'm eighteen and can do what I want'_  card but rather the  _'My boyfriend and I need to have a long overdue discussion about some things. No dad, we won't be having sex'_  and trying his best not to roll his eyes.

He'd been waylaid when he'd last tried to come and talk to Dave, but he's now been wanting to talk to him for two days and his life seems suddenly time poor. He's been talking to Terence, wanting to ensure he feels welcome and had wanted to mention that if he had nightmares he only needed to text and he'd be right there. Not that he expects Terence to text him, not because he doesn't have nightmares but because their friendship just isn't quite at that level, although he hopes that it will be one day.

He finishes tidying up, ignores Dave's protests about leaving it, that he can tidy up. He places the pre-prepared food he's intending to cook for dinner in the fridge. He's left his bag in the car, not wanting to commit to staying unless everything goes well. He's fairly certain that Dave and him are on the same page, but regardless there is still the churning in his gut, the nerves that maybe he's wrong. He settles himself down beside Dave, curling into his left side and rests his head on his chest. Dave's arm slowly settles around him, going firm like a hug for a second before releasing to just rest comfortably around him.

"We need to talk…"

**LSY**

Despite the words and the spike of dread they cause he forces himself not to jump to conclusions. Kurt is cuddled up against him, he's pretty sure that's not a ' _we need to break up'_  kind of posture someone would take when coupled with the whole clichéd ' _we need to talk'_ statement. Then again Kurt's always bucked the trend.

"I, yeah. I figured as much. I mean, Kurt, you've been… avoiding something. What?"

He's pretty sure he knows what.  _College._  He tries not to get distracted by the way Kurt nibbles on his bottom lip when he's nervous, before he realizes he's doing it and then he licks and presses them together like he's brushing creases out of his shirt.

"I… it's going to sound childish and immature."

Dave raises both his eyebrows.

"With a side of dramatic?" He feels Kurt's face scrunch against his chest and can just imagine the face he's pulling right now.

"The future. I'm avoiding the future…"

"Oh. The totally unavoidable thing that slowly but surely happens to all of us?"

"Shut up…" Kurt mutters, but he can tell he's not really upset because he squirms a bit closer.

"This is about college huh? Where are you going?" He knows there's only three, and even though he knows Kurt had his heart set on NYADA a totally selfish part of himself hopes Kurt chooses somewhere closer. He's going to Ohio State, having had a long conversation with his dad and Claire. So he won't be moving out of home, but he will be moving with his family to Columbus. He hasn't told Kurt that, so he doesn't feel like he can really be mad at Kurt for wanting to face up to moving away from each other.

"Ohio State. I didn't want to be too far from my dad. What with everything, I just… it's reminded me of how precious everything in our lives is and I want to be able to come home in weekends and see him if I want. Or heaven forbid  _need_  to come home…"

"I'm going to Ohio State too. Uh –"

He doesn't get much more out as Kurt has moved and is straddling his thighs, eyes bright, arms resting on his shoulders.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Dad and Claire are actually looking at houses in Columbus tomorrow. I… we had a long talk and I said to them that I wanted to stay close, because of Lily and Adam you know. I don't want them to grow up and not  _know_  me. And then this other little baby… I want to be around you know?"

Kurt is nodding, smile wide and blinding.

"We both made the same choice. Wow… I didn't even think this would be how it would work out."

He's almost afraid to ask.

"How exactly did you think it would work out?"

"Us figuring out how we were going to manage long distance. I figured you'd choose MIT."

Dave shrugs, smiles while shaking his head and wraps his good arm around Kurt's waist gently.

"Nope. Maybe it's just meant to be huh?"

"My thoughts exactly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Just the epilogue to go, which I have set an update time of two-weeks from now (and intend to update First and Foremost in a week's time). Four days before I posted this, I had 3,500 words written and I almost re-wrote the entire thing and killed Terence off. Aren't you glad I didn't?


	24. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the help with choosing the baby’s name. Thanks for all the reviews and support and encouragement. I appreciate it all.

**AUGUST**

            He feels like his life has been nothing but cardboard boxes for the last few months. First helping Dave and his family pack, and now looking at his single dorm room, a blank canvas except for the multiple brown boxes stacked near the doorway. His dad and Terence are bringing up the final few things, telling him he needs to start unpacking and he’s not looking forward to that _at all_. He’d tried to be brutal when it came to sorting through everything but it just doesn’t seem to have helped. Dave is looking after Lily and Adam. Bringing them here would be the opposite of helpful. As if just thinking about him conjures his phone to ringing and he answers.

            “Hi…” he says, smiling as he walks the four steps across to his bed before sitting down.

            “How’s it all going?”

            He can’t hear Lily or Adam in the background, can only assume that they are probably sleeping at this time of day, which is good news considering how badly their routine has been shaken the last few weeks with the move and arrival of the new baby.

            “It’s good. All my worldly possessions are now in one tiny room that smells vaguely of pot and pine freshener.”

            He feels warm all over as Dave laughs and smiles again as his dad and Terence walk in with the last two boxes.

            “Well, I thought I’d offer you some motivation to get all your shit organized. How about as soon as it’s sorted you come over?”

            He groans, because it’s going to take him _ages_ to get everything unpacked and put where he wants it. “I didn’t say you had to have it perfect and up to your exacting standards Kurt, just get everything out of boxes and clothes into drawers. You can sort everything later.”

            He narrows his eyes and looks at his Dad and Terence. Terence at least has wizened up in the last few months and starts edging toward the door, looking to make an escape and a part of him feels like laughing at the behavior.

            “I’ll call you back,” he says to Dave, feeling a little bad about abruptly hanging up on him, but needs must. He _really_ wants to see Dave.

            “I need your help,” he states, ignoring the muttering coming from both his dad and Terence as he instructs them to start opening boxes.

            Oh god, he’s not going to have any idea of where _anything_ is.

 

**LSY**

 

            Dave gets off the phone to Kurt and looks around his room. He _loves_ his new room. It’s actually more like an apartment, built over the garage of the new house. His dad had justified the expense of having it built by saying he wouldn’t have to help pay for Dave’s accommodation costs seeing as he was staying at home, which is a bit of a misnomer because it definitely doesn’t feel like home. However his dad had also said it would increase the property value so he’d stopped arguing.

            Everything is brand new; carpet, drapes and paint all making it smell new, despite having the windows open all the time. Kurt had had a field day, although of course he’d complained about not being able to properly envisage the space he was decorating, but it couldn’t be helped. There had been plenty of photos exchanged between them but he can’t wait to show Kurt the finished product in person. Not long now.

            The house is out in the suburbs of course, so he’ll have to drive to campus, but he doesn’t care. He has his own little lounge area, separate bathroom and tiny kitchen where he can cook if he wants. Although Claire and Kurt have both told him he’s not allowed to do anything more than boil hot water. He’s fine with that though, just the sheer independence of it has him grinning every time he steps through his front door.

            In between all the packing and moving over the last few months they’d had a big farewell party. In his mind Dave had also thought of it as a ‘ _we survived_ ’ party, with it coinciding with Terence finally getting the cast of his leg, now just in a moon-boot to act as support while his physical therapy works to build back muscle tone. He knows Terence’s siblings have visited him a couple of times, which he knows means a lot to Terence, although his parents haven’t even phoned to ask how he’s doing.

            His phone beeps and he looks at the screen; ‘ _Help!_ ’ from Claire. He heads down into the main house to find her sitting on the sofa surrounded by a moat of baby vomit. _Ugh_. He exchanges a scrunched up face with her. Lily and Adam weren’t like this, a reflux and colic combination. He’s just glad that at least this is only one baby. He goes and gets the old towels and starts filling the bucket with hot water, listening as Claire consoles Jess. He just hopes Lily and Adam stay asleep for a little while longer. Working quickly he mops up the vomit before spraying the floor down with a disinfectant, grimacing jointly with Claire as she stands, the bottom of her pajama pants damp.

            “How about I take her and you go shower and change?”

            “Are you telling me I smell?” Claire says, smiling weakly and he smiles back, knowing that Claire will get back to her usual self when she’s no longer sleep deprived.

            “You want to stay covered in baby vomit? Cause I’ll just treat it as preparation for all the college parties I’m going to be going to…” Claire huffs in what he assumes is amusement and he’s passed an only slightly-damp baby. “I’ll go change her and check on the other two.”

            “Thank you Dave. _Really_. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

            He smiles self-depreciatingly, not comfortable with the praise, but not refuting it either. He knows his own value now, his therapist and Kurt telling him, _reminding_ him, of how much he gives to those around him. He follows Claire upstairs, cradling Jess to his chest. He’s much more confident now that he’s had experience with Lily and Adam. He hums under his breath and bounces her ever so slightly as he steps into the nursery to change her.

 

**LSY**

 

            He only feels partly like a horrible son and person when he deserts his dad and Terence, giving them both tight hugs and telling them to at least go to somewhere decent for dinner before driving back to Lima. His drive to Dave’s takes longer than the expected twenty minutes that the map app on his phone estimated, and he suspects it’s because he’s gotten lost a couple of times. However he figures he needs to learn his way around Columbus and there’s nothing better than getting lost a couple of times to help.

            He’s driven to Columbus from Lima a few times, but not since Dave’s room has been finished. He’s visited the campus, the dorm rooms. Fitting the trips back-and-forth around a trip to New York which had been his graduation present from his dad. Of all people Nate had gone with him, introducing him to his mother; only for Kurt to realize that she was a Broadway star. Nathan had been far too smug. Of course then Claire had had her baby, a little girl that Kurt had fallen in love with instantly, telling Dave jokingly that he’d have to break up with him.

            He’d never thought he would like kids, and then Lily and Adam had made him realize that they were pretty amazing. And then he’d held Jessica, and it had been a little surreal as his mind tried to grasp how tiny everyone starts out. He can’t wait to see her again although it’s been fifteen days since he last saw Dave, which is the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other since they started doing cake-Tuesdays. He comes to a stop outside, wondering whether he can possibly sneak up and surprise Dave. And finally get a look at the apartment he’s been helping decorate remotely.

            He knows better than to knock or ring the bell when there are potentially sleeping children so he just tries the door, not surprised when it opens. He stops and listens, it’s unerringly quiet. He knows he’s likely missed Lily and Adam, that they’re already in bed given the time of night. But there are not even the mumbling noises of quiet adult conversation. He steps through to the living room to find Dave on the sofa, chest bare, a sleeping Jess resting on him and he has to bite his lips to stop an _aww_ come out.

            “That look suits you, you know.”

            Dave’s eyes flick open and his skin prickles at the warmth in Dave’s eyes.

            “Hey. Just let me go give her to my dad. He’s looking after Claire. She’s exhausted.”

            “Can I have a little hold? Just before you take her?”

            “Sure. Although you wake her you take her…”

            He lets Dave place Jess in his arms and he can’t believe how much she’s grown in a few weeks. He rocks her gently, again just amazed at the tiny life he’s holding.

            “Suits you too.”

            “Hmm?”

            “Holding a baby. You look good.”

            “I look good all the time David.”

            “Mmm. I can’t disagree with you.”

            They’re both smiling when Dave kisses him softly.

 

**LSY**

 

            Fortunately his dad comes and takes Jess from them, shooing them away and he can’t help the bubbling excitement and nerves as he walks up the steps to his apartment, he can’t wait to see what Kurt thinks.

            “Have you eaten?”

            “No, I was kind of in a hurry to get here.”

            “You want me to order something?” Dave offers.

            “I thought you were going to offer to make me something for a second there.”

            “Haha.”

            Kurt’s hand on his wrist stops him just before he opens the door, and then he’s being kissed, a lot more insistent than down in the house and he kisses back, letting Kurt lead. They’ve talked about it. They’ve talked about _everything,_ after mutually deciding that if they couldn’t talk about it together then they definitely weren’t ready to _do_ anything. Of course they’d managed to get over the embarrassment. It’s not embarrassing anymore; rather he finds it kind of hot when Kurt just _mentions_ sex.

            They haven’t done anything more than hand jobs, which had come about due to him embarrassedly admitting to Kurt a few weeks before getting his cast removed that jerking off with his left hand was difficult. Kurt had climbed onto his bed and then rubbed him off through his jeans. They’ve graduated to not wearing pants, but it’s still new and neither of them are ready for it to progress further. They talk about it though and he knows that when, _if_ , they ever get to that stage then they’ll be on the same page. Kurt and him have both got a new therapist, one that has been recommended to them from his school counsellor at Carmel. They’re planning on having their first session together in a weeks’ time, which Kurt had jokingly called couple’s therapy.

            “So, you wanna keep making out or go inside and see my place?”

            “That… sounds incredibly suggestive. But is also a difficult decision. A tour, and then more making out while we wait for food. Pizza? Can it be pizza? I’m hungry.”

            “Sure we can get pizza, you’re the boss,” Dave says, hiding a grin because he can’t wait for Kurt to find the Mr. Bossy mug he had made which has joined Kurt’s Mr. Strong mug in his little kitchen area.

            “Oh my god Dave, it’s… it’s _gorgeous_. Oh my god. _You have a deck_.”

            He tries to see the space as Kurt would; wooden panel flooring, light-blue walls with white detailing and doors along one side that open up to a deck over-looking the backyard. The drapes are some fancy type of baroque style with dark-blue and white, which Kurt picked out online. It looks _good_ , but it still needs some pictures on the walls and maybe a couple of pieces of Lily and Adam’s artwork on the walls before it’ll start feeling like his new home.

            “Are you staying?”    

            “Just try and make me leave.”

            He smiles. That’s never going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this fic is from a song called “Light Surrounding You” by Evermore (a New Zealand band). It’s what I consider my Kurtofsky song and I listened to it a lot while writing this – and it fitted the previous two parts of this series.


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